In-laws during baby delivery?

Happysoul1234 · Jan 1, 2010

As all the ladies here have said, MIL for delivery is a BAD BAD idea. If you want to avoid all the suffering we have had to endure you either need to convince your husband with the points you have made above which are very logical or stand up for yourself and fight the fight yourself.

If you choose the former, don't fight with him or criticize his mom, just say

1. with a new baby you will not be able to meet her needs while she visits and that's why you prefer your mom to be here. no need to specify what her needs are. if he is a smart guy he should know.

2. you are giving birth therefore your wishes/comfort should take priority.

3. the baby will not be reactive in the first couple of months. just eat sleep poop. your mil will enjoy her time with the baby when he/she is a few months old.

4. you will be surviving on 2-3 hours of sleep the first few months. your hormones and emotions will be out of whack. if you do or say something while she is here, he will have to take responsibility for the consequences and not put the blame on you.

5. does your dh have sisters. who took care of them at the birth of their kids? if it was your MIL then you can say that I also want my mom.

If this is not working and you have to stand up and fight go ahead and do it. one or two days of fighting is better than having to endure a MIL for a few months after your delivery.

In my case, I have 2 sils and for both of them my mil went to help in their deliveries. she was of very little help as per her own daughters but she still threw a fit when we called my mom for my delivery . thankfully my dh had the good sense to get my mom here so I was able to tell her off that it was her son's decision to get my mom here :cheers

ottawagirl · Jan 5, 2010

Thanks for the suggestions ladies!
Somehow my DH who sees me with morning sickness and weak body all day probably feels obligated to do some for me. So he stood up to his parents and said that 'it's beneficial and also she will be comfortable if her mom comes for the delivery. You can guys come later on when she starts going to work'. But the prob is now now my BIL who pretty much acts like another MIL for me has ignited some thoughts for my ILs, so now the story is going like this: he will make his parents visit him over summer, so they can be with him and fly to our place immediately when the kid is born and stay for a month. Now it gets messier, as my parents will also be there during that time.
How come we live so many thousand miles away from them but still they manage to confuse and make our life a misery from such a distance? Always a mystery.:rant

swapnam · Jan 21, 2010

If your in-laws wants to see the baby first ask them to come 10 days or so before delivery not before that.

actually we don't need any help before delivery we need help only after delivery.After delivery any way you will be taking rest and they will help out.

swapnam · Jan 21, 2010

having parents with us during delivery will be good

akruti9 · Jan 21, 2010

Ottawa girl,

Do you have any siblings in US. If yes then send your parents there for that one month when you are inlaws are with you. It's not at all a good idea for you to have both parents under one roof specially when your inalws side are problematic. I get fevers with tension whenever my parents and my inlaws meet so I suggest you not to make that mistake. How rude is your BIL what is his problem if you get your mOm for delivery. In my case my Sis In law is like that who treats herself like my second MIL. I can understand what you are going through but dear if you are calling your parents. call them for few months before so that you can enjoy with them and then after delivery you only sleep and sleep don't do any stuff. If your inlaws compalin about that then tell your DH that this is the reason that I asked them not to come. he will also understand it.Anyways All the best dear...

ottawagirl · Jan 23, 2010

Thanks for your responses ladies!
Unfortunately I don't any siblings here in the US, so my parents have nowhere to go..if they comes in when my parents are there, iam sure they would demand good bed and my mom has to cook for bunch of people..not to mention my parents are 10yrs older than my in-laws and my in-lwas are good eaters too that demand good lunch and tiffin..Hopefully all goes under control and my unborn kid does some magic!