In Laws Treating Husband Really Bad And They Want Us Back Now

@BeautifulSmile,

It is close to selifishness for your inlaws to ask both of you to leave Greencard and your children's future education to move back to India. I am saying close to selfishness because I am sensitive to the elderly people feeling sick alone and I am giving them the benefit of doubt.

My suggestion would be for your husband to take a clean break and travel to India to be with his parents for 4 weeks and come back with the assesssment of their health first hand. This is only to ensure he is not missing anything major and under no circumstances I would recommend both of you to move back to India when you are waiting for greencard.

If you permanently move to India and leave too long in India, you would lose your greencard and I feel you need to hold on staying in the US after getting greencard until at least your children are in the college. Even if you had to travel to India, you can't stay there for more than 6 months in a calendar year. I would recommend getting greencard for your children and allow them to study in the US and apply for the citizenship after 5 years.

Your inlaws should understand the need for the education of their grandchildren. Guilt wrapping the adult children in foreign countries is the usual step by the parents especially when they have other options back in India. Please don't allow that to affect your health or parenting of your children. All the best.

 

Hope you have taken a decision by now. My few cents. This blaming game wont stop even if you move back to India. Then they find another set of issues. Finally, you, your kids and your marriage will suffer and no one will be there to take responsibility. No body is going to give you good DIL certificate. Its poor selfishness thst they cant understand your kids problems. Are they healthy enough to manage their day to day life? If you move and if it affects your kids life, then again blame will be on you.

My suggestion is to give priority to kids and their education. It will be detrimental for them to shift to Indian system now as they are already in high school. You can take a stand like, if your H wants to be with parents he can, but you wont right now. If his parents can move to USA and if it solve this issue ask them or invite them to stay with you for six months to assess. Will your H move to India if your wish to takecare of your parents?

I can understand demands if they are bedridden and no one else there to take care. So, consider all pluses and misuse and take a stern decision that is beneficial for your kids and your future.