I totally stopped talking to my husband

Dear MC..I typically dont reply to posts but somehow came across yours and just wanted to write to you. Please be patient and strong. Many women out there who feel your pain. May God bless you and your daughter and give you courage to overcome these circumstances. I have a two and half yr old daughter too and she gives me great joy and comfort. There are many women out there who are struggling just to have a child. So treasure what you have. As far as your husband is concerned if i were you i did try to get away from him so i dont have to live like a corpse for the rest of my life.

 

MC: I think this martyr's attitude towards ones own life is not healthy. One is always looking for someone else to pass the buck and the blame. I don't think it's fair to place the blame on your parents for your troubled marriage, when you have finished blaming husband and mil. Whatever your dad did, he did it in your best interest. Would you have liked it if your dad had said, I'm not doing anything for your marriage. Find your own guy and get married and let you go on dates? I don't think that sort of thing happens in India yet. There are many girls out there whose parents cannot find a boy for them and they have to hunt for alliances themselves on matrimonial sites. Father is least interested. The girl has to face questions from relatives, at work etc. regarding when her marriage is. And such girls hit depressing thirtees without a spouse or partner. Moreover, how do you know it would have been a happy ending if you were given a chance for love marriage? There are no guarantees. We see so many rotten marriages in this message board itself. Trust me. No one sacrifices anything for anybody. At that point, you did whatever suited your best interests.

I would say, see if you can change your perspective towards life. I have a friend who constantly complained about her non-loving husband, disinterested in-laws, sad parents and how she should have settled abroad after marrying a more suitable guy. Her life was only filled with regrets and zero appreciation. Until her little child died due to illness. Now she knows and understands that whatever she had assumed before as tragedy was no tragedy at all. She sees things in different perspective, is pregnant again, and is thankful for the good things in life, however little. Primarily, she's stopped blaming others. She does whatever she can, and leaves the rest to universe to take care.

Good luck to you.