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ideas plz.... tackling people...

Discussion in 'H4 Indian Ladies' started by magicworld, Jun 17, 2010.

  1. magicworld

    magicworld Bronze IL'ite

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    hi friends !
    I have an issue with a friend which I m unable to share with anyone. thought IL is the best place. she came here after marriage may be 2 years back.. I was excited about a new friendship (both our husbands are good friends ). for some reason after a while I noticed that she was trying to ignore me when I was talking.. now I feel so uncomfortable talking to her as before. not only that she now wants to show off everything that she knows about USA and wants to point out every tiny negatives in my life... I m a person who likes to learn good things from others and also like to share things that i know (I had literally no indian friends when I came here. I didnt want her to face that situation and was trying to be as friendly and helpful as i could... but now I am the one who is hurt and feel bad .)
    dear friends plz suggest me some ideas to tackle these kind of people.
    my biggest problem is I can not back answer even when people are hurting me.
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2010
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  2. SRK123

    SRK123 Silver IL'ite

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    hi magicworld,

    my situation is exactly like yours. i am in usa since 3 years and i didnt make a single friend. i miss all my friends and family in india. i have a 3 year old kid. I have also read your another thread about indian friends in usa. I totally agree with you. I am staying in an apartment where most of them are indians, and already there are groups based on language. like, hindi group, tamil group etc. I observed that they are not ready to talk to me, or reply to what i say. I tried and tried very hard, finally i gave up. I was getting depressed whenever i start thinking about them. and this is also hurting my self respect, I was losing all my confidence. Now I stopped thinking about them.

    I observed that, we should stop being desperate, if you show that you are desperate , people start taking advantage of you or take you for granted,

    Recently, I finally made a friend after 3 years, we spoke to each other, we went to gym together, after few days, she told me her problems with her husband, etc. I gave her lot of suggestions on how to reduce pressure with kids, how to deal with her husband, how to clear all her problems, how to be organised to save some time for herself, etc. She found lot of change in her life after one week, now she is very happy, but started to ignore me, because she got her confidence back and started meeting other friends, and finally stopped talking to me. I got used to such people, now i am not taking it to heart, just ignore such people. If she needs me, she will come and talk, then i will reply politely. otherwise, hi to hi and bye to bye. thats it
    and she is
    By the way, where do you stay, I am staying in bay area. I can probably be a right friend for you.-kiran

    Admin Note: You can exchange contact information only through private messages. Private message subscription is just $10/year. Each private message subscription comes with a free gift subscription, which you can give to the other person and you both can contact each other instantly. More Details.

    Trying to exchange contact information for a second time will result in the member loosing all posting privileges. As members pay to exchange contact information, we enforce this rule pretty strictly. Thank you for your understanding. We look forward to seeing more of you on IL.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 17, 2010
  3. Mehana

    Mehana Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Magicworld I was exactly in same situation a year ago. Like u I am a adjustable person, as I was new to this place 5 yrs ago nobody was there. Same like u I know only one family(her H & my H are friends), she came to US exactly 1 month before me thats it.

    Initially she was good, but later she showed her original character, even later I realized that she ignored and lowered me infront of others. I felt very bad as I do no much about here, but later I cope upmyself. U know I am very courage and strong I just started ignoring her just hi bye.

    But I have 3 or 5 friends here who really good and nice, I learnt mistake from her friendship now I am with good friends alone. Dont care about such people go on ur way, still she say anything about u infront of others talk to her straightly dont worry.....
     
  4. santhanarayana

    santhanarayana Senior IL'ite

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    Previously i was like that. But i am trying to learn with good books,good people.
    Things will happen. In life we see so many people. Need to learn on all aspect. Discuss with them why they are avoiding and tell how you felt? If they are good they will tell. May be they felt bad on any situation.Have a friendly good bye.Dont react but may be respond. Dont take any thing to heart. Make your Dh,kid are best friends. So many good people are around. You can talk with them.Busy with different activities.Think Positively. Smile always.
    Your id is magic world..so bring magic ..convert everything positive.and laugh...to life
    IL is good plat form. You can get good friends. Join in Chit Chat of respective language. Express your self. If you keep some thing in your heart it will make you irritation and so many other problems.
    Have a good day.
     
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2010

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