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In Praise Of Ptrol Diesel Price Hike

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Balajee, Feb 22, 2021.

  1. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Friends, Bhakts, Countrymen. I come here to praise the fuel price hike and not to bury it in an avalanche of criticism. so bear with me patiently without boos and trolls.

    It is really a blow against an increasingly obese nation. Obese? Did all those migrant labourers who trudged home thanks to COVID 19 look obese? Ho sickular, tukde tukde varlet! How darest thou speak about them. I am talking about the great Indian middle class. All burgers, pizzas and no exercise makes Jack a fat boy. If only Jack had walked or ridden a bicycle instead of buzzing around in cars, he would have been as lean as he is mean. The petrol price hike is to discourage Jack from taking his bike or car and instead go on a padayatra or cycle yatra so that he can o put off his antim yatra by losing weight.

    Second, it is a body blow dealt to global warming, climate change. What climate change? Didn't the great god of Bhakts say there's no climate change? Oh you goddamn members of the Afzal club, why do you always remember the wrong things and resist collective amnesia? Try to forget that. Now in his wisdom, he has raised the price of petrol to discourage people from using vehicles to stop carbon emissions? Now you agree it is a great measure?
    The third reason is, this is the most effective way to fight COVID 19.
    You see all these bloody viruses spread quickly7 from nation to nation because the world has shrunk due to faster travel. And that is causing problems. Say, if Corona had wanted to come to India with Fa-Hien or Huen Tsang trudging thousands of kilometres from China to India it would have died on the way due to old age. But not now. All COVID 19 had to fo is to get on a flight from Wuhan travelling free by getting attached to a passenger absolutely free of cost and land anywhere in India. It is that simple! By hiking fuel prices the government has sought to impede travel and viruses.
    By now almost all Indians except a minuscule unpatriotic bunch would have understood who is responsible for the spread of covid: NEHRU!!!!! The British built airports that made travel faster but Nehru expanded them which facilitated the large scale entry of Coronavirus. Had he been alive now, he should have been sent to Pakistan.
    The last and final reason the move deserves praise is it has encouraged us to take to the Sanskritic mode of transport of our ancestors like palanquins, raths and horses. These would provide a lot of employment to palanquin carriers, charioteers, horse breeders etc' Remember even gods used only raths. Rama rode a rath, Jai Shri Ram. And Krishna drove a rath, Hare Krishna! Being gods they could have created cars and bikes in their yugas. They didn't. Clearly indicating to us the right mode of transport.. Even Kalki, the Vishnu incarnation of the future is expected to ride a horse when most advanced two and four-wheelers are likely to be available then. Why a horse? Why not a Harley-Davidson? Coz the Good Lord wants to give us a message that horses and chariots are the religiously correct mode of transport.
    Hey whit a minute, my mobile is ringing as I write. Hello! What!
    Sedition charge against me for writing all this? Big brothers have been watching as I wrote and Mukeshbhai is angry that I am conspiring against his petroleum firm by encouraging people to take outmoded transport so that nobody buys his petrol.? Oh, God!

    Okay guys, remember greenhouse gases are worse than carbon emissions. And remember greenhouse gases like methane come from the rear of animals like horses. So keep using cars and bikes as a patriotic duty even if fuel prices go up. That way you save the world and the nation from the Greenhouse Effect. And why feat global warming. After all it is not global heating

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