In-Laws kept all my gold wedding gifts, please help!!

Pooja

Yes you can open a locker in US and put your jewellery in the locker and its insured also. (not like our regular bank lockers in India which are not safe anytime they can be robbed)

One thing here is if your husband is a US citizen and has been here for such long time, I think his family would also have been well off., what is this using your jewellery for the SILs wedding? are they trying to put it as a security for loan/money lending? or they planning to give it away totally on your SILs name?

When your husband says, what will you do with all that gold? then you shoudl have asked him, you would do the same what his parents are doing.

Unless there is real dire for money and without which your SILs wedding would be stopped/shattered, I wont suggest lending any jewellery to such people (they sound more like greedy people who want everything and anything that the DILs has as the new DIL cant say no to them and their sons always dance to their moms tunes by being yes mom guys..)

I understand totally that for a woman , gold is not just mere gold, that too you being a newly wed , can understand that jewellery given during wedding has some emotions and experiences attached to it.

Dont fight but at the same time see what is the situation. Is it bad/worst? or is it just that they want to swallow your jewellery too in the name of this wedding. Confirm that with the info you have and tell your husband, if there was any situation where the family is put in a bad/worst situation you would be the person to sacrifice the jewellery, but when there is enough already and they can manage why even give your jewellery (that too the jewellery used by a new bride who didnt even complete her 1st anniversary of marriage)..handle it with no fights/arguments..but gentle explanation.

 

Do you have a bank account i.e savings/checkings account? If yes, then you can call the same bank and ask for locker facility the rate ranges form 50$ per year to 150$ per year depending on the size of the locker you take.

Or else you can also take locker on your husbands name (as you are living iwth him) and put jewellery in that locker.

 

Seeing all the posts in this thread i am tensed. Though half of my gold is with my mom the other half is with my mother-in-law. She has told me that since we are staying away from in-laws' place, she won't give it to me unless i take it from there. I have never felt that my in-laws are money minded or greedy but i actually don't know whether there'll be hesitation if i take a locker and ask her to give it back. My co-sister told that the gold bangles which my parents had given for her kid when they came to see her, is still kept by my mother-in-law and she has not given it to my co-sister who's staying with my in-laws. i dont know what's the real reason whether my mother-in-law forgot to give it to the baby's mom or my co-sister never asked to give it. But my friends in office tell me it's better to take the jwellery back with me and keep with me itself. To my mother i ask to give some jewellery when i feel like wearing it and she gives me. after use i just give it back because i feel lazy to take responsibility of costly things. My father-in-law sometimes tell us to take a locker and take back everything but it was me who told him that it's better to keep it there rather than me carrying it during our long journey back. i don't know whether i shud take them back or leave it there trusting my in-laws.

 

How about showing a little faith in your inlaws? I think it is too soon to question them on these issues...they might think u don't trust them(which you don't). Very often inlaws do not mean any harm. Maybe you can take it out one set at a time slowly. U have to show tact. Remember ur relation wth ur inlaws is a delicate one. From experience i can tell u the slightest offense to them will hit you badly.

 

yes parvathy, i dnt know abt what'll be the reaction. actually i was never bothered since i don't wear gold that much. so i thought it'll be safe with my mother-in-law. But from the time my co-sister told me that the bangles which my parents had gifted her kid, is also with our mother-in-law and she never gave it to my co-sister who is staying in the same house i was doubtful since normally mothers will have possession of all their kid's gifts. in my in-laws' place it's my mother-in-law who has more control over what to do for the kid rather than my co-sister. but one thing is true that i am more close to my mother-in-law than my co-sister. so i don't want anything bad to happen which will destroy our relationship.

 

Hi,

Your in laws have no right to keep the jewellary given to you by your parents for the wedding.But there is nothing wrong if they keep some pieces of jewellary which was given as wedding gifts from the boy's side friends or relatives.It is the duty of the in laws to reciprocrate and they also have to give expensive gifts when some wedding takes place in their friend's or relative;s house. when they have accepted expensive gifts like jewellary for their son's wedding they also have give back expensive gifts to them.The DIl is not the one who is going to reciprocate.I am sure the girl's parents also do not give all the wedding gifts to the daughter in most houses. They also keep some gifts so that they can use it later to gift it to some body else. These are small things in life to worry about and everyone should try to appreciate the feelings and views of others to create a happy family.

 

old thread revisited so closing it