In memory of a daughter!

Nivedi · Nov 20, 2007

When I held you in my arms for the first time,
my eyes were filled with tears.

When you took your first step,
I marvelled at your little feet.

When you spoke your first words,
all I heard was happiness.

When I took you to school on the first day,
I felt the pangs of seperation for the first time.

When you topped your class in college,
I beamed with pride.

When you bought me a gift with your first pay-check,
I treasured it in my heart.

When I gave you away in marriage,
I was elated that you were ready to create your own nest
although I felt you would be seperated from me for long.

Today when I hold you in my lap for the last time,
my eyes are filled with tears.

Forgive me, my child
for pushing you into death's hand.

Forgive me, my child
for the emotional scars.

Forgive me, my child
for all those injuries and wounds.

Forgive me, my child
for letting you into an abusive marriage.

Blondie · Nov 20, 2007

Nivedi,

your poem made me tremble with anguish and fear when i reached the last few lines. Upto the college part fits my emotions with my daughter and was hoping to read the rest to conclude happily. With a heavy heart relise that it is very fitting after reading imemyself's post titled 'shocking'. We can afford to rush thru all matters but not when getting our daughters married. But even a thorough check is not also a guarantee that she will be well taken care of ; the only guarantee is to see that our daughters are emotionally and financially capable to face any type of upheavals in their adult life.

Shobanag · Nov 20, 2007

Nivedi - I, like Blondie was nodding my head and was tearing up - since my daughter just went to college - could relate to everything. But the last part broke my heart. No parent should ever have to be in that predicament. Some of the recent posts in IL about abuse - is so heart breaking. Please, please all moms, let us band together and make sure that our daughters are safe.

karuth · Nov 20, 2007

Mother,

When you held me in your hands for the first time
I was in a totally secure place

When I took my first step
I was in full belief that you could hold me if I slip

When I spoke my first words
I know you will listen whatever I speak

When you left me in school for the first time
I was bold bcos I know you will pick me up

When I topped my class in college
I wanted you to know it first

When I got my first pay-check
I wanted to first spend it for your gift

When I created my own nest in marriage
I feared I would miss you too

Today when you hold me in lap for the last time
it is peaceful for me ,for I am going to have you,only you in my memories

Why should I forgive you?
It all happened.
you were not the one who pushed me in death's hand

Why should i forgive you?
It all happened.
you were not the reason for my injuries and wounds

Why should I forgive 'you'?
for, You only tried to do good to me
You ,than anyone else in this world, always wanted me to be happy,
You, than anyone else in this world, always did whatever sacrifice you can do for me,
You, than anyone else in this world, always had enjoyed my growth and prosperity.

I am in a more safe and peaceful place now, than you can imagine.

The daughter.

Sujimallige · Nov 20, 2007

Nivedi and karuth,this thread is haunting...

Blondie · Nov 20, 2007

From writing.com

Is that you?
Are you there?
I turn to look
Everywhere!

I miss you daily
I look for a sign
I think I see one
But it is only in my mind.

My friends all say
Your are doing so well (at peace in the other world)
But they cannot know
My inner hell. (No peace in this world)

I do not share
I must be strong
They have no clue
They are so wrong

I see your son
He looks like you
His smile, his eyes
It is so true.

You have left this earth
To go onto another
Eight months ago
And still I shudder!

Will the pain get better?
Will I finally accept?
I don’t really think so
But I have no regrets!

I am not a poet
I do not write for acclaim
I merely do it
To help ease my pain.

The words in the parenthesis are mine. Who have left us are fine in the other world but it is the left behind that suffer the torture of what if's and if only's.

Kamla · Nov 20, 2007

Hey friends,

What's up....?! It is dull and dreary outside, that's enough...I am a coward, can't take this .......
But my heart goes out to all those who have suffered and still suffer...I too have seen some suffering...who can escape it...
But now, I will turn towards the light, even if it is only a candle light.......

May friends and love give us all the much needed warmth.......

L, Kamla

Sujimallige · Nov 20, 2007

OMG!!! blondie u too...
The poems r really v gud, but as kamla says it is too depressing...
Maybe the weather is acting on all of us..
Be positive friends,life has lighter shades also.

Nivedi · Nov 20, 2007

Dear ladies,

I am sorry for putting you to pain.

But I was reminded of an incident that took place 17 years ago when I first heard of a dowry death in a close friend's family. The young girl had been pulled out of school, married off into a wealthy home and she was burned to death by her in-laws. The case went on for some years, the in-laws were arrested, some were released and law and procedures took their own time. But what those parents went through was misery. I have also been witnessing many people who think they cannot go back to their parents and choose to suffer. A couple of years back, right here in Atlanta, I had to help a woman reach her parents in India.

And years have passed, our girls are so much smarter now, so much more educated...and still the same thing goes on. Just breaks my heart that the cries of these girls for help sometimes goes unheard.

Blondie · Nov 20, 2007

Dear Suji,

I was thinking more of my mom when i copy/pasted the poem(first few lines). Especially after what members have posted in the thread 'My worst nightmare' . Yes as Kamala has rightly said we should look at the 'light' than at the dark side and find the courage within and from our loved ones.

Its only that i am leaving for india this friday and tend to get very emotional each time, even if it is several times a year.......Its hard to return to ones childhood home without one's parents there. The pain lessens overtime but the memories...............