If husband says "Address not negotiable" your response?

Yeah , as long as they remember their marriage vow also.. but men tend to conveniently forget their duties towards wife.. but remind wife of her duty towards his parents.

 

i think it does not matter if the guy insists on living with his parents or not. It depends on whether he is looking for a partner in his spouse. Even if the guy is not living with his parents, he may be much closer to his parents than a guy who is living with his parents. if he is not going to stand up for his wife or support his wife, then the wife has to suffer whether staying with in-laws or away. The PILs can interfere in their life anywhere if the bonding between the son and them is strong and the son does not see a life partner in the spouse.

Actually, living with the in-laws may have some advantage to at least have some rational of the mood swings exhibited by the husband. If staying away, wife is not exposed or unaware of the communication going on and always wonders where did that come from.

 

An aunt of mine is only physically living separately from her in laws, her house is under the rule of her MIL, who controls everything from her place and dictates her terms.

Her DH is a momma'a boy, who runs to his momma for everything, and there are some hard and fast rules, like even if there is a hailstone, sundays should be entirely spent at IL's house, no matter what.

 

YES...a big bold YES.
I dont expect my brother to leave my parents alone when they're old.And I would also not ask my husband to leave his parents house.
If I was a guy I would've said the same to my wife.That my parents have looked after me throughout their lives and now its my turn to look after them.That would not mean that I love my wife any less,but just that my parents need me more in their old age than ever.
Unless the wife and parents share very bitter relationship no guy would like to leave their parents.


Btw this topic is like adding fuel to fire. :coffee:

 

banana
Sorry Dinny..couldn't resist......Havent read that kind of post in a very long time !!!!

 

Usually the parents are not old when a guy is getting married. You would assume that the parents are at that point in their 50/60s. So the argument that the man would need to take care of them because they are old is not usually valid.

Who knows do the parents even want to have the adult son living with them. Especially if he plans to bring his family there to their home.

 

Sadly a majority of Indian parents don't just want but expect. The only exception is if the son has to be at a different place for work.

 

Is it the social pressure? That your son is "bad" if he does not get stuck with the parents? So the parents have to let the son be there "forever" so that it looks good ...

 

Yes...a lot of that is true but the social pressure is also on the girls to be good Dil and keep the their parents head held high. It is almost blasphemous for a girl in most cases to even say she does not want to be married into a joint family.

It is always acceptable for a son to live away for "earning money" but not for other reasons. wife's discomfort is not a good enough reason.