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i think i have a problem, pls help

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by rose04, Jun 25, 2008.

  1. rose04

    rose04 New IL'ite

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    Dear All,

    I got married to my hubby 2 yrs ago. It was an arranged marriage, during the time we were speaking he asked my ambitions to work etc.. i told him highly about my aspirations. Basically he wanted a working spouse & who could support him morally, financially .

    We finally got married & came to US. I was in H4 visa, & i couldn't work i could have studied any course, but i was sometimes so adamant that i told him i dont want to study.I became pregnant & delivered a baby within the first year, but he was always complaining me that he wanted a career oriented female & we always used to argue & fight..........

    My problem is that i am smart girl, i was working in India. BUt right now my confidence has gone down very badly that feel miserable. I keep blaming myself & sometimes my hubby who is so considerate helps me out by talking & telling there are ways to go about, he helps me out. I dont know why i can't land ina very small job too. I have an MBA degree. I am applying to all sorts of job, but there is no call from any recruiter.... Feeling very disappointed. But husband is very disappointed and he is upset with me everyday, we only fight about this ........
    I don't think we love each other at all..... what to do..............
    pls help
     
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  2. l_janaki

    l_janaki New IL'ite

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    Hi,

    First of all don't lose your hope. You said you have a baby. If you were working & while in work if you got pregnent then either you can join your job after maternity leave or you can leave your job for your kid & family. But now you are having baby. Each time you will go to an interview everyone will think first about your baby because someone has to take care if you go for work, so be calm. Give your baby full attention & talk to your husband regarding this. Tell him that let the baby grow &let baby join pre-school & in the mean time you try for jobs as well or at least try for temporary or part-time jobs which will help you a lot or if you are really finding problem in getting jobs then try any voulenteering job in management which will be for 3-5hrs(you can choose the hours of work) in that time you can place you baby in creache & at the same time your hubby will also be little bit relaxed but voulenteering jobs don't pay anything but you can get a very good experience which will help you in getting your type of job. Atleast you will have someting to put it on your CV in US to show that you have worked in US. Hope you liked my ideas. If yes then please do reply me.Thanks.

    :goodidea:Janaki
     
  3. orion80

    orion80 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Rose,

    Please dont feel miserable. To come out of this situation, you should:

    1. Concentrate on a particular field you are interested in and build your knowledge in it
    2. Update your resume. Make it more interesting. You have hundreds of sample resumes available online.

    Take your husbands help in this. When your husband sees that you are working towards getting a good job, he too will start helping you out and encouraging you.

    Your will to land is a good job soon should drive you in positive direction, but not make you miserable. It all depends on how you look at it.

    My best wishes to you for a good career and a happy married life.. All the best..
     
  4. MrsV

    MrsV Bronze IL'ite

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    congrats on your baby!!

    it's not easy to land a job in the US - American graduates are having a difficult time (I'm assuming you did not graduate from the US based on your post) so it would only be harder.. so don't be discouraged and try volunteering at places you like, try the local newspaper if you are not looking for a big company.. i'm not sure what your immigration status right now.. so don't worry.. all in good time.. keep the faith..

    good luck and best wishes..
     
  5. sonalie

    sonalie Junior IL'ite

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    Rosie baby,
    you are a smart girl.

    be a entrepreneur, start a website, now a days you can get site made under 500-1000 usd......this will keep you busy n some money may flow too,
    you can even run your own jobsite.....
    need any help, let us know................

    guys normally want a wife who is gainfully busy...so that she has less time to nag him unneccessasirily... she may be in a job or she may be just doing artistic thing or voluntary work, charity whatever..
    so take your decisions with openmind and enjoy life, whatever cards it deals you...
     
  6. shivachoubey

    shivachoubey IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear rose04,

    Everything in life contains its opposite too. So if you push too much for something usually the negative comes out. So probably don't push too hard to get a job, relax you will make a place for yourself in this world, in the end we all do manage to do so.

    First take a step to control your life. Like sit down and think about the qualities you have, not having a job does not mean you are less than anyone else. I understand that you confidence level is in dumps now but then you will have to take baby steps in building it back.

    As you were working before than its just the matter of gaining back the confidence. In the interviews don't come across as nervous or desperate. Before applying for a job think that this is not the end of life, you will get some better opportunities in future.

    You can also set your goal like if even after 3 years I am hitting a wall I will change my line.

    I have met so many fabulous women in my life who are not working but have a very different approach in life.

    Try your best for obtaining a job but if you are not getting one then probably you need to look at the ignored corners of your life and explore them, you never know a jackpot might be hidden there.

    You have a whole beautiful life ahead of you, do not go in depression and ruin it. Enjoy the time that you have in your hands right now because once in a job you will miss it.

    And Believe in yourself. That is the most important thing in life. If you think you can do it then no one in this world has the capability of stopping you.

    May you have a very bright future ahead and may you all your good dreams come true.

    Remember stop pushing and start believing. Bigger the obstacle greater the glory of overcoming it.

    regards

    :coffeeShiva
     

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