In-law's are scaring me.. help

I hope you make the right decission, may god be with you...

But please make sure you report your husband and his family to local police, so that they cant ruin another girls life... these ppl need to be behind bars.


All the best
Rose

 

evolve and do not fall into vindictive trap.....a breakdown of marriage is not a crime....so where does the police fit in....they havent done much to warrant police action....

this case require sychological counselling for the whole family...not the police....
i think we should refrain from recommending any action that will cause shilpi so much agony in vindictivenness...
hey whatever happened to forgving and moving on...

 

Hello shilpa
It is good that u have come to ur parents home ,but why u r thinking of going back to so bad people ,Think if ur husband packed ur bags that means he wanted u to go ,why again plead & go .Let ur emmotions not rule . U shud start thinking abt a carrier, Marriage & remaining married to such aperson is not the only destny.
If any talks start from ur husband side state clearly ur views & conddtions of not living with ur nlaws & in that house if he knows in his heart that his parents behaviour was disgusting & if he loves u & and if he is man enough to rise to need of situations than only u shud think of any recouncilation otherwise in my opinion u shud have ur own life in ur own way & in dignified ways. Best of luck.

 

Hmm.. thats as cynical as they have been behaving so far.
My suggestion. Go to District court or High court and file the case for stating your IL family are unduly superstitious and trying to damage your married life.
even if you go to police. what are your choices?

You either have to accuse things on them and then police enjoys bribe from both side for harrassing other side.

They have asked divorce on these reasons. I would say file for divorce and FREE yourself. I can totally understand your family's agony over it. No one wants such thing to come in family. But bad times are best fought with united strength and patience.

These police accusation of theirs will not be treated valid in court. I am guessing they have some relatives in police. Else no one will record such a baseless case that a single woman was torturing five adults in their own home. How stupid it sounds..
Believe me, you and your family will get instant relief if they talk to good family lawyer.
Normal people just get too scared once any such casuality happens. So you need to give strength to your parents too. And Fight this menace out of your life.

One thing I am confused about , why you still want to know reason of your husband not staying with you. I think its high time you understood that you have been cheated by some fraud family. earlier you get out this, better this is for you.

Best wishes

 

we want you to be happy and take your decision wisely...whatever you take....

in police there are son many false complaints that even genuine people are harassed for 5-6 months with dates every week....

god bless you....your deicsions are totally yours...keep sharing your expereinces that will lessen the pain

 

hi shilpa dear,
i went thru all ur posts & suggestions given by very intelligent ladies .
u reminded me my past life .i was also married once ,cheated by in-laws ,did the same thing -came back to my parents , started my studies again ,meanwhile parents searched for a boy and now after 12 years a m happily married again with a sweet 10 yr old son.what i want to tell u is NO SITUATION IN UR LIFE IS END OF LIFE .( unless u r dying)
i also went thru a lot of agony and pains .but remember dark days means u r going to see light .so dont get disheartened.
Now what to do ?-first of all have confidence in urself .-be happy .person was never worth for u .
Then leave him .keep him as away as possible .-u will forget him soon .
keep urself busy -start ur studies remember its never too late .
u r very lucky that u dont have an child .life is now easy to re start.dont worry HAR RAAT KI SUBAH ZAROOOOOOOOOOOR HOTI HAI. & U KNOW TIME IS THE BEST HEALER
BUT START UR CARRIER THAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN FUTURE.
All the best !

 

Hi Shilpa,
Am sorry to hear of your problem this late.....But congrats, you got out !
I was so anxious for you when I read your thread that I registered right away just to reply to your thread, so hope you read it sometime though its really delayed.....

I just wanted to say......RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

It remind us that sometimes its a WICKED, WICKED WORLD and man is the most evil animal there is.

A few things really scared me - 1. servant's warning - this is VERY worrying/distubing
2. weird priests & chanting - extremely strange
3. you are begining to doubt your sanity and mental health becoz of THEIR weird behaviour

I know we are not qualified to tell you what is the best course for you to take, but whatever you have said is VERY VERY WORRYING AND DISTURBING to anyone who reads it. You sound quite normal and reasonable and I'm sorry this had to happen to you....but your life and your sanity are not worth risking for a husband who is not quite sure he wants to stand up for you and support you over his parents...esp when he knows that these things they are doing are veryu wrong...

As for seeing your parents cry, believe me, they would be more heartbroken if something terrible had happened to you - dowry deaths, severe burns/cylinder bursts(?) & severe emotional isues are much worse for them to see as parents and are a hard reality that we read about EVERYDAY in the papers. GREED is an evil thing and turns men to unspeakable depths, so its not your fault, but perhaps an unfortunate coincidence that this happened to you...but its not the end of the road, life can only get better for you......HOW? ......
1. If your husband really loves you as much as you clearly ove him, he will realise that he needs to stand up for you & he WILL COME BACK TO YOU - If not, then his family clearly has more influence over him & things would steadily have gotten worse for you. If he comes back DO NOT AGREE TO GO BACK TO LIVE WITH HIS PARENTS tsk- agree to live seperately with him only after discussing all issues openly with your parents & family present also.
2. You are now in a safe and protected environment - away from the possibility of physical harm..you can always seek medical help or counselling to help you figure out what really is happening...only good can come from this step
3. to your parents you are the most important and precious gem and you will be saving them from a whole lot of sorrow by getting out of a potentially dangerous situation - one in which you were definitely scared, unhappy and anxious
4. life is meant to be lived happily - we all deserve a good life - just pick up the pieces, get help & get on with your life...if there's life after death, there's life after divorce - easier said than done I agree, but you are ALIVE....God will help you find a way out, please be brave and strong.
5. you are out of very unhealthy environment for your mental peace, balance & equilibrium...a lot of dowry cases or hostlie in-laws have literally driven the bride mad and then filed for divorce on insanity grounds!

Lastly, I would like to suggest to you that you discuss with your parents and/or lawyer& depending on the situation, and send a letter to the police reporting that if something happened to you, your inlaws should be held responsible - but pl discuss with your family as it is an extreme step.( and of course, if you plan on living with your hubby again)
Congrats on taking the first brave step & getting out of your inlaws place! Dont think that they've won as they wanted to drive you out & remarry their son - YOU'VE WON COZ YOU ARE IN CONTROL NOW AND ITS YOUR LIFE TO LIVE WELL.
BEST OF LUCK!

Concerned,
Socccermom

 

Hi Shilpa,
Am sorry to hear of your problem this late.....But congrats, you got out !
I was so anxious for you when I read your thread that I registered right away just to reply to your thread, so hope you read it sometime though its really delayed.....

I just wanted to say......RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

It remind us that sometimes its a WICKED, WICKED WORLD and man is the most evil animal there is.

A few things really scared me - 1. servant's warning - this is VERY worrying/distubing
2. weird priests & chanting - extremely strange
3. you are begining to doubt your sanity and mental health becoz of THEIR weird behaviour

I know we are not qualified to tell you what is the best course for you to take, but whatever you have said is VERY VERY WORRYING AND DISTURBING to anyone who reads it. You sound quite normal and reasonable and I'm sorry this had to happen to you....but your life and your sanity are not worth risking for a husband who is not quite sure he wants to stand up for you and support you over his parents...esp when he knows that these things they are doing are veryu wrong...

As for seeing your parents cry, believe me, they would be more heartbroken if something terrible had happened to you - dowry deaths, severe burns/cylinder bursts(?) & severe emotional isues are much worse for them to see as parents and are a hard reality that we read about EVERYDAY in the papers. GREED is an evil thing and turns men to unspeakable depths, so its not your fault, but perhaps an unfortunate coincidence that this happened to you...but its not the end of the road, life can only get better for you......HOW? ......
1. If your husband really loves you as much as you clearly ove him, he will realise that he needs to stand up for you & he WILL COME BACK TO YOU - If not, then his family clearly has more influence over him & things would steadily have gotten worse for you. If he comes back DO NOT AGREE TO GO BACK TO LIVE WITH HIS PARENTS tsk- agree to live seperately with him only after discussing all issues openly with your parents & family present also.
2. You are now in a safe and protected environment - away from the possibility of physical harm..you can always seek medical help or counselling to help you figure out what really is happening...only good can come from this step
3. to your parents you are the most important and precious gem and you will be saving them from a whole lot of sorrow by getting out of a potentially dangerous situation - one in which you were definitely scared, unhappy and anxious
4. life is meant to be lived happily - we all deserve a good life - just pick up the pieces, get help & get on with your life...if there's life after death, there's life after divorce - easier said than done I agree, but you are ALIVE....God will help you find a way out, please be brave and strong.
5. you are out of very unhealthy environment for your mental peace, balance & equilibrium...a lot of dowry cases or hostlie in-laws have literally driven the bride mad and then filed for divorce on insanity grounds!

Lastly, I would like to suggest to you that you discuss with your parents and/or lawyer& depending on the situation, and send a letter to the police reporting that if something happened to you, your inlaws should be held responsible - but pl discuss with your family as it is an extreme step.( and of course, if you plan on living with your hubby again)
Congrats on taking the first brave step & getting out of your inlaws place! Dont think that they've won as they wanted to drive you out & remarry their son - YOU'VE WON COZ YOU ARE IN CONTROL NOW AND ITS YOUR LIFE TO LIVE WELL.
BEST OF LUCK!

Concerned,
Socccermom