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In Lieu Of Silent Treatment?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rihana, Jan 23, 2019.

  1. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    Slam cabinet doors
    Walk around looking angry
    Be extra bubbly/cheerful
    Act non-chalant
    Roll eyes/look haughty
    Whatsapp friends and look very happy doing it
    Watch "intelligent" TV shows

    Wow, sounds very petty to write it down like that :-|
     
  2. sneha1985

    sneha1985 Gold IL'ite

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    Wonder how should/would they react if we are the ones giving silent treatment after an argument/fight?
     
  3. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    This is the best!
     
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  4. jskls

    jskls IL Hall of Fame

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    Smart
     
  5. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    Everybody has a different test subject, but giving a brief on the ground rules helps a lot.
     
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  6. lukywife

    lukywife Gold IL'ite

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    When feel like scolding, may be try hugging ? I usually think my husbnad’s positives and my blessings when I’m angry with him. It’s hard but it’s very to easy to forgive husband than other troublemakers. But if it’s something serious, I take him for walk and communicate.
     
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  7. sumalynux

    sumalynux IL Hall of Fame

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    I don't talk.

    Before watsup I used to use post it notes to communicate things. "Dinner on table" "I am leaving early to office" "Buy milk".

    Now I just watsup.
    "Costco list, take kiddo too."
    "Feed kiddo dinner."

    It gets on his nerve when he ask
    " do u need bananas. " I pick up phone n message saying " No need"

    He asks did kiddo finish eating. I pick up phone n message " We both finished eating" :
     
  8. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    I find silent treatment a waste of time. After a few years of marriage I learnt to end up treating the husband like a naughty child and tell him clearly but stiffly why he is being a pain/ unreasonable. And find a solution to the problem.

    If he is trying the silent treatment n me, I talk normally and when he doesn't respond, I make fun of him for his immaturity in not knowing to deal with the situation.

    Like my child says, I just state, is your words and move on! He doesn't do it anymore.

    Also if I'm cross, I insist I need a break and dump all chores on his head. Tell him to figure out meals and such.

    Life is too short to play these ridiculous games or stay hurt, IMO
     
  9. nandinimithun

    nandinimithun IL Hall of Fame

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    Silent treatment hasn't worked good for me, because whenever I feel I need to be silent is the time I feel like there is endless topics to discuss....
    I let him know that I am hurt, if I am.but don't expect him to console me, because I keep myself busy doing work, and my two little girls and books. .
    He doesn't give me silent treatment either, he let's me know what went wrong, and it becomes easy for me, else the endless assumptions.....
    My dh keeps telling that we both aren't perfect, we are humans and we are still knowing a lot about ourselves and in the process end up hurting unintentionally...
    So what matters a lot is love, understanding and trust, so no matter who does a mistake or a fault it becomes ours than mine or his. ..
     
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  10. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    You are darn right that it becomes "ours".... because,
    Annoying is eventually outsourced to the adult children, who may not even live at home.

    We are (or have to become) united in feeling annoyed. Cannot use Silent Treatment.
    And we have to talk about what to do, and work on a strategy.... with different roles for each.
    Good cop- Bad cop role playing is also part of the scheme.
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2019

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