I want my in-laws to MOVE OUT!

Totally sympathize with you- here is what I did in a totally similar situation- PACKED THEM OFF TO INDIA. Good riddance! And despite what people tell you you don't need them when you have kids- you can hire a maid and find a great daycare. That is what we did after we packed them off to India, and we haven't regretted it for one single minute. Sell your condo and go on a vacation which will make them move out. When you get back, pretend they do not exist. Good luck- I'm totally with you sister!

 

LOL. Brutally honest, aren't we, Sudarshana? How did you pull this off and how did you deal with the tears and the guilt trips and the nagging? If your husband was with you 100%, you are ONE LUCKY lady!

 

How can i make myself more strong

I can understand your situation Paneha...and i would like to say that you are in a very strong position since you are an independant woman. You are very well aware of your rights and have a great job!!! I know you can do it cuz you have an upper hand here.

I have been married for one and a half year and myself and my husband live in his parents home. My inlaws are very nice people but im not too fond of my mother in law. There is always an element of "ME ME ME" in whatever she says. She thinks she is perfect and whatever she touches turns into gold. She keeps visiting her husband as well who is in the states since he startdoes business there. I enjoy alot when they are not around especially my MIL cuz then im more happy, more active , more full of life. However when she comes I feel a little uncomfertable, a little subdued. I really want myself and my husband to move out and buy our own home (And we can since we have the money) but my husband i think is not up for the idea. How can i make things work for me. I dont want my husband to cut contact with his parents, all i want is for us to live independantly. Moreover, i also am thiking of growing our family and the thought of she constantly telling me what to do and how to handle the baby infuriates me.

I dont know how to begin. Since i feel i have no security. I work but my pay goes in our joint account (mine and my husbands). i live in his parents home. I have no family here. where do i start? Paneha since you are a lawyer, can you kindly help me what things i should start doing from this point onward so when maybe a year down the lane i bring up the topic of moving out I am in a strong position financially and legally.

 

Dear lawyer
I cannot believe you are going through thisin this modern world and being a lawyer!! You are one of the most educated and respected in your profession.
This is called matyr syndrome. Do you understand what you just did? You lost out on the golden years of your life. You justHAVE to tell that loving husband of yours enough is enough. This is not the life you or your parents dreamed off being a prisoner in your own home. Use that money you have and buy some peace of mind. Either you get them a home in India or rent something close by to you. Get your life back lawyer!! Good luck. You have ended up a used doormat get your life your husband and your happiness back . Be strong and speak up !! Or accept a life of drudgery. Life is short you have to act fast!!

 

Even if your MIL says no why don't you be strong and hire a maid to do all cleaning. If she argues tell her that you cannot clean after coming home from job and she is old enough to do that. I think her problem is she thinks she does all work and you are enjoying. Don't expect her to do the cooking even on weekdays. Just make some arrangements as you wish. It is your house and you have to run it.

 

Dear, ending your life will be thier victory. i also feel that many times that if I am not in this world then they will know how good i was. But hang on..there are solutions to each problem.

I know your career is at high peak...is their any way you can give a break to it for a year? So not stop working but just stop working hard , spend some time doing what they expect..not to the 100% extend but somewhat and involve your husband as well? So they see it is not soley your responsibility but u r doing some and so is your DH. Take them for some outings sometimes with you and your husband. Make their b'days and anniversary special. Try something little more, do not totally leave upto their expectation else it can become a habit. do a little bit, do not do little bit. Make something specials , some do not care...and it may work out

 

Very old thread dears. We do not know if the issue has been resolved or not. So let us leave the matter here.