I wish I should have dated my hubby before marriage

blessed · Mar 30, 2009

Hi friends

I always felt I should have known more about my DH before getting married to him.
I mean in arranged marriages, first the boy comes to brides place to see the girl, they just have small talk for 10-15 mins and if everything is ok, then they settle for an engagement and there after the marriage.

In my case I hardly knew him before marriage, if only we had spent some valuable romantic time together, I would have known him better and would have learnt a lot of about the character of his family members.

I was a complete stranger to his family on the day I entered my matrimonial home, my DH himself was a stranger to me, I felt very awkward in this situation Drowning.
If only they were a little familiar to me, I think that day would have been a memorable one. With all my relatives gone I felt like a fish out of water for first few days in my inlaws place.
Any one in my situation??

Padmini · Mar 30, 2009

dear blessed( so cute your name is)
this is the case with all arranged marriages. atleast now , mil and all the people are are to some extent understanding and welcome the new girl. in my days( 39 yrs ago,) all people in the bridegroom would see the bride as if she had come from another world!! slowly we have to get use of the house and members.let me see what others say!!
with love
pad.

Pinky Chawla · Mar 31, 2009

yes Blessed

I very much agree with you:

Atleast 3-4 outings before marriage would be enough for us understand each other, than to feel a complete stranger in your inlaws home.

Arabudupi · Mar 31, 2009

I dont think meting a person a few times before marraige would help us understand him. Before marriage everything seems rosy and you love whatever he does.You never really know a person till you start living with him, thats what i feel. And marriage does bring changes in people.

Priya_Mommy · Mar 31, 2009

Hi Blessed,
I second to Arabudupi.
You can't really judge a person or a family in few outings.
Arranged marriages do have this kind of Con and risk. Unless you live with him throughout 24 hours, you can't come to any conclusion as such.
I believe eventhough you know them onhand before, the initial days at inlaws place will be so nervous.