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Ils Brainwashing Wife

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Dreamer, Apr 25, 2023.

  1. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    You should plan to move out.
     
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  2. lavani

    lavani Platinum IL'ite

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    does not work like that. by that time you will be having kids or emotionally weaker. emotional abuse works out its way slowly in the mind.


    anyways you got your inputs from ILs. more to come also :) . good luck ahead.
     
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  3. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Pick your battles wisely. Fight the ones you can win and move away from those that you cannot. This is a no win battle. I would try to find employment in a different place and move if I were you. It’s not worth losing your sanity over nit picking in-laws. It’s something you can’t change and looks like you have tried enough.
    Are you otherwise in good terms with your spouse? Can you live with this person despite the in-laws drama? Sometimes such things are the last straw whereas other times these are quirks of the person you chose to marry. Depending on if this is make or break for your relationship, you could consider some outside intervention like couple’s therapy. If it isn’t worth the effort then moving away is the best option.
     
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  4. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Copied from net. It is interesting - about Gar Jamai. That is after marriage the groom adopts parents-in-law and set his right-foot into their house tilting the pot brimming with boiled or raw rice!

    ...आमतौर पर शादी के बाद लड़की दूल्हे के साथ ससुराल जाकर रहती है। कई बार कुछ लड़के भी अपनी पत्नी के साथ उसके मायके में रहते हैं और उन्हें घर जमाई कहा जाता है। लेकिन ये हजारों में एक आध मामला होता है। लेकिन एक गांव ऐसा है जहां सब लड़के शादी के बाद घर जमाई बन जाते हैं।

    ये परंपरा है मध्य प्रदेश के छिन्दवाड़ा जिले में स्थित पंधराखेड़ी नामक गांव की। यहां हर लड़के को शादी के बाद पत्नी के साथ उसके घर में रहना पड़ता है। यहां पति को घर जमाई बनाने की परंपरा काफी पुरानी हो चुकी है। इस गांव में कई ऐसे परिवार हैं जिनके पूर्वज इस गांव में विवाह करके घर जमाई बनकर बस गये। उनकी बेटियां अपनी परंपरा को निभा रही हैं और पति को घर जमाई बनाकर इसी गांव में बसा रही हैं।

    इस गांव में लगभग पांच सौ परिवार रहते हैं। विवाह के बाद गांव की लड़की अपने पति के साथ ससुराल तो जाती है पर कुछ ही समय के लिए। कुछ समय बाद लड़की ससुराल को छोड़कर यह अपने पति के साथ मायके लौट आती हैं और फिर पिता के घर में ही बस जाती हैं। लड़की का पति घर जमाई बनकर ससुर के कामों में हाथ बंटाता है या फिर अपना बिजनेस करता है।

    यहां पति को घर जमाई बनाने की परंपरा काफी पुरानी हो चुकी है। इस गांव में कई ऐसे परिवार हैं जिनके पूर्वज इस गांव में विवाह करके घर जमाई बनकर बस गये। उनकी बेटियां अपनी परंपरा को निभा रही हैं और पति को घर जमाई बनाकर इसी गांव में बसा रही हैं।

    God Bless the घर जमाई
     
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  5. Dreamer

    Dreamer Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you for your response. Moving away is not an option currently hence my dilemma. In the future, whenever we can, we will.
     
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  6. Dreamer

    Dreamer Silver IL'ite

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    That was an interesting read! I have done all of what is said but still couldn't win MIL and SIL's affection.
     
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  7. sneha1985

    sneha1985 Gold IL'ite

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    Not trying to feed you with negativity and my response doesn't have a proper solution, but just sharing an identical scenario just so you can look at it from a different angle incase if your story is similar. This is of my friend's friend - wife and husband were staying with wife's mom and sis.

    In their case it was slightly different as the wife could clearly see what her sis and mom were doing. IL's were demanding husband to do everything for them i.e. even ordering him to go pick up their altered clothes. Wife's sis was a divorcee and wife later realized her sis was jealous of their family life and hence was trying to create issues along with her mom's support. Wife could clearly see it and had to set boundaries. They still live together with boundaries set.
     
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  8. Dreamer

    Dreamer Silver IL'ite

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    The boundary setting is my hope as well. I have started being strict with wife about it and have told her to take my side otherwise I am ready to walk out. Hope this will improve things.
     
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  9. sneha1985

    sneha1985 Gold IL'ite

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    Good luck! Hope everything sorts out for you soon.
     
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