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Implications of belated or advance wishes.

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by ShilpaMa, Jan 31, 2013.

  1. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    This discussion pertains to all frndz and relatives.. couldn't find an apt sub forum hence posting here.

    How do relationships get impacted if you forget to wish on the exact day and time...

    My case: Am pretty bad at memorizing the SPECIAL days..
    Of late I get confused with my own anniversary date.. so leave alone for others.
    I even forget crucial meetings and my mgr has to get me in.. (v v kind)
    Am ok with anyone wishing me a week in adv or later ... as I feel the celebration is still on and the person did remember me.

    However I've seen some frndz say that they'll never update their b'day on FB.. cos ppl who don't remember their Bday are not worth being called frndz.. leave alone relative... so I've explained my situation to her and she says she can include me as an exception.

    How do others react? Is this something really offensive? I remember feeling hurt earlier when I had loads of time in hand & no responsibility.. but not anymore...
     
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  2. seethavarma

    seethavarma Gold IL'ite

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    Shilpama,
    Do start playing sudoku.:)if u get any spare time:):)
    Save imp dates in calendar events on phone,may be ur doing it.
    It depends on the ( high/low )expcetancy of the otherone ,its going to affect us ,right?
     
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  3. Mahajanpragati

    Mahajanpragati Platinum IL'ite

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    personally,i don't mind a day or two before or after...........many a times i don't even point out to caller that my b'day is coming/gone..............what matters is that they bothered to remember & call.

    i,too forget dates so now have got my 8 yr old son to feed all b'day,anniversaries in the calender of my phone...........the reminder rings early in morning & i call the person concerned..........

    lastly,many people do mind if they are not wished on exact date so if you value the relationship or friendship then better wish them on exact date...........use your phone or mark dates on table calender.
     
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  4. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    my phones barely last for 6-10 mnth.
    Physical Calendar ... yr end of storing all exact bday .... one clean drive by my husb and all old papers are calendars are gone... even he's bad at remembering anything. Sometimes for my SILs b'day both of us are asking each other.. is it 16 or 17... then he confirms with his mom... and we're safe.

    Hey I do remind ppl if it was my special day and they were keeping the phone without wishing me... we end up laughing for few more mins and other silly things... for the next yr to follow the same.

    My dad is one calendar in himself and he can recall the dates even at his age... provided I remember to confirm with him...
     
  5. Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

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    As long as they remember me, I don't care whether they remember my bday or not.
    (different rules apply for dh :biggrin2:)
    Similarly I will promise never to remember any of their important days :cheers.... Never tried to and never planning to. :)
     
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  6. fencesitter

    fencesitter Platinum IL'ite

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    for me remembering and wishing is like unnecessary stress! why this thread in laws forum? have they left lasting impression on u?!
     
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  7. Visasri

    Visasri Platinum IL'ite

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    I have friends who care for me in bad times but still forget birthdays, in spite of updating in Facebook. So no probs as long as they care for me. As Anita P says this rule is not for DH
     
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  8. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    fence.. no not related to inlaws..... I can't afford a Hiroshima and Nagasaki... 1 bday I missed but thankfully at that time one of my child was running 103 and 104 since last 2 days and husb out of station... I was politely reminded.. I apologized and called back and wished..... earned PAROLE.
    Even in relationship loosies... there's been GOD sent reminders to wish them and save me.

    we shud be moving it to other suitable forum....

    Mods pls move it to frndz and extended relatives (your side and inlaws side).... I felt frdz and neighbours was redundant.... and married life.. it doesn't apply.
     
  9. Geetanjalikumar

    Geetanjalikumar Gold IL'ite

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    ShilpaMa, count me in. I am bad at remembering special days too.
    My DH tries to find the logic in celebrating the special days, so these days I do not have the pressure to remember his special day too. :)
    I think, my parents birthdays are the only ones that I take pressure and remember to wish them. Otherwise, I just call if I remember.
    But I do admire people who remember and take time out to wish others.
     
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  10. sweetshreya

    sweetshreya IL Hall of Fame

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    I've made a very clear distinction in this matter. I remember the bdays of my people & have asked him to remember & remind me those of his. I still don't know when my SIL's/MIL's bdays and aniversaries are. If DH fails to remind me or forgets himself, I don't bear the burn, but direct it at him. And I rarely forget bdays of people from my side. In case I do, I call whenever I remember, and sincerely apologize & take all the scolding. :)

    The reason for above arrangement is somehow I seem to have lost the capacity of storing any new dates. I remember dates of only those who have been with me for long time.
     
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