1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

In Laws Call Every Night During Initimate Moments.

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by thegirlygirl, Jul 7, 2022.

  1. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    13,370
    Likes Received:
    24,115
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Male
    @thegirlygirl,

    Who with the right frame of mind would call especially every night to a newly wedded couple? The MIL should know better than that. Even a husband has a duty not to entertain calls in the night when he owes exclusive time with his wife to build bond. It is important even to have time to converse and learn about each other and not giving time for that is disastrous. It would be best to change this daily reporting and the need to communicate everything happening on a daily basis.

    You both should leave for an undisclosed location leaving his phone at home. You both need exclusive time to have a perfect understanding and build a bond and it takes time. Any interference in this initial period should be avoided.

    The following might help if you were to stay at home due to work or other schedules:

    1) Put both your phones away after 8 or 9 p.m. every night and return all calls only in the morning hours.
    2) Your husband should be frank with his mother that he needs time with you and this daily reporting is too much for him to handle.
    3) You can demand exclusive time with him and even ask him to take a break from work to spend time together.
    4) Your husband can send text messages or voice mail to his mother that everything is okay in the evening and tell her that he would call her in the morning and there is no need for her to call him back.
    5) You can travel to a hill station and tell his mother that there is not much of a reception in that area.

    Frankly, reporting everyday is interference in personal life and should never be encouraged by your husband. Slowly, he should get out of video calls and only make phone calls or texts.
     
  2. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    11,640
    Likes Received:
    12,463
    Trophy Points:
    615
    Gender:
    Male
    op shoul text message and oral as well with a question that reads as under:
    “Dear mother in law during intimate moments in your time did you welcome and enjoy answering calls from your mother in law. Yes there were no phones as we have today. But in some other manner did u enjoy speaking to your mother or dad while the “going” was to begin?”

    That will give op the much needed relief!
     
  3. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    5,952
    Likes Received:
    11,414
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    @thegirlygirl dear,

    I can see your frustration very well, and looking at your OP deeply I guess the frustration is beyond the phone calls.

    1. There are parents, including mine have a habit of calling their children (who stay away from them) on a daily basis to check their well-being etc... For parents like my mom, their entire day depends on this one phone call. So, we must understand this and make sure how best we could accommodate this into our life style.
    2. Usually young people do not hit the bed at 9.00 pm. At least no one in my immediate circle.
    So, the assumption from the other end may be that you guys were still watching TV, or doing other chores, but not yet in the bedroom by the time they ring you.
    3. It is your H's duty (in his capacity as a son) to inform his parents of the "new timing" of daily calls. Either he can call them sharp at 9.00pm while driving to home or from the office or whatever, but balancing both his duties as H and son.
    4. If he isn't capable of handling this smoothly, you may help him with ideas. Creative ideas to cut the calls short, shift the time 30 mins ahead, so that your 'couple time' isn't interrupted.
    5. In any case, if your gut feeling strongly tells you that your MIL is calling to ruin your intimate times, then put your H's phone on silent for a 30mins- 1 hr time when you are in bed. Not on vibrator mode, but absolute silent mode and keep the phone away (so that, it won't blink & it won't ruin the mood).
    After that, he can return the call, and slowly make it a habit of calling them after the business.
     
    KashmirFlower and Thyagarajan like this.
  4. sociallifein30s

    sociallifein30s Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    387
    Likes Received:
    317
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    I think it is simpler if they say they are attending some online class or an early meeting with Indian counterparts for a few days and if they can talk to mom at 8PM instead? You dont have to really say "I am intimate with my wife so dont call me". MY mom couldnt sleep without having that one call with me every single day. Did I reach home fine, all ok with me, did I eat dinner etc and if she is in a chatty mood maybe more. But I used to have some trainings in India 9-11 PM EST which I enrolled so I told her that and we finished the call earlier. Sometimes when she was busy, I called her after my sessions and late into the night. as if she was my boy friend or soemthing. ha ha.
    Some people have that with their parents ya ...

    We living so far is enough of a tough task for them. Not being able to take calls also is another thing.
     
    Janaki696 and Amica like this.

Share This Page