In-Laws or Out laws?

Yes, I used to use the supplements before marriage. But the Dumb Husband of mine thinks that affects the reproductive system of a female and throws tantrums like a school going kid pulling a face longer than river nile till I give in.. :-(

And to add to it, MIL vehemently agrees to my taking supplements, making me more scared than DH's nile-faced behavior!!!

Good idea:boo::banana

 

haha...typical male attitude...

during our courtship days, once i blabbered to my then bf (now my DH) that i was in periods. The only reply reply i got from him was 'how come you are not crappy or crying out in pain??' he used to go out of his way to do things for me then but now he knows better......damn i wish i had pains atleast to make him overwork during those times

But when i was suffering from labour pains he was completely different. I think my strong will power of withstanding pains made him feel i could bear any pain. i had vowed to myself that i would never shout out loud but cried a lot without making any noise. The doctor told us that she would give epidural only after 3 cms dilation. i somehow bore through it for 5 hrs wiating for the blessed hour to approach. My DH ... i really should call him dumb husband here ... thought that i was capable of bearing the pain (when i didnt make any noise) and had the guts to suggest me if i was ready to give birth without epidural

thats it....i exploded right then in front on all the doctors and nurses as witness ... i remember screaming out at him saying 'i will kill you suraj ... i will kill you if you talk one more word' ......... poor thing he got quite scared then .... hehe

 

beautifullife - Thanks for the insider information!! Now I will prepare myself from this day to the day I conceive to the day I deliver to shout the right words at Dumb Husband!!! :rotfl

 

Hehehe..My DH seems has got a fair idea of my PMS so when I get angry at him for no reason, he asks me softy if I am really mad at him or just having mood swings! :idea

And I just can't stop laughing! :biggrin2:

 

My DH knows all about my mood swings during PMS and he is always ready for them. If he sees me crying for nothing then he knows its PMS. We dont have kids yet but once I was telling him about labour pain and he was like it hurts more when a guy is kicked in the nuts... I was like 'Kicked in the nuts for 2 seconds, having labour pains for many hrs...yeh its the same dude'. That shut him up.

MIL on the other hand , she had come to our house during my PMS time (newly married) and saw that I was irritable and she was crying that her sons life was spoiled by marrying me (love marriage). I calmly explained to her about PMS and her response was 'Dont lie and make up some stories. I dont have PMS and also none in our family have it, so it doesn't exist'.

 

In that case, do what Eandian suggested. wax first.

Then when the victim is more receptive (promise of furture waxing sessions), then show the downloaded articles.

 

I wonder where these husbands who have no clue about women things but know any hormone control meds can trouble a woman's natural systems. When I was suggested birth control pills as hormonal tabs..he suggested I shud consult another gynaec

 

Even I calmly explained about PMS to DH pretty early, and I find him doing just about anything I ask him to with added 'sorrys' on those days every month. Poor guy, I try my best to keep my cool.

 

Dear Viswamitra,

Congratulations on being nominated for this particular reply of your's by Cutemonster and Riyagun!

Now, I have to thank these two young ladies as if not for the nomination, I most probably would have missed reading your very wise words here and a wonderful thread.

I shall not even address the OP as after posting a 'lopsided' piece, she seems to have ducked and left! Your words and the way you have analyzed her post in an objective way works indeed like a soothing balm on the frayed nerves. Nerves because her post being so one sided has hurt so many young women or just women who have endured enormous stress and heartache at the hands of the same elderly in-laws.

Like you say, there are always two sides to a coin. There may be a few unfair daughters-in law too in the world. Nothing can be generalized. But most definitely we can say that the fate of a young Indian bride entering her in-law's home, especially into a joint family, is already darkened with the overhanging heavy dark clouds. A shame but so it is.

Coming to your posts, it should not surprise you that I look forward to reading them eagerly! Hope you read my fb to your reply in the other daughter-in-law thread?! I wish you and your family only the very best!

L, Kamla

 

My dear friends,

I read this thread through till late into the night yesterday. Let me tell you all that I went to bed with a pretty disturbed state of mind. We are in the new millennium and nothing seems to have changed closer to our home?!:drowning

Okay, our culture is ancient and rich. We have our customs and rituals and India is synonymous with mysticism. We pride ourselves on our giving nature, we believe in giving alms to the poor and respecting our parents, teachers and gurus. We often say how progressive we were when the rest of the world was still eating raw meat! But then what happened? Why is there so much distinction between man and woman? For, all this in-law trouble stems from it. That we treat our women as second class citizens and alas, going by the attitude of the woman in her role as a mother-in-law, she also behaves like a third class citizen!:bonkThis woman hangs on to her ancient belief and says the daughter-in-law should bring in dowry and be a work horse at home. As time progressed and the d-i-l turned into an educated thinking woman, she also asks her to bring in her salary and work those extra hours too..

Even if I ruffle some feathers, it is high time we changed all this. Olden days were golden days, well and good. But olden days are old and we should leave them in the past. Joint family cannot exist anymore..sad but true. If in-laws and children come to a mutual understanding and want to live peacefully since it suits them, it is then their free decision and good for them. But not because it is a custom or a done thing. Like Viswamitra and so many others have pointed out, the Original Joint Family Does Not Exist anymore.

What is so wrong with Old Age Homes? It is going to be the Only way for the future. OAH need not be a horrible place, it can be a very peaceful and a happy way of life for us oldies! We have to remove the stigma attached to it.

Besides girls, I was so touched by so many of your posts. I too have gone through some heartaches in my life due to in-law. But it is now in the past and the pain numbs with time. But I know how violating it is to a young woman who enters her new wedded life with dreams in her heart and stars in her eyes. It is heart wrenching to read the pain and stress some women endured and are still enduring. Inspite of it, I note that many have infused a truck load full of humor into their comments and posts. I simply adore all of you. The way it is going, the distant rosy horizon is not all too far away! :thumbsup

L, Kamla