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IL's visit - a vent

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by EatPrayLove, Aug 6, 2013.

  1. rkarunak

    rkarunak Silver IL'ite

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    I have not yet read the post. I will read it now, just wanted to share that I thot, ILs meant IndusLadies!
     
  2. rkarunak

    rkarunak Silver IL'ite

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    You are managing quiet well!! continue the same and vent here now and then!!
     
  3. radhaparth2000

    radhaparth2000 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear OP,

    I live with inlaws evr since I am married. My inlaws do all the good things you mentioned, takes care of house hold stuff end to end. Only work I have is go to office and get back home. Having said that inlaws come as a package, they too have mood swings, praise their daughter, their son is the best husband son-in-law in the world.

    Initially I used to get irritated, but if I put myself in her shoes, if there is no cooking or household chores she gets bored a lot. There is hardly anyone around for her to talk as we both work. FIL is busy with his own work. So best way to tackle is take the good part and ignore the bad part. Do the below and see if it makes any difference, it worked forme

    1. Praise her cooking, tell her you want to learn things from her.
    2. Get her favourite stuff when you get back from work. My MIlL loves sweets and chocolates, I get them for her twice a week.
    3. Once a month we both go shopping she loves that week.
    4. I cook surprise meal for her sometimes.
    5. Call her once or twice from office and have short 2-3 minute chat.

    Finally remember its not only you who is adjusting, even they are. New country, new lifestyle is certainly difficult for them to adjust too. Enjoy this pampering phase :)
     
    sindmani, yellowmango, kma and 5 others like this.
  4. beanstalk

    beanstalk Gold IL'ite

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    All in all, this trip is going really well. NO major stressors. Enjoy!!!
     
    1 person likes this.
  5. DramaQueen

    DramaQueen Silver IL'ite

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    i can relate to a lot of things that eatpraylove and others have written.. but ofcourse its not easy to implement a lot of it.. in the heat of the moment when ILs do or say something , it just breaks ur heart to see all the effort you put it in the relationship going in vain.. they are not bad.. they are good.. my mom says they are so much better than a lot of "north Indian" in laws.. maybe she is right..but its the poking into the things i make in the kitchen .."arey aise kyun kiya" "arey waise kyun nahi kiya" "arey aise banana chahiye tha" etc etc blah blah... plus my MIL is super stingy! imagined once she went to shop for veggies from a nearby store and did not bring back the onions becoz the guy was selling it 4 rupees higher than the normal rate!!.. i mean WTF!!! seriously!! why!! and you've come to bbay to stay with us.. what kind of rates do you expect in bbay.. everyone know the std of living here is so damn high.. imagine my DH knows his own mom so well that once when we were coming back from a mall , he told me to hide a clutch I'd purchased inside my purse to avoid MILs Qs.. why should this be the approach?!!
    my other issue is fromt he time ive got married to my DH last year.. every alternate month my MIL or sometimes both MIL and FIL have been coming over to stay with us. My BIL already stays with us.. I was hoping he would move out if his marriage gets fixed..like he'll rent a property or something but he didnt.. infact he got his wife to this same house last december after marriage.. can you believe it!! and the new bahu didnt come alone in Dec.. she got MIL and after few days FIL with her.. and they stayed here for 2 full months!!! can you imagine.. in a 2 bhk in bombay.. 6 ppl living like that? all cramped! so much so that my sex life did not exist in those months because my DH didnt like parents sleeping in the hall on a sofa cum bed.. and they onviously wouldnt sleep int he new bahu's room.. so my DH asked them to sleep in our room.. on the bed.. while both of us put gaddas in the same room on the floor sandwiched between 2 cupboards.. they have a goddamn huge bungalow where ILs stay but I dont know why they did this to us back then.. imagine for the new bahu! and how old was my marriage?? 10 months? MIL has been here every alternate month for 15 days 20 days..30 days.. and its not that we dont go to visit them.. but this over exposure gets on my nerves.. i feel such relations are best maintained when you are at a distance from each other!! its so so so annoying..
     
  6. sweetshreya

    sweetshreya IL Hall of Fame

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    I can clearly see my future in your post, EPL. And looking from a third person's point of view, it feels that there are no major issues. I hope I can maintain the same feelings when I'll be on the receiving end. :hide:



    Don't worry dear, you will survive them and will become inspiration to people like me. :thumbsup
     
  7. raji2678

    raji2678 Gold IL'ite

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    Just enjoy their stay..and quietly laugh at the funny things. Plan temple outings of their favourite diety regularly.
     
  8. silvertulip

    silvertulip Platinum IL'ite

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    They are coming for 3 months, not for their whole life! Ignore the bad part to the extent possible, and enjoy the good part. U will be free in 3 months again!
     

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