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I wish DIL was more interactive with me..

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by mslakshmi, Jan 28, 2008.

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  1. Mar 31, 2008 #21
    SoaringSpirit

    SoaringSpirit Silver IL'ite

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    Re: Relationship with-in-laws

    Dear MSLakshmi,

    Very happy to hear that you are doing well and taking things in your stride. I am sure this is just the beginning of a positive phase for you and that it is only going to get better.

    A loving, caring and patient person like you undoubtedly deserves the best and I know you sure will get the best.


    SS
     
    SoaringSpirit, Mar 31, 2008
    SoaringSpirit, Mar 31, 2008
    #21
  2. Mar 31, 2008 #22
    roopadadia

    roopadadia Silver IL'ite

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    Thats good news...and while reading your post too i could get the positive vibes.

    Keep it up. Hope this becomes contagious and your DIL will soon follow suit and be more friendly with you.

    Warm regards
    Roopa.
     
    roopadadia, Mar 31, 2008
    roopadadia, Mar 31, 2008
    #22
  3. Mar 31, 2008 #23
    mslakshmi

    mslakshmi Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Rachana

    I just saw yr mail n want to give response immdly. I felt v bad about yr 3 yr old baby. Its v v sad. People shd change as per the days. MIL shd help to Dil, particularly when they r working. I hope yr people wil understand u n u wil get good days too.

    M S LakshmiDrowning
     
    mslakshmi, Mar 31, 2008
    mslakshmi, Mar 31, 2008
    #23
  4. Mar 31, 2008 #24
    mslakshmi

    mslakshmi Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Aruna

    I just saw yr mail n felt v happy for yr response.

    My MIL saw me as a daughter n I too followed the same. I Know she wil understand that n wil b normal.

    Now she came back to our house, after spending sometime with her parents n behaving normally, as I expected.

    Thanks for yr msgs n strength given to me n with that help only I became normal.

    M S LakshmiHarhar
     
    mslakshmi, Mar 31, 2008
    mslakshmi, Mar 31, 2008
    #24
  5. Mar 31, 2008 #25
    mslakshmi

    mslakshmi Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Roopa
    How r u? I am fine n busy with Walkers club programms. V hv celebrated on March 8th Womens day n small refreshment too. V hv played a drama with reg to EAT LESS N BE HEALTHY. Everyone liked it n they hv announced prises for all of us. There is singing n fancy dress competition too. That day v hv visited a Old Age Home n gave them OLD CLOTHS.

    In our park, v hv YOGA Classes morning 5.30 to 6.30 AM which includes laughing classes also. So I am busy n happy.

    Now the good news is my DIL is normal with me.

    Thanks to u all for everything.

    M S LakshmBig LaughBig LaughBig Laugh
     
    mslakshmi, Mar 31, 2008
    mslakshmi, Mar 31, 2008
    #25
    sindmani likes this.
  6. Mar 31, 2008 #26
    mslakshmi

    mslakshmi Senior IL'ite

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    Re: Relationship with-in-laws


    Hi Aruna

    Thanks a lot

    M S Lakshmi:coffee
     
    mslakshmi, Mar 31, 2008
    mslakshmi, Mar 31, 2008
    #26
  7. Mar 31, 2008 #27
    Sheetha

    Sheetha New IL'ite

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    Dear Ms. Lakshmi

    I am really sorry that you are going through the lonliness in your life. It is really too bad that your DIL is not empathising with you. That is not acceptable behaviour on the part of a DIL.

    That being said, I dont think the entire generation is bad. There are definitely some very insensitive people in every generation. Your DIL seems to be one in her generation.

    Maybe you are doing too good of a job of not showing your sadness to your DIL (or she is just a very bad unsympathetic person). It might help if you tell her that you feel a little lonely at times and would like some company.

    I am not supporting your DIL, but I am trying to think of a reason for her behaviour.

    One reason I dont talk much with some people is that my beliefs about life, people, religion, politics, culture, marriage, relationships (even cooking style :-D) etc might not be the same as them. With these people I keep my conversations to a minimum as talking to them about any of these subjects will only leave a bitter taste and bad opinions about each other. It is not unthinkable that a MIL and DIL separated by many years will have differing opinions on these subjects.

    So when I come back from a hard day's work and I have to talk to someone, mostly elders with a different opinion, I have to use all my strength to measure every single word I say to make sure I dont say anything that they might not agree with. The reason this takes all my strength is that a working woman (as you may know) at work needs to speak up her opinions and ideas openly and boldly to be successful. When we come home we have to completely reverse the mode and go into hiding all our opinions and ideas. This takes energy. Talking to people who will not critisize me for having my opinions is very easy and calming. Maybe you can try talking with your DIL about certain things she likes and maybe you can listen to her opinions about those things (without judgement :-D). That way she might now use you as he sounding board instead of all her friends.

    Also I think all this will last only until she has a baby. After that you will be helping out with the baby right. She has to talk to you about the baby. She cant escape there :-D. The baby will of course be very close to you and love you a lot as you will be the doting grandparent.

    Please be happy and courageous. Everyone at IndusLadies is rooting for you. We are right behind you encouraging you and supporting you. All the best :-D
     
    Sheetha, Mar 31, 2008
    Sheetha, Mar 31, 2008
    #27
  8. Apr 2, 2008 #28
    roopadadia

    roopadadia Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Lakshmi,

    Nice to know that you are engaged in so amny activities and enjoying life...but most of all you are happy.

    Also, that your DIL's behaviour is becoming normal...thats a good sign. As i had mentioned earlier the in-laws need to meet the DILs half way to make her comfortable...so to break the ice throw some surprise party for her...by taking her parents n friends into confidence...this will surely go a long way.

    Warm regards
    Roopa.
     
    roopadadia, Apr 2, 2008
    roopadadia, Apr 2, 2008
    #28
  9. Apr 4, 2008 #29
    mslakshmi

    mslakshmi Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Sheeta
    I hv read yr big msg n thanks a lot for that n yr patience to touch all corners of the situation.

    I like yr sixth para When I was working.......when I am back home, I need people who wil understand me n give support. U r right in this. So there is no such situation here.
    She normally speakes less.

    Ofcourse, now she is OK n talking n sharing her views with me.

    Recently she returned from her parents place. The second day I hv purchased her (Surprise gift) a new embroidary saree n she felt happy. V r going to my bil's daughters' wedding. For that purpose I gave her n immdly she has given it for blouse stitching n she liked it v v much.

    She is working n has to leave house around 7.30 am. She is taking lunch box n not eating anything. I hv purchased Cornflax n asked her to hv this before she goes to office. She is having it regularly. Like that whatever she wants, I am taking care of her n now I am happy.

    Thanks a lot once again for yr love and affection.

    M S Lakshmi:hiya:hiya:hiya
     
    mslakshmi, Apr 4, 2008
    mslakshmi, Apr 4, 2008
    #29
  10. Apr 4, 2008 #30
    ANK

    ANK Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi MS,

    I can see that u are one great MIL!!! U r a good soul, and all ur pain is just a passing phase. Ur DIl will open her eyes, and see what she has been missing, and will make up for lost time! God bless ur good soul!
     
    ANK, Apr 4, 2008
    ANK, Apr 4, 2008
    #30
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