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In Laws Irritating And Forcing Me To Travel

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Needtobestrong, Apr 30, 2021.

  1. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    The pandemic has brought lot of hardships to people in different forms.
    Already we are having lot of anxiety due to the second wave of Covid and extremely unsafe situation in country.
    There is a delay in vaccination process and recently , vaccine shortage.
    Don’t know when our public will be fully vaccinated and pandemic will end.
    Travel is so unsafe.
    Many times since last year, they made travel plans , but everytime the plans got cancelled or postponed due to Covid surges..
    They wanted to go this month but due to rapid surge and worst Covid situation, they can’t travel and go to their native..
    Since past 1 year plus they’re here only with us and I’m suffering here.
    While they understand the seriousness of the situation, they also are being cranky being in one place indoors and and behaving stupidly.
    Again and again, they keep telling me, next month get the vaccine and after that let us all travel to native place and stay for some months.
    First of all, I’ll get freedom only if they both leave.
    They want us also to accompany them.
    We have no idea when we’ll get vaccines and if there will be herd immunity in India even with vaccine..
    Vaccinations are not available for kids or teens below 18 years.
    Even with vaccine people are getting infected.
    Their home in native place cannot accommodate all of us, no space and no spare bedroom.
    Lot of repairs to be done. No maids available in their area for cleaning. No internet connection there as they kept house locked and sitting here.
    Everytime I’ve visited in the past ( prior to Covid ) ive suffered there .
    There was no space to sleep, no space to keep suitcases, once there was full day power cut and no backup..once there was full day no water and no water tanker available..
    Their native is also a city, it’s not a village..but their area and place where they have Their home is very old construction type and no facilities...

    Such a stupid idea.. they want me to sit there and do all the household chores there and hear their criticisms.
    Always saying again and again how it’s been so long since I visited their native place...
    Saying again and again how many people shifted to their native place s during Covid and why we can’t stay there for some months...
    They’ve gone crazy..
    If I refuse saying that Covid situation is so bad, and how we can travel and it’s so unsafe, they’re telling me, get vaccinated next month and after 2 doses we all will travel and stay there...they’re telling that it’s my duty to visit and stay in their home in native and I have to go there and I can’t make excuses.
    These people have gone crazy.
    I’m damn irritated..
    How do you ladies deal with such stupid requests..we are not able to even go to neighbourhood departmental store to buy essentials or get medical treatment in hospitals. And now this...
     
    anika987 likes this.
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  2. sandhya2020

    sandhya2020 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi, it is matter of life and death. So stand your ground. I'm hearing cases of healthy people in there 20s dying of covid. This is not to create panic, but surely avoiding unnecessary travel is good for our own life as well a social responsibility . Even if they insist, be very strong.
     
  3. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Just say yes to whatever they want. The whole world is going upside down each day. No one knows about the next moment and they are planning too much. Just relax their thoughts by saying yes and stop being panic. No planning is working these days. Pray as much as you can and involve them with your prayers.
     
  4. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Just nod your head and ignore.
    People in India are catching Covid even after being fully vaccinated, so getting the vaccine is not going to be some miraculous event.
     
  5. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    I think it is time you tell them in a diplomatic way that you are comfortable at your place only.

    Telling them what you want respectfully won’t make u a bad person.You have gone through so much and u deserve some happiness.

    If you have school going kids,You can also tell them that they won’t find it comfortable at the native place and they have school and other classes etc and also place blame on husband that he will find it difficult to work,internet problem etc..

    can you convince your husband to explain to them?
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2021
  6. wish4miracle

    wish4miracle Silver IL'ite

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    Are they insisting to travel now during this surge? Do they really see or realise what people are going through? Situation is like we are lucky and blessed to see another day. People who are losing their loved ones will know the real pain. Dying is one thing but living a life knowing we couldnt save our loved one is the worst of all. I saw a video in which a young couple had lost their one year old baby to covid, it was so horrible thay I couldn't even watch the video fully.
    how could they put their lives and u and ur family lives into this unnecessary risk?

    As mentioned here by others, just nod your head to whatever they say and then play the current news now and then to make them realise the situation going on. They will probably stop worrying about some least thing in the world which is your responsibility to live in their native place and see through the situation to know how lucky they are to have food in front of them and a shelter to keep us safe from catching covid. And most importantly u r doing your best to survive this.
     
    anika987, MalStrom and Needtobestrong like this.
  7. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks friends , for your replies...
    i don’t know what has gone into them..we all struggling in this situation and trying to stay safe..
    Their priorities are always wrong..
    Since we are stuck indoors and don’t have proper domestic helps, I always prefer to buy online groceries and keep foodstuffs and kitchen work simple so workload is less..
    Groceries we buy online won’t be same as what we buy from shops. Especially vegetables.
    But they only want fresh vegetables from local vendors in our area..
    With great difficulty I convinced them not to step out to buy from local vendors... by showing attractive offers available in different online platforms.
    They are fed up of being stuck in one place. always want varieties of dishes and want home to be spic and span even when there are no different domestic helps coming in due to restrictions.
    Irritating me with different complaints.
    I know there are bigger problems out there in the real world and I’m putting up with these annoyances.
    At first they were very sceptical about the vaccine when it was launched for senior citizens and were scared to take it.
    I somehow convinced them to take the vaccine and luckily they got themselves vaccinated.
    But it doesn’t look like Covid is settling down anytime soon..
    They’re not so ignorant..they’re educated and sensible people..they are keeping up to date with latest news.. but one year of staying indoors has made them crazy and cranky.
    They think everything will be normal in just a couple of months and then we can travel to native and family deity temples.
    While I really really hope the pandemic ends soon with proper vaccination campaign..
    I also pray to God to keep us all safe and knock some sense into their heads..
    I get headaches due to constant nagging.
    Whenever there is some argument they tell me “ we should have stayed in our native place peacefully” and “ you’re like this because you’re staying in one place always , let’s all go to native place and stay indoors for a change “.
    I have some major health problems and taking medication ...they’re telling me “ come to native and take treatment , there are best hospitals and best doctors there”.
    Actually there are good doctors everywhere. In my place too.
    If they get some common sense, by God’s grace they won’t make any travel plans and irritate me..
    I had a bad headache and acidity as I was irritated so felt like venting.
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2021
  8. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Stay strong. The pandemic in India is not going away anytime soon. It will get worse before it gets better. Can you interest them in any online activities like satsang etc?
     
    Needtobestrong likes this.
  9. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Am just quite worried about your health now..

    these people irritate you and I know it affects you but you are saying u get headaches..

    this is how it starts.then body pain etc will come.

    Take mental breaks in between.Try to keep yourself occupied,watch good movies,go for morning or evening walks and take care of yourself.

    No matter how painful..make sure never to let it affect your health coz at the end of the day,it is only u who will end up suffering.

    Take care dear.
     
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  10. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    I think headaches were due to not eating properly..( I always get headaches I feel I eat less or more gap between meals or due to indigestion or constipation)
    Also I dint sleep properly since past couple of days..I was mentally disturbed as a few of my known neighbours ( not immediate neighbours but in my complex ) and few relatives in our extended circle got Covid and are suffering...
    The hot weather due to summer season too may have contributed.
     
    anika987 likes this.

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