Nikita You would be one of those lucky DILs if your inlaws have been helpful so far with all the 9 points you have stated. This is not a forum where a bunch of irrational egoistic women sit around chattering about trivial happenings in their lives. I hope you get the time to go through the genuine issues posted by ladies in the forum and whenever you feel the issue isn't genuine, and if the poster has JUST one of the problems that you have stated (1) ego (2) not understanding the values of a new home (3) not being respectful to elders (4) not realizing the importance of people.. etc etc.., you can feel free to point that out, which most of us have been doing too. *** There is no one to perform the traditions with feelings only a mother will do for his son & daughter in law. ***There is no one to transfer the traditions of the family you are now going to belong to...your husband has grown up following as well....some of those traditions & values would be among reasons of you or your family choosing your better half for. TRUE ***there would be no one to support/guard you from straight comments from rest of relatives at any point ever. Yes, provided you have your inlaws support ***The older Dil's of the house may misguide leading you doing mistakes that you loose respect & spoil you relationships with in some part of family they themselves are not comfortable with....I mean you can't help being victim of politics in joint families you as you see in saas bahu serials... (Yes I went through this experience..) This could have been your experience. What if the MIL/FIL plot the politics? ***there is no one elderly you can trust for advice taking any right step for the welfare of your own family. depends on what you mean by "your own" family ***You don't have anyone who can help or save you from criticism of other DIL's of family who would be enjoying their position as the leader for putting rules without having any or much experience on the front. Again I just see this as your own experience. I did not have any problems with elder DILs within the family, in fact not even with my MIL. It was and still is my FIL who is the problem-creator. ***when you are expecting, deliver or parenting there is no experienced wisdom words to guide you go through.. ha.. Leave alone words of wisdom and good wishes, I did not even get a glass of water from my MIL during my initial nausea period of pregnancy. I had to stock water and those items in my room, that would stop my nausea during the evenings when I usually throw up. ***you always take your own decisions & never get a moment's luxury of living your life free from overall family responsibilities. yes, i left them to do all that, and i was termed irresponsible. ***when you or your husband work, travel, fall sick or at the time of true need only MIL can support balancing your life by selfless affection for your kids & husband at least if not for you due to any reason. mostly yes, mine is a different case though, but these are exceptions. Am i reading it right?? Nikita.. Like Tiyamommy mentioned in one of her posts earlier, most of us are part of this forum because, somewhere in the corner of everyone's mind here, we have a hope of having a revived relationship with our inlaws, where all of us (including inlaws) end up happy. We would probably be out of this forum once we give up or donot trust this relationship any more.