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If I Don't Like You, I Do Not Like You.

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by HariLakhera, May 30, 2021.

  1. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    IF I DON’T LIKE YOU, I DON’T LIKE YOU.
    I have observed that once we start disliking a person, we don’t like anything in him. Is it a simple question of perception or something else?
    We may dislike a person because:
    -he did something wrong to us,
    -we have third party information about him, we don't like him, no reason is needed, instinctively
    - we envy his success
    -his failures make him good for nothing
    We do not like to explore the possibilities of liking him. We see nothing amiable in him.
    But we also know that everyone has something good in him. Despite this, we do not like, so we do not like, Period.
    What do you say?
     
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  2. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Very true. I have also experienced. We meet so many people in life but with some only be friendly and some close
     
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  3. Vaikuntha

    Vaikuntha Platinum IL'ite

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    I agree, if we do not like someone- we find fault in everything
    If we like someone- we ignore so much of their faults
     
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  4. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Likes and dislikes are often, instinctive. We take a dislike to a person at first a sight, then we cook up reasons for your dislike. I don't think third party has much direct influence on this. Persionally I would like to meet a person before I develop a liking or dislike for him
     
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  5. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Hari Sir,

    We have a bundle of principles, sharpened thoughts, encrypted opinions, appreciation for our own mind, etc. embedded in our brain. Unfortunately, the amount of data that comes for processing into our brain is enormous and the brain doesn't have much time to analyze big data and come up with most accurate decision. In general, most conclusions the brain derives are on the set of existing archived data to make our day to day easier to handle. They are merely opinions/predictions based on quick data analytics. If we need to make change in this pattern of analysis, we may have to limit the data processed and change the habit of the way we analyze things. For that, we need control of our mind and associated emotions and feelings and a higher discriminative power and the willingness to accept/ignore things that are trivial and doesn't change our course of life.
     
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  6. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    Like or dislike happens only when we meet a person and spend some time with him. It is not fair to judge a person on first sight or by what others say about him. However, as they say "bad achcha, badnaam bura" (a bad character is okay but not a pronounced bad character. This means third party does play a role. However, unless we deal with the person for some time, and keep exchanging meetings, no firm opinion can be formed.
    However, once an opinion is formed, good or bad, it is difficult to change. As Vaikuntha said, if we like a person we tend to ignore minor faults, but if develop a dislike, we dislike everything in him.
     
  7. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Shri Viswa,
    I agree to what you say. We all have some preconceived ideas about right or wrong, morality, likes and dislikes and that does affect our opinion of others.
    However, we are also not naive to prejudge a person. Most times, we try to accept people as they are unless they are direct threat to our own existence, which rarely happens.
    The point is what to do if you develop a dislike for a person. You have already tried to ignore some of his behavioral points that you dislike but it has not worked. I am not talking about people with whom no day to day interaction is involved. They can be easily ignored. I am talkin g about people who are in touch with you all the time. There is no option but to tolerate them.
     
  8. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Hariji,
    Generally we are neutral to many...no like or dislike. only after interacting with them we develop or dislike. Of course I agree some develop a negative impression...it is intuitive. But when we find some trait we like our negative impression disappears and we start liking them. Some have the art of connecting with people instinctively...a personality trait ....it is a gift to some. They are generally popular with people and many like them.
    Syamala
     
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  9. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    That is for sure. You can not like or dislike a person unless you meet and interact with him or her. It is only after some close proximity that we are in a position to like or dislike or just ignore. These days it is all the more difficult because as the Japanese say each one has three faces: one for the world at large, second for the family and near ones and third only for self.
    But after close association and after having given all benefits of doubts, if you do not like a person, it is best to say bye.
     
  10. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    No comment for my feedback must be sin e it is short
     
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