I have this direct question in case if anyone don’t want go through this below over view I have given for your basic understanding of what my concern is. “How to deal with in laws who are mean to you but behave very good and have cordial relation with co sister in law. They might be wantedly behaving this way to make us feel bad, hurt or it just might be my feeling as well to fell little jealous. I can put a lot of things here, which can fill almost 20 pages but I’m trying to keep it short as much as possible. So I have come from a big family, where daughter in laws are received well and made feel comfortable ( by being jovial and make sure they are not mistreated) and spl. With the responsibility, gradually they had an option to openly say whatever they feel ( even in satirical way where in every families usually happen). I have inspiration from some of strong ladies, are all rounders and handle everything with ease. When I got married, I wanted to be that perfect daughter in law and be that good new family member. But before marriage itself there was little mis understanding between my mother(sensitive) and mother in law (egoistic and dominating). They made some hurtful comments on dowry we gave( not much dowry given even though wholesome amount was given) . My mom became upset in front of MIL . My MIL ego hurted, started behaving with full attitude which later has not left a single opportunity to humiliate my parents. Even by creating some issues and making drama. Now after marriage my husband stayed in another place due to work. Right after marriage I had to stay at my MiL house for couple of months. From there it started, I used to go to work( very hectic and used to feel tired ). She used to be very serious 24/7, used to hurt a lot with her harsh language or degrade. Regular things are understandable but used to put remarks on my character making false allegations that I have a eye on Jwelers, sarees. I listen what she talks to others or her daughter. Arre I don’t have minute to relax( work at office and then work at home), why I even bother about these pity things. Her way of thinking was completely different from normal people, in regular conversation she literally finds or makes up 100 things. If I wake up 5 min late than usual or do any work late , I used to literally shivered. What ever topic starts it always ends blaming my parents and giving lectures for hours. I used to not have a chance even to say no that I did not do it or that’s not my intension. Even saying that she used to say like, you are talking against me, how dare you kind off They didn’t even leave me during my pregnancy. Hurted my emotions, with words, actions gave me lot of stress during the time where care and support is given. Right after delivery this time even bigger clashes between my husband, in-laws and parents. Humiliated them, made them suffer in front of me. Where I did have strength to bare the pressure or stress. By gods grace, due to some families intervention, the direct torture has reduced. The way they behaved from 96% reduced to 62%. With all these I didn’t have good opinion or interest on my in laws or family. I used to feel sad to my myself and used to think may be they will realize their mistake once next daughter in law comes because no one can deal with their humiliations and ill words and behavior. But in contrast, May be with all the experience they learnt from my case and my brother in law not being financially independent. In the fear of losing her, my in laws in fact are being lot better with her. There are not much issues created her and being good with her mostly ( my brother in law being little caring too). The thing is they are giving show off and trying little avoid us or started blaming and giving names to us. Which has increased lately. The other reason being we stay abroad, no one earning in my husband family except my husband. There are always quarrels and discussions about money. My husband also feel like they are bothered about money but no concern about my husband or us. They might be thinking their younger son and daughter-in-law takes care of us and why to importance to us, instead make us piss off and portray us bad and give the all their money to younger one. This is making me feel bad and jealous some times. If they want to make some decision, why to portray us bad and do all drama. Thinking that why I have suffered being good . Nothing happens to those who are rude and mean or show attitude from beginning. Sometimes I feel it was like always I listened to their blames, defend my self, leave it and talk normally. Is this what making them to always dominate me and giving troubles from there end. I reverse if I have only created problems and do regular DIL quarrels with them they would have been not in this stage taking advantage of patience and silence all the time. Now the question is how to deal with all these negative emotions. TBH I thought karma will teach them but somewhere I’m not calm down with these new changes and at the same time I’m feeling am I losing the relations? How to deal with it, that is be good but still establish boundaries.