IN-LAWS and their expectations from a DIL

My mil wants me to noode my head like a sacred cow not saying no to her.I should catch her sari pallu and go back after her without saying anything.She wants her dil to listen to every word she says.Thats all so simple to tell but not worthy things to do it.:biglaugh


BYE,
SHILPA.

 

What does inlaws expect from their son and DIL

Hi friends,
My inlaws expect from their son to listen to every word they tell.He (i.e my DH) should buy whatever they like and they wish without saying no.
From their dil they want me to abide by their rules .I also should not say no to their rules and to be back of them.Finally they expect us to built a house thribble bedroom flat for them for their luxory.Even though we have loans they don't bother for them.If we buy anything they say that we r wasting money for our luxory.They want us to buy washing machine ,a T.V and vehicle for my fil and many more.
These r my inlaws expections from their son and dil .
What do ur inlaws expect from both of u?

 

Re: What does inlaws expect from their son and DIL

Hi Shilpa,

I think that is very normal in most of the families. Sometimes I wonder whether this trend is more in this generation bcos most of the sons are working abroad and parents also feel entitled to their share of luxury. As long as it is reasonable and not a burden to the son, their wishes can be fulfilled. But if their demands are financially burdensome, it is better to tell them so in nice words..

my 2 cents..

 

Good question!! I do not know what my ILs expect out of me!!

My dh just told them that he wanted to marry me, never asked They held our marriage in a grand scale. I do not have parents, so thought that I will do whatever it takes to fit myself in his huge family. I Kept in touch with his family, extended family my dh's cousins (who are all still school going) so they are like my own cousins..His family is HUGE!! While ours is very small (50 relative overall, as compared 450 of his in our marriage). It was a huge adustment, like my MIL expected me to wear a saree for all Puja's.I gladly obliged but told her I do not know to wear one. she helped me with that.

She wanted to me dawn the mantle of the oldest DIL, which I did. I try to do as much as she expects and as much I can deliver. For some things for which she expects out of me, such as bearing a child, I donot entertain her whims. I make my dh talk to her in matters that concern child, finances etc. So far, in 1 year of marriage, I havent had a serious argument with her (touchwood) but that maybe coz she seems like a reasonable person.

She wanted someone who would cook extremely well, which I do anyways. In fact she likes to know what other delicacies I make..!

Although, I do not discuss things from my family with her and neither do i talk about my ILs with my own family. I think this has helped me a lot!!

 

Dear Padmini,

Hats off to you. I am glad to hear from a MIL that they respect their DILs.

I had a tough time with my mil as well. Married for 15 yrs now. By first anniversary, i had my baby, had tremendous financial difficulties, too young to be a mother and to top it up , very unsupportive inlaws, esp mil. But i put my foot down to my husband to move out. We can have one meal a day but stay in peace. We did with a month old baby. We were terrified but still confident. We worked different shifts and took shifts to look after our baby as we could not afford for baby sitter. We overcame our debts in a yr, later i pursued higher education while my husband contined double shifts to meet our financial needs. After my education, i got a high paid job , then it was heaven, no looking back . I insisted my husband quit his second job and only work weekdays and we live the weekends. We bought our own house, own 2 cars, 2 gorgeous intelligent kids..Looking back now,it was the most very sensible move we did 15 yrs back and thanks god a million times for guiding us all way thru.

Today , my MIL proudly introduces me as her DIL.

 

Good thread.

Let me put in my points to,

I was married at the age of 20, just after I anwered my final Bsc exams, my Inlaws condition was they wanted a home maker and not a career woman and my father agreed to their condition even without consulting me. So I was made mere scape goat here.

1. From day one my inlaws kept comparing me to their daughters who have great careers , my Mil will never forget to tell about their smartness and their capability of balancing their career and famly.

Initialy I tried to argue that because of them I ended up being a housewife but still they continued, this shows they deliberately want to hurt me ...

2. Expected me to be a perfect cook from day one itself, did;nt they have common sense that I am just out of college and should be given some time to learn, they were also parents of two daughters,

For this I told my MIL several times I will learn slowly, may be I will improve in the next session, but she use to pass such hurtful comment, cursing my mom and my entire famly for my upbringing.

3.Expects me never to back answer , no matter she talks rot about my parents, sisters,I dont know why she had to talk of my sisters whom she dont even know them properly,

Here again I disappointed her, because I could'nt control myself when she spoke ill of my family, I use to give her back sarcasticly, which she could not take it, ofcourse she was successfull in making my life hell, telling nonsense about me to my DH, those days my DH being mama's boy would blindly listen to them and give me a cold treatment.