Indecent brother in-law spoiling married life and relations with parents!!!!!! help!!

hello ladies,

This is my first post on this website i have read many threads but i feel that none of the stories are similar to my story so i am hoping i will get lots of good advise and suggestions for my story :

i am the younger sister, my elder sister got married earlier to a very bad family and hubby. so i never got close to my sisters hubby because of the bad relation he had with my whole family. Fortunately i got married to a decent family as both my in-laws and hubby were great!. My hubby was overall nice, caring and loving man a bit shy and quite with others though and does get angry at time but its rare and unsually appologizes if he is on the wrong end. for the first 4 years
of my married life went very well my hubby liked and respected my parents a lot he even had very good relation with my sister and her hubby.

Then after my hubby got a job abroad my life changed forever as we were going to join him after a few week there and during this time when i was alone i started getting some cheap SMS and emails from my sisters hubby who was also out of town... i told my sister and she asked me to play along as they were just harmless SMS messeges ... but then there SMS messeges started getting very vulgar and indecent e.g. " I like your sexy AS** " " As your husband is away should i come over?" etc i got really disturbed and told this to my hubby while we were talking on the internet as the SMS were also comming while i was talking to him... he got angry and told me call my sister at once and put a stop to this... my sister was also shocked and angry now.... she asked her hubby to stop but thay crazy guy didn't! the next day my husband asked again if the SMS have stopped i told him the truth ... he got really angry and had a fight with my sister and her hubby on the phone ... btw my sister at this point defended her hubby and took his side! after this my hubby decided that we as a family have to end this relationship with my sisters and her hubby ... i was sad that the relationship is spoiled but understood that my hubby was morally right. When my parents also got to know about this they were angry and said many bad things about my sisters hubby but at this time they already did not have any contact with him as he never visited their house beacuse of the bad relationship and incidents in the past not related to me.

Now i was living abroad with my hubby and even had a daughter ... i used to visit india once in an year for a few weeks during these vactions i visited my parents and also met my sister at my parents house with no relationship with my brother in-law even my hubby was fine in this situation. but then things changed again as there was a patch up between my sisters hubby and my parents .... now my parents started showing lots of love and respect to my sisters hubby on big family ocassions in which i was also present with my hubby ... this went to an extent that once my mother even kissed my sisters hubby in a family gathering .... i didn't like all this ... both me and my hubby didn't understand how can my parents treat some one like this who has done such bad things anyways my hubby didn't create any issue ... but both me and my hubby did not have any kind of contact with my sisters hubby! years passed by and things were fine...between me my hubby and my parents ....

Now this year when i came to india on vacations without my hubby as he planned to join us later. My hubby had told very seriously that when ever i visit my parents house i should ensure that my brother in-law is not invited at that same time.. as he does not trust him ... now i was staying at my parents home and my sister asked my mother to invite her and her hubby on the same day i was there... i told my mother not to do this and invite them after a few days .. but she told me my hubby should not know about this... i felt so bad, humiliated and worthless when my sister and hubby were having dinner at my parents house i was in room not meeting them... my mother even tried to get me to greet my brother in-law but clearly told her im not comfortable and even my hubby has forbidden me ! ... now guess what after a few days my hubby found about this party from relatives ...while he was still abroad.. he got really angry and even stopped talking to me for a few days... i accepted my mistake and told him the whole story ... he forgave me on a condition that from now i will only visit my parents with him and never alone .. he is saying like bad people visit your parents home so i can not allow my wife and daugter to go there alone anymore.... btw by this bad people he mainly means my sisters hubby but also some of my uncles as one of them have been to jail for some financial crimes and one of them some times says indecent things to women in family gatherings when he is drunk. now my parents are not bad people at all they very loving and nice people but they can not cut family ties with these bad family members ....

Now i am in bad situation every time i visit india as my parents force me to visit alone and many time to their home but i only visit few times with my hubby... my parents are forcing me to even meet my sister but my hubby does not like all this and getting angry with me on this .. so it seems like my happy married life is getting spoiled now... please advice! what should i do now? some times i feel my hubby taking a very strict stand on these issues!