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In laws for short visit.

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by redbird1, Jul 25, 2012.

  1. redbird1

    redbird1 Bronze IL'ite

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    Friends,

    My in laws are in US for a 3 mnths visit. Not to mention MIL is very manipulative.:twisted: FIL stuck to tv serials, he is good though. DH is loving and caring, rarely speaks up for me. My DS is 2 yrs. He is very attached to his grand parents, as I joined work after 6 mnths of maternity leave they have been taking care of him at home in India.

    When I was working I used to make breakfast, lunch, baby food. tidy up the kitchen, load the clothes in the washing machine, and run to catch the 7 am bus. Since I could not cope up with household chores, kid and also my husband had to come to US, I quit my job, when kid was a year.

    MIL made my kid have a practice of taking day time naps( 3 naps he used to take before his 1st yr). so that she can put him to sleep, go to T.nagar (shopping area in Chennai), and returns before I come home from office. :hide:

    Now my kid has turned 2, she is forcing him to have day time naps, which turns vain. He is a very playful boy. wants to play always irrespective of the time. During nights she makes my kid sleep with her. I too left initally, but now my DS wants grand parents with him always, first thing after he wakes from sleep he says " thatha paati" (calls grand parents).

    I am scared of the way, how he is going to adapt once they leave to India.

    Am planning to put him in pre-school once they leave as a way to divert him. Will this work? Any suggestions??
     
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  2. eandian

    eandian IL Hall of Fame

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    Kids will adapt within 2 days after they leave.

    My dd was very attached with her grandma. But after 2 days, she is back to normal.

    Kids by this age know who are temporary caregivers and who are permanent care givers. They know a lot more than we give them credit.

    Day care immediately after they leave might be stressful and scary for the kid....separation anxiety will be high. He cannot be separated from grandma and introduced to an new environment away from mom also.

    Just spend entire time with him for 2 to 3 days after they leave and have a couple of new toys secretly at home and introduce when he cries very hard for them.
     
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  3. crazymom

    crazymom Gold IL'ite

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    If you are planning to put him in daycare then start about a month before they live. You can start with 2 -3 hours a day. Also instead of putting him in daycare on Monday start during a mid week, the transition will go smoothly. Don't worry, he will be fine.
     
  4. MadhuSharmila

    MadhuSharmila IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Redbird,

    I too faced a tough time when my mom left to India a month back. DD was very much attached to her and started crying in the nights seeing her missing. I took a week's leave from work and was with her. Luckily for us, my in-laws joined us in a week's time. That was a diversion for her.

    The one week in between was very hard that her anxiety resulted in fever. We took to our neighbour's place where she can play with kids of her age so that she gets diverted. Kids will adapt slowly though they ask for them. So don't worry. Be with him for some time so that he feels comfortable and then put him to a pre-school.
     
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  5. veeramachaneni

    veeramachaneni Platinum IL'ite

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    I agree with CrazyMom. It is better to start day care a month before. Usually kids fall sick once they start going to day care in the initial days.

    It will be helpful if your IL's stays with you when the kid is sick. You don't have to take leave from your work.

     
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  6. anahita5

    anahita5 Gold IL'ite

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    He might give you some trouble, but kids are very adaptable at 2. His naps will become less frequent. They sleep for about 12 hrs give or take. My kid is not a good sleeper.
     
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