In-laws during Pregnancy - Need Suggestions

Dear Rimjhim,

Congrats on your pregnancy dear....Have healthy diet,be happy.

Am not good in suggesting,i just want to say
enjoy this wonderful period,donot take stress try to ignore..its not simple as said..when i am reading your post its replicating of my own..stress is not at all good it impacts on bp fluctuation..try to do breathing excercise.
Say to your dh firmly ,if he wants healthy baby donot make you feel stress .if possible tell him to make you happy.everything is possible,you just need to make your mind.Don't worry dear everything will be fine. My heartfull wishes and prayers that you deliver a full term healthy baby .

 

That is done to make sure they prick the love,romance bubble that made their darling son choose a girl against their wishes.They just wanted to put salt in your kheer....:coffee

As for ils coming for delivery....haven't you left it too late for changes?You should have raised this issue long time back...you had nine months to do it.What are the alternatives? Are your parents ready to come? Are you allowed /willing to travel to parents place? Are you ready to to raise hell and fight with dh to stop them?You really haven't left many options dear.

If you do have some options...do suggest and we can try and work with those.

If not...then I suggest you take few steps.
1)Get a full time maid for the first few months.You are a working women and you deserve the rest when you are having a baby ...you have earned the right .....you don't have to ask.Just go ahead and keep a full time maid.
2) Keep some one to cook.....don't bother about what mil says...she doesn't like cooking and she doesn't like your cooking(you shouldn't be cooking either ways)
3) Tell husband to take leave for the first few days till the routine is set with the helpers.He should make sure that your mil doesn't try to derail.
4) Prepare your husband.Tell him you want complete rest for 2-3 months so that both you and baby are healthy.Tell him you do not want mil to work hard ...so you have kept a maid and cook. Delegate work to paid helpers.....they will work according to what you want.Don't worry about money and if any one raises the issue......tell them if a maid and cook can be sponsored for sil's delivery...why can't you do it with your own hard earned money.
5) Stay in your bedroom and rest. During this time ,think only about yourself and your baby...if any one wants anything done...tell the maid to do. If it can't be done...let it be.
6) Enjoy your baby and ignore the side show. Keep your eyes and earsclosed to what is happening in the rest of the house. Keep some calming music ready in your bed room.Play it at low volume...good for you and the baby.
7)Keep dry fruits and fresh fruits in your bedroom.Snack on them when ever you feel low on energy.
8) Keep some one to come and massage you and baby if doctor permits.
9) Encourage your husband to help you and the baby....if he does....praise him for it and show your appreciation in words and smiles.
10) If health permits....try to be presentable.Sometimes women tend to let it all go....Be clean and smell nice.
11) Tell husband before hand that you want your husband to continue be in your bedroom with you and the baby. It will help with bonding as a family.(Sometimes mils tell their son to sleep some where else because their baby's(not your babygigglingsmiley) good night rest will be disturbed)Tell your husband ...this is his chance to be a part of the baby making process....his contribution with having a baby.
Best wishes dear......calm down and try to enjoy the last few days of your pregnancy.Wishing you all the best .hugsmiley

 

Hi ,

Congratulations!

I understand your worries. I liked YM's suggestions. But is there anyway to avoid them during this period?
With in-laws liek that (i had the same issues) does not matter how many arrangmenet you makes forur self for physical work, u end up stressing urself mentally. And our hormones is not much help during this time anyways. Unless u can really take 'donot care' approach, then it is a different story.

Try talking to ur DH and have ur parents instead. If need to tell, say it is a custom or whatever. Do not complaint about PILs but show u will be worried with work they will have to do and then u will end up doing it because of that worry, and baby's health may be impacted. Rather have ur parents.

 

Everytime I see such posts, a chill runs down my spine. Please be brave and step your foot after deep thought instead of acting on impulse ! That's all I can say.

 

Rimjhim,

In which month you are in..Since you are working I expect you will be in office for atleast 8-9 hours in a day, When you come back, go to your room and take rest saying yo are very tired and Dr asked you for rest. If you think you will have load for cooking ..there is a way to avoid that. you can say you are unable to bear smell of cooking (even if you do not have any problem). I hope your MIL will understand even if she doesn't tell in front of everyone. No one other than you can verify this ..even doctor because it's defer from person to person and pregnancy to pregnancy. If you MIL want to eat, she will cook herself.