In-law's are scaring me.. help

joshiavs2003 · Jan 15, 2008

Dear Shilpa,

It's really bad to know what all is going on with you... but remember its your life and you should have the full rights to make things go according to you. Think positive and be positive.... and it is up to you what you want in your life such hard life where there is no value of your feelings for anyone .... Or, a new life where things can be according to you. Also one more thing I woudl like to convey you is that you should be grateful to God that you have NO KID SO FAR otherwise the LIFE WOULD BE HELL for YOU & AS WELL AS FOR THAT LITTLE ONE......

TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND CALMLY & PEACEFULLY THINK OVER about yourself (without thinking about anyone .... yr. parents or in-laws) and TAKE INDIVIDUAL DECISION WHAT YOU WANT FROM YOUR LIFE.... I am sure you would get the right way ........................ because then God will help you to choose the right path.........

God bless you and be brave.......Do not end your life this way ......... and time is a great healer....

Take care and make decision fast.... as there is lot & lot to do in ones life........
Sunita

shilpa987 · Jan 25, 2008

Dear all,

Firstly I wanted to say thank you to everyone who have give me so much support in the postings here... Things have gone really bad... my In-laws had gone to the high court which insured that I would not be allowed back in my matrimonial house.. They have shown that my husband and them have no relation. My husband is renting not so far away from their house. We were given counseling in the CAW cell and he states that he does not wish to be with me.. no only that he has filed for divorce and also maintenance to harass me further. knowing that i have no earning...

My sister in law who is the devil in all this has made sure that my husband does not even talk to me.. and all I get is abuses at times when he see's me or rings me. He tells me that im unlucky.. and things which I can never believe he could say to me... in his divorce he has stated that I was cruel and I have a unstable mental state. in his maintenance application he states things which are so untrue... his father came alone side my husband in the cell and he abuses me as well and tell me to leave his son a lone.. Not only that he gestures towards me were sickening.. he told me to get out of his son's life and that god will punish me - that i was a cunning women and that he wants his son to get married... that my marriage was nothing but a drama...

My FIR was registered but im getting no relief..as they had already prepared complaints two years back.... I feel so angry and so upset... I cant believe the games they have played... I really cant believe what they have done.. how can I have been so stupid in thinking few things.. and how can a man do this to a women?

What im confused about is... i dont understand there behavior? I have not done anything that could possible make them do what they are doing.. so why? Please can someone tell me ?

Im confused

Shilpa

Malyatha · Jan 25, 2008

Shilpa,

Agree to the divorce. You are better off divorced than with this man and with these inlaws.

I don't know the law very well, but he won't get any maintainence if he is employed and earning more than you. Since you say you are unemployed, I doubt he would get anything from you.

Why are they doing this? Because they have sold their souls to the devil, that's why. Good riddance to very bad rubbish. Think of this as a BAD dream and move on. Good luck!

hasita · Jan 25, 2008

Dear Shilpa,
I read your entire story only today, and now also read your latest post.
I actually did not want to write, as all suggestions given by other wise IL'ites are practical and wise and have been of help to you.

Firstly, congrats on being brave and moving out way back in December. You did the right thing. :hatsoff

Secondly, we all can see this entire situation objectively, but to you, it is a subjective matter as it is happening to you. So your "practical" decisions will be hesitant, as they will tend to be from the heart, rather than from the mind. (Please read a short post by "ria2006" posted today, it is good).

As for your in-laws, if they are filing for divorce, I think it is a blessing in disguise for you. It may not seem to you like that as of now, but seeing things objectively, you are better away from such people. Even your hubby is not able to stand up for himself amongst them, so though he may like you personally, he is not ready to take charge of his own life. What will he stand by you for the rest of your life together, if it were to happen?

This case is nothing but plain, simple "GREED" at it worst.

You owe it to yourself to be out of this mess and move on in life. Life is Beautiful! Remember that.

You mentioned now, "I can't believe the games they have played." - that is it! They are only playing games. You said it yourself. Games which are causing you and your parents sleepless nights.

Such people are the worms of our society, eating away at its roots.:thumbsdown: :bang:

I mainly want to mention regarding the FALSE Accusations they are hurling at you: My hubby also had a bad time during his first marriage case - he says the lawyers make you say all these things just to make the case go faster (depending on how you want it to proceed). My hubby refused to do it, but the girl's side did so.
So rest assured, these are just things the 'vakils' pick up from their unwritten "books" and tell the person to say in court or at the police-station. It really is a game.

Please be brave and stand up for yourself.
I guess others may be able to give advice reg. what legal steps to take.
best,
hasita

Jaynat · Jan 25, 2008

Dear Shilpa

Came across your thread only today. All of the ILites have already given you excellent advice.

I just wanted to tell u that one of my very close friends was in a very similar situation like yours and she too was literally forced out of her inlaws house by their behaviour and all this Chanting and stuff. And worse situation her husband was abroad so it was easier for the inlaws to corrupt his mind using all their powers and perverted minds. And the poor girl hardly lived for 14 days with her husband. Now she is well settled in life happily remarried and living peacefully.

Just wanted u to know that there are others too who have been in similar situations and have come out of it with dignity and leading a good life now. The unhappiness and confusion that u experince now will surely give way for hope and light one day. All things take time to heal. And so give it time. Agree to that divorce and lead a life for yourself. Get settled in a career of your choice. There is so much to life than being just married and being a wife.

It might be a scary and disheartening situation in the beginning but slowly as u settle down into other things which give u peace of mind , fulfilment and satisfaction, u will find the courage and strength to seek out the good things in life.

Take care and may u find the strength to achieve better and good things in life

Jay.