im very confused and depressed

Discussion in 'Fertility & Trying to Conceive' started by anuradhasundar, Sep 1, 2014.

  1. anuradhasundar

    anuradhasundar Silver IL'ite

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    i want to share my story.i dont have anybody to share my feeling.i just turned 31today morning i received a shocking news my AMH 0.02 its very low.my period cycle is regular from the beginning.i cant believe this can be true,as i have never had these low values.i have been always very disciplined with attending a gynecologist,always checking hormonal status and nobody else before told me that i have a problem. i got marriage in 2010.past 5years we are trying for baby.in 2011 i met 3 operation myomectamy.2times dygnosis laproscopy and hysterocope report shows everything fine.3 times IUI done to me without any medicine and injection that time also my gyno told to me without medicine your egg quality is very good.last year 2013 may i conceive naturally but its end with miscarriage that time i suffer lot continuous 2months bleeding.same may 2014 i conceive naturally but it also ends with miscarriage.after that im very upset.basically im very fear and affraid person from my childhood.immediate next day from my marriage my inlaws and BIL torture me very worst my husband is a very nice person but he love her family very much then me so he dont care that.they torture me very worst they lock all rooms including toilet they dont allow me to cook mine is arranged marriage .due to there torture im very depressed last year we came separate from them.but till now that incident disturb me lot.past 10days im very depressed im not able to eat,sleep i feel if i conceived i die in my pregnency.now my AMH report also came very low reserve so im crying from morning and im very depressed i dont know what i do next continously i vist many temples and many pooja but god didnt show her bless to me.i dont like to live im totally very upset sorry for very long post.my english is very poor but im in very stress so i want to share my feeling to all sorry for my grammer.
     
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  2. memeera1234

    memeera1234 Gold IL'ite

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    Hugs to you dear..understand what you are going through. First of all, a very happy birthday to you..dont cry dear...dont spoil your spl day. God may be testing your patience but keep your positivity intact..maybe he has better things in store for you.

    My amh levels are also in low fertility bracket. But doc says nothing to panic. I am sick of his casual attitude though. Am 13 days post my 5th iui cycle. God only knows what he has in store for me.
     
  3. kcb

    kcb IL Hall of Fame

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    Oh Dear,

    First of all, Happy Birthday to you and many more happy returns of the day.
    I am sorry for your situation. I can understand the pain you are going through. Are you working currently? If not my suggestion is look for some jobs immediately and try to engage yourself and keep yourself busy. Hope you will be better soon.

    Try to see the positive sides of your life and try to enjoy the life, because life is short.
     
  4. aarna123

    aarna123 Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear life has so many colors.sometime dark and some time light but we always consider dark side as wrong but dear dark mean u have chance to prove urself and Kcb is right keep itself bussy go out .if or husband doesn't get agree fight for it.believe I hv seen such people in worst condition than u but they fight for their life so don't even think to anything wrong if u won't respect or life nobody will do.so faith in God .he has definatly extra special for u.

    Now cheer up ur mood and smile coz life is important than die.
    Its or birthday happy birthday
    And order some cake shek.
    ..:)
     
  5. purpledream

    purpledream Silver IL'ite

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    firstly many more happy returnz of the day anufriendssmiley
    itz ur bday!!!!leave things apart the day is urs njoy dear.
    go our 4 a dinner or a movie.


    dont stress urself,its sounds easier bt what to do we have to overcome it.he tests our patience.,with the delay hez doing something more special.
    u have turned 31,have heard odd ages gives changes in life..it may sound crazy bt at times such things comes true.
    hope n wish celebrate ur next bday with ur LO.
    keep urself engaged,learn something new hobbies of any thing,keep ur mind occupied when its free it has no boundaries.
    eat healthy and tc.
    hope soon u ll come and post a good news:)
     
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2014
  6. rmuramka

    rmuramka Gold IL'ite

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    A very Happy Birthday Anuradha!!
    God has plans for everyone...Good plans. He just takes his time to execute them. He doesn't give you things when you ask for it....he only gives you when he feels you deserve it!!
    I am also in TTC journey. I have my share of fertility issues here (different than yours)..I spent a lot of time crying/...getting depressed...couldn't share with anyone.lots of mental trauma! Day in day out..I used to stand and stare at no where and keep thinking..no interest to cook..nothing.
    finally I decided to ...take things in my hand. I contacted few docs...found some remedies..practicing them now.
    Few things which are in your hand are..

    1. Keep a positive frame of mind! Do not develop self pity, or enter into negative thinking mode.

    2. I know we have time constraints....but forget that you are TTC(Trying To Conceive). Don't stress your mind out for it.

    3. Eat good nutritious food. Check for natural remedies for AMH. We have a thread specifically for low AMH and treatments in Ayurveda. Please go through them and see if you can try that out.

    4. Have faith in god. Sometimes....just to make you realize the value of something....god wishes to test you....to check how much you crave for it. What you can do for it. So that.once you have it...you will know the value of it......and you will regard it immensely.

    Pray to God with utmost conviction. do what you need to do and leave the rest in his hands.....he will take care of everything!!

    Wish you all the luck and happiness in the world!! May god bless you with everything you wish for and much much more hugsmiley
     
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  7. anuradhasundar

    anuradhasundar Silver IL'ite

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    friends,
    first of all thanks for your supporting words.sorry for my grammer today is not my birthday last may i turned 31.today morning i received my AMH report shocking news.my husband support me lot. he encourage me to go out.at present im doing CA.past 2years my husband call me to come to her office but from my childhood i feel shy and fear to talk in front of others.so i help my husband system work from home.today morning after receive report i cry lot my hubby told im always with you definetly we get our own child soon.past 2months back we visit this doctor at the time of im conceive from that i continously visit her im not satisfied with her she talk very rude she dont care about our feeling today evening i want to visit her with my report so im very tense.
     
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2014
  8. memeera1234

    memeera1234 Gold IL'ite

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    See god has not been completely unfair to you... U have such a loving and caring husband.. those consoling words should mean the most for you...

    Go to the doc and show ur reports. Stay positive

    Meera
     
  9. anuradhasundar

    anuradhasundar Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you so much friends for your supporting words.you know my eyes are with tears while typing this.past 4 and half years marriage life i see painful days only.i suffer lot.im very soft person.in this cycle only doctor told me to took AMH test.yesterday evening i met doctor with my amh report doctor also really surprised about my report because my cycles regular 22days.past 1year back i conceived naturally suddenly idue to bad dream in my saleep it end with miscarriage after that i got brownish spotting 2days before period but my period cycle regular. again may month i conceived naturally but it ends with miscarriage.last 2 months my egg quality and quantity is very good.suddenly its drop this month.doctor told its very peculiar case.last month also your reserves are very good.i dont know how it suddenly down AMH0.02 with in 15days.doctor dont prescribe any medicine except folic acid &evion 400.she told once AMH down there is no chance for improvement.you wait for 1 more cycle afterwards we decide for eggdonar.past 15days im very depressed i try to control and divert my mind but suddenly i get afraid if i get pregnent i die in my delivery.due to this stress i get my period early last cycle i use many hormone tablet prescribe my doctor mrng 5 &nite 5 tablet for pregnancy support after that this cycle doctor told me to took AMH this pills affect my report.my hubby is very upset yesterday with this mood he drive bike feel down and injured.im very much upset and depressed i dont know what i do next.i dont like to live
     
  10. friend4u711

    friend4u711 New IL'ite

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    Dear anu,
    First of all stop worrying dear. As everybody has said, stress only elevates all the problems. We are all here to help you out and share your problems.
    Have you taken AMH test ever before? Is there any vast difference between the current and previous results.
    One positive on your side is that you have been able to conceive naturally. :) and that too twice.
    So, all factors are not against you. There a lot of things you can do to increase your chances, dear. There are a lot threads focused on low AMH levels where our friends have shared their experiences which should pave way to improve your success rate.
    You can focus your time and energy towards these. We all have been through this phase and I know it is quite painful. But read all the success stories, those who have tried and come out of this pain have often succeeded. You don’t have to go for donor egg straight away, you can try few cycles with alternative medicines, change in diet plan, lifestyle changes etc., before you take any decision.
    The most important thing is to keep yourself happy, I know it’s difficult. But try and concentrate on things which you like to do. Yoga, meditation, walking all helps. Develop a new hobby or continue doing something which you enjoyed doing (before marriage). For me, I liked swimming and I started doing it on a regular basis and some yoga. It took my mind little bit off my tension. I am quite relaxed these days and can divert my mind off ttc.
    If you are not happy with your current doctor, then switch to some good RE in your city and whenever in a dilemma always go for a second opinion.
    Lastly, even though husbands act quite tough on outside they too suffer the same pain as us. If you keep yourself relaxed, it would also help him in overcoming stress. This way you can help each other and it will surely end in a better outcome.
    These are all my personal experiences dear, and have been trying all these for last 7.5 years.
    Lots of best wishes and baby dust to you.
     

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