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In Laws Forcing Me To Socialise.

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Needtobestrong, Jan 21, 2021.

  1. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    My In laws are getting bored and frustrated due to this pandemic..seeing the drop in number of cases, they’re under the false impression that pandemic ended...
    We have many relatives in our city..
    Couple of them had invited us home during the festival but that time my In laws had fear of corona so politely declined the invite...
    Recently I’m facing tricky issue with one more relative ..they’re our relative and distant relative of in laws also.....
    Their family in past has conflicts with me and my parents ...as of now everything is cool, and we are in talking terms but knowing their shrewd nature and trouble causing tendency we have polite hi bye relation and wishing each other on festivals that’s all...
    But for some reason the auntie who isn’t much regular in keeping in touch with me, is over friendly with my In laws...she keeps sending them messages and calling them up for every occasion etc...
    Don’t know why she is so close to them, she has nothing much in common with them..apart from being in same city,,...
    Prior to Covid we had socialised, but now I’m reluctant to do so..
    Because recently there was some family fight with in laws , it got pretty ugly...and I’m not sure but she may have played a small part in inciting it...though contribution was less and she wasnt the root cause..I suspect she told some stuff about me to them which they dint know , that irritated them and made the fight worse..I’ve no way of verifying this of course, it’s only a guess...
    I’m not sure of Their whereabouts..the auntie and uncle are both working, their kids are school and college going students...uncle goes to office daily..auntie does online work occasionally goes to workplace and will so go full time to office...kids attended school and college online class but shortly may start going to college...
    They go out a lot, socialise fairly well...travelled to couple of places within city and do commute for non essential errands too...
    They also have 3 domestic helpers I.e 2 maids and a cook...
    Since they’re coming in contact with many people and not exactly home bound, i don’t feel comfortable visiting their home..
    But my in-laws are very impressionable...if someone talks very sweetly and nicely theyre floored by them...
    It will take time for vaccinations to happen for common public in India...and vaccinations are not meant to be used for certain health conditions or babies or toddlers or kid below 12 years...
    In what way are we safe or protected against Covid?
    In laws are nagging me saying how nice it will be to meet them again , and when it will be possible to visit them...
    They’re being behaving stupidly, as if Covid doesn’t exist and as if it’s not a risk to socialise during this time..
    How to deal with such people.?
     
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  2. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Please please put your foot down and be very very strict. Because of this attitude of elders to go and socialize we struggled a lot with this COvid thing.
    Whatever it takes to Make sure you are safe please do that. .
     
  3. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

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    Vaccine rollout has started in India too. So tell your in-laws to wait until you all vaccinate. Can't they wait a few more months for all your wellness? Safety is important than entertainment
     
  4. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Gold IL'ite

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    White lies can help to keep family safe, and extended relatives stay well extended and away.

    We are required to self-isolate for at least 2 weeks when we know we had come in contact with someone who is covid-19 Positive. We can come in contact with any number of covid-19 positive cases. Only our imagination is the limit. Kaamwaali-bai is almost always the most Covid-19 positive !! Sometimes, the regular vegetable delivery boy (a boy can be upto 60 years old in India) takes on that role. There are so many who can play a part.
    Shake a leg.

    [We are a superstitious lot, and do not want to fib about family members, such as saying that a child at home is positive, albeit non-symptomatic. Be careful]
     
    Anusha2917, Rihana and Needtobestrong like this.
  5. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    I agree...really I'm fed up of these 2 people...they get half baked info and behave like they know everything...My FIL is a well educated well informed person...during his walk in compound walking area near flat , he says he sees many kids playing together without mask and so many poeple are leading normal life and cases have dropped in India, so everything is normal , what should we all sit at home it's so boring ..MIl says in sarcastic way that sinpley I'm using corona as excuse...so stupid...2 of in laws known relatives in extended family in 60s age group have become covid positive and died.. one more got covid but due to lesser age, and timely medical attention he recovered after spending few days in the hospital...in spite of knowing this ,still they're behaving like this...theyre educated and well informed people...still...may God strike some sense into them...
     
  6. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    They have really gone crazy... heard there is a CoWin app for covid vaccination...they're reluctant to register for vaccine after seeing the news reports of adverse reactions ...my husband is also not letting them to register though he can easily do it for them..
     
  7. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Few months back when covid was at its peak, we had many cases in our society...few of them were known people in nearby flats.. so we used that as a reason to decline a festival gathering invitation saying that we have contact with them.. but that time everyone had fear of covid...now they have become irrational and bored and frustrated...
     
  8. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Gold IL'ite

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    No excuses...
    Don't be an apologist when it comes to protecting your family. Behave like a lioness when some random person wants to put your cubs in jeopardy. Don't allow anyone to enter your threshold without a vaccination certificate that is 3 weeks old (it takes time to develop antibodies).

    In America, even Jehovah's witnesses have taken the precaution of not knocking on any doors, lest they be shot for trying to endanger lives of residents. A perfectly legal thing in a country with 1.2 guns per person.

    In the old days of smallpox epidemics, people would pay attention to doors that have a bunch of Neem Leaves hanging from above. Those homes would have someone afflicted with the infection, and people would stay away, and cross the street to walk on the other side the next time around. For Covid-19, there are Door-stickers one can buy and place on doors. Similar to "Beware of Dog" signs advising the postman to watch out.

    [ Hint: make your own custom door-sign and post outside the door.]
     
    Mistt, Anusha2917 and Needtobestrong like this.
  9. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Vaccination certificate? Waiting for this to happen..when common public in India gets the vaccine I'll be relieved...
     
  10. paru123

    paru123 Silver IL'ite

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    Why not use this opportunity to benefit you. Tell your inlaws that they can go there but they will have to stay there for 1 month. This way you can have some peace for yourself. Tell them travelling is not so good during covid times so let them stay there to their heart's content.
     
    shravs3, MalStrom and Needtobestrong like this.

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