1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

If Husband Put Puzzle Face Every Time..

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Reesha, Mar 28, 2020.

  1. Reesha

    Reesha Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    315
    Likes Received:
    201
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi ILs,
    Hope all are winning in their life battles with worst partners/partner's families.

    My husband is verity creature i think. already i am battling/handling his parents. he is mature in case of office matters & finance matters. but he behaves like a 10 yr boy while i am talking/expressing my soulful feelings/emotions to him. that mean, he listens. but became silent/putting face that he is not able to understand my words/phrases.

    ok let me tell examples.

    1. while chatting, i gave link below link and told him that i need such kind of moments in my life

    Link:

    His Reaction is: :thinking:

    when i explaining about my dreams about tours with him/some thing else which are simple like goa visiting/spending side of beach..then
    His reaction is: :redface:

    most of time.....sorry all times... he used emojis/blank/puzzled face expressions even in chattiong/or directly in bed room. what to do with this kind of husband. he love sex only. only...sex...that mean lust.not at all love. i am seeing his lust feelings only towards me because i am bit attractive shaped girl(few guys told that to me:tonguewink:). but i want Love feelings. i am trying to induce serious LOVE in our relationship after 9 yrs of marriage life and after 2 kids:BangHead: now by telling/expressing openly all these to him. ofcourse in past 9 yrs i tried and i thought at some point he will learn/or after kids he may loves me more than his parents...

    but nothing has changed. still his first priority is his parents only...me is always last in his mind and only for sex cum house management. i am trying to induce my love into actions. but he is escaping all time or putting puzzled face that he is listening rocket scince and thise feelings are not understandable.

    ladies, i suck up my self really. some times i am getting thoughts of having boyfriend to enjoy my dreams when i am in downtime. but ethically its not right ...naa. so i am trying to change my husband as my dream boy friend...but he always put face like ...puzzled...or hearing some chinees language.


    what to do...
     
    Loading...

  2. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    10,326
    Likes Received:
    25,399
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    The guys told that to you before, during or after 9 yrs of your married life?
     
    Iamgaurav, lavani and KashmirFlower like this.
  3. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,148
    Likes Received:
    5,072
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    George Bernard Shaw and his correspondent carried on with love feelings using the mail. Not as fast as Chat-rooms or Social-forums on the internet. However, in those slow days, it had worked find. May be they reread the letters until the new one came up in the mail.

    Is it possible to have love-feelings online, and then have practicals at home ? Wouldn't that be a win-win, please-them-all situation ? Some people are just hands-on types, and theory bores them a lot. On the other hand, some others may love the abstract, the theories and the etymologies, but would be a total flop when an actual specimen is presented to prove a point.

    Be happy and work it out.
     
  4. lavani

    lavani Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    476
    Likes Received:
    573
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    every person is different . men express their feelings of love through physical contact. i cannot judge you . but your expecations of love and his expectations are totally different. love to parent is different, you cannot compare as you cannot compare love to a child. jealousness on that comparision is no use.

    may be find a simpler way / hobby that help you in getting alone time with him and also he understands . sorry my H will also do that if i had shared that video with him.

    but i won't advise you to consider attention either online or real life from outsiders. it would start innocently but can lead in pretty bad ways.

    i can suggest , find some activity which he and you both love to do together other than se.x.

    my H joined yoga hesitantly , now he is hooked. he takes me everytime and schedules our classes all the time. i have even heard him telling, that he enjoys it more when i come to the class with him and it is not as fun if he is alone.
     
    drdiva, shravs3 and GoneGirl like this.
  5. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    1,378
    Likes Received:
    2,886
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    Your post made me smile. I visualized it:blush:.

    OP, He has given that expression because he think you are complaining without a genuine reason. He believes he pour his love through sex. May be that's his love language. Have you ever explored the difference in love language? Look like both of your needs are different.

    Like many other women,you need verbal affirmations, expressions and companion ship like your dreams in the video. We approach it emotionally.

    Keep on loving him the way you want to be. But dont talk about it again and again. He will consider it nagging. If you continue it will drive him away.

    The most important factor man like is appreciation, that's what attract him to you. Also our upbringing is another factor that influence how we express emotions. Many Indian men lack in that department.

    I am sure he loves you, but may not be in love with you. It can happen in arranged marriage. Learn from him. He is his first priority. For him his family, his interests are important. Accepting the reality will give you ideas on how to tackle it

    Follow his footsteps, make yourself your first priority, love yourself...if you can't love you who else will love you.

    Dont chace him or be available to him 24/7...let him miss you. focus on you, build yourlife, your own friends, have your own hobbies be busy.. let him wonder what's going on...let him chace you.

    We can't force anyone to love or respect us. It should come naturally. So be yourself, a vibrant and positive, happy woman..he will come to you. If we keep on thinking what's missing, we may end up in depression or become a bitter negative person. So be positive.

    No one is perfect. See his positives. But may be you can train him. See this thread, especially #14
    Is arrange marriage loveless?
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2020
    drdiva, AmulB, BhumiBabe and 2 others like this.
  6. lavani

    lavani Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    476
    Likes Received:
    573
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    very wise reply.
     
  7. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,925
    Likes Received:
    5,427
    Trophy Points:
    425
    Gender:
    Female
    This is the best solution :grin:
     
  8. AmulB

    AmulB Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    192
    Likes Received:
    103
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    @Reesha reading ur situation seemed little similar to mine. Though I don’t have a solution for u, I’m just sharing my story that is little related.
    I was yearning for love form my H for long time, but I was only getting disappointed by expecting how it was not happening the way I want. the love expressions were only shown when we were as couple for first year, sooner kids came into picture and life became busy and stressful.
    For him, love means s** and that too when he gets drunk and he is drunk almost daily.
    Aftter all I seeked for help here, and heard from ladies not to ignore s** and it will only loosen the relationship more. How is it possible to love a man same way when u know u don’t get the love u want. I was playing a bad cop as I opposed his drinking habits always. while his folks only encouraged sayings he’s used to it and they r ok about it. And that makes him love them more than me I guess. What ever the logic could be, I felt dejected and disappointing submitting myself when I know I am not being loved The way I want but only taken for granted. So I started distancing and challenged only when he shows some love without his drinking I will go to him. And that day never came...
    You said you’re getting thoughts of having a dream bf, this is what leads to cheating in relationships, unfulfilled love from a spouse and lack of respect.

    But sending those indirect messages through videos might be a turn off or they don’t even watch or could be boring to them and they play ur emotions more.
    The things u keep showing and Expect, your expectations will only keep increasing and u will feel disappointed as ur h won’t address those.
    like other ladies suggested try a common hobby, go for walks— when lockdown is over. Play w kids, do some activities with them together and do more of family activities and u won’t keep feeling something’s missing.
     
  9. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    7,627
    Likes Received:
    22,973
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    Guys don't need romance if they are already getting sex.
    Romance is the route to sex.


    His puzzle face means....why do I need to woo you with romance if you are already ready for sex.
     
    Reesha, Rihana and Amulet like this.
  10. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,148
    Likes Received:
    5,072
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    Happy to see you back here.
    "Why run to catch the bus, if you're already in it ?" --- is the local expression in forin.
    And besides, from childhood on, while playing hide-and-seek, we learn this phrase: "ready or not, here I come". A phrase that marrieds use to claim their conjugal rights.

    [​IMG]
     

Share This Page