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I see lot of people going in for counsellings!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by srinivasan_vanaja, Jun 19, 2007.

  1. srinivasan_vanaja

    srinivasan_vanaja Gold IL'ite

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    Hi everybody,

    Recently I find lot of people going in for counsellings. Why people are unable to find their own solutions?

    Please do not give me the usual answers like work stress, they don't find time, fast moving world etc. I feel that there is something missing in today's generation that make people mad or restless and they go in search of a counselor.

    Please come forward with your views and experiences of this context.

    I have a strong opinion of my own regarding this. Let me find if anyone of your views matches with mine.

    regards,

    Vanaja
     
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  2. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Maybe the problems they are facing now is different from yesteryears!
    In my opinion, the people are not strong minded as before. They get easily depressed, disappointed, etc.
    The main reason maybe the vanishing of the joint family system, where you can get help or advice irrespective of the problems they face in that kind of family. The bondage will be there. The children in that family develop the attitudes of sharing, helping, be satisfied with what they have, patience and what not?
    Moreover they had somebody to pour out their emotions as well. Mainly, their grandparents will be their counselors. they will have 'their age cousins' to talk about' that age' problems., where they act as stress-relievers.

    Sriniketan
     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2007
    1 person likes this.
  3. srinivasan_vanaja

    srinivasan_vanaja Gold IL'ite

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    hi sriniketan,

    you are great! you got my opinion.

    yes there is no joint family system in this generation. our ancestors got solutions from their very own family members.

    a very good opinion:2thumbsup:

    regards,

    Vanaja
     
  4. cheer

    cheer Silver IL'ite

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    Dear vanaja,

    I think the reason of going to counselling is that, they are having more experience becoz they deals with different problems daily, so they know how to solve it.

    Secondly, they are unbiased, they listen both side & give there unbiased opinion & i think that's what all matters. Sometime it's hard to find out solution by ur own so instead of blaming to other better to get the solution from those who judge/advice us without taking anybody side.
     
  5. Padmash

    Padmash Platinum IL'ite

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    hi,

    when i first came to know about the counsellors i really wondered can they suggest better for someone's life than the person himself, sometimes ok person facing problem is unable to see what is there in hands, how to do and what to do. But this is really shortcoming in our society that we are going to consult counsellors for each and every small problems.
    Main reason for going to counsellor what i feel is that now people dont want to share their problems with parents or siblings, they think they can do it alone just get some advice from counsellor and problem solved. There is a big communication gap spreading in our society, which is main reason for counselling to professionals other than elders of the family. Few years back people used to tell their problem to siblings and parents and try to get solution if no help they used to consult reliable relative or close friend. But now these things are rare to see very few families we can see sitting together and planning.

    bye
    padma
     
  6. srinivasan_vanaja

    srinivasan_vanaja Gold IL'ite

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    dear cheer & padma,

    i too agree with your opinions. i had been to a seminar recently on counseling. it was quiet interesting and went for around 4 hours. since i had some other work, i had to break in between and go. the counselor taught, how each and every one of us can also become a good counselor.

    you know it was very useful where we can apply this and enjoy the results in our own family. a big surprise is, even the people in rural area come for counseling. i thought these people are more peaceful than us. oh! where we are leading to, God knows!

    regards,

    Vanaja
     
    8 people like this.
  7. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Vanaja,
    My two cents - likely to be "old-fashioned" as well !
    When we face a problem in our own life, however strong-willed we are, an element of self-pity creeps in. We are not able to look at the same objectively since we are too involved with the stress we are going through. Not only that, we refuse to accept the simple obvious solutions, because of the same two reasons of self-pity & stress.
    When we go to a counsellor, we look up to him as a "saviour" first because very often we do not know him personally & we are tempted to think, that he looks at our problem more dispassionately & ofcourse objectively.
    We have no guilt feeling or loss of privacy in "pouring" out to him, which is most important & relieves you of half the weight in your mind ! We can never do that to a family member because we fear, we may fall down in their esteem or they may take sides unfavourably, getting to know our mind.
    Now so many I L itse ask me for counselling - I think, not knowing me as an individual is the most convenient reason and their privacy is fully preserved, however delicate the issue which they want to discuss with me is. The pleasure I get when they write that they are back to normal is immeasurable. Not that I am great at counselling, no, no, not at all. A prod at the right moment from a stranger puts you back on the right track!
    Do you agree ?
    Last evening, I was writing for my culture thread, a post on Counselling in Gita. Here you have started a thread ! Is there any meaningful coincidence ??
    Love,
    Chithra.
    It is nice to see you back in full swing in I L ! Please keep it up !!
     
  8. srinivasan_vanaja

    srinivasan_vanaja Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Chitra Madam,

    Yes it is a coincidence. my previous reply would tell you the reason.

    the only difference between you and a professional counselor is you derive a immeasurable pleasure when your solutions work and the counselor takes his/her fee and moves to next.

    but this seminar which i have mentioned is a service done by that noble counselor (a woman) to the society. how this counselor treats her visitors is really interesting. for your info few - generally they do not put a table across them. they sit side by side and comes down to their (visitors) status of mind. the very most important factors of counseling is communication, listening and responding.

    John Heron, a British Counseling psychologist, suggests, that there are six strategies of helping people. If one follows these six steps, he/she can become a good counselor. I think i would stop here and would go in for our own discussions. If members are interested I am glad to give the details.

    regards,

    Vanaja
     
    1 person likes this.
  9. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Sorry, its me again with my flow of thoughts !

    The comfort that anonymity in counselling gives is immeasurable. Knowing we have been wrong or wronged, we literally bare ourseves to the counsellor, which we will never dare do to a family member.
    The very foundation on which the modern counselling works, is to allow the person to speak out his or her mind completely. It now empties all the "trash" (rather a crude word, I know !) in the mind & one is ready for a fresh "input" ! The counsellor identifies with you, sympathises with you (even though heor she knows that you are on the wrong) & then talks to you by which time you have developed full confidence to look up to the counsellor. Even if a known solution is suggested by the counsellor, it has a "fresh appeal", which impresses us.
    If a mighty person like Arjuna needed counselling from Krishna " to rise to action from inaction", what to talk of lesser mortals like us?
    Don't be shocked, if I come back again !!
    Love,
    Chithra.
    Please feel free to call me Chithra.
     
  10. sowminivibu

    sowminivibu Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Vanaja

    a very nice topic tht u have touched upon...the main reason for ppls going to councelling i feel is due to lack of support frm the family and also the confidence levels tht we have in each other is decreasing day by day.also we try to put false targets for ourselves and try hard to succeed but end up in a miserable failure....we look even at our family members like outsiders..tell me in olden days when u c ur sblings gro in their career and life ppl used to be proud and happy abt them...but in today's scenario,its all nothing but jealousy......ppl put themselves in a hard position of trying to achieve what his peer tries to achieve..at tht instant we even forget to evaluate if we wud be able to achieve the objective....

    so as the world is becuming a place for the survival of the fittest,i think counsellors wud only keep growing in numbers !!!!!!!!

    lov
    sowmi
     

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