I really don't know:(

Sorry to hear about the constant sickness! i do hope it gets better by the 3rd mnth..

anyways comig to the issue at hand, i hope ur DH has come back home and you are feeling better now.
About your present arrangement.. could i give a suggestion??
Change it.. avoid you going to ur parents & he going to his parents place.. as you said you get to meet him very less now.. obviously he too must be fed up of this arrangement.. thats the first thing that struck me when i read ur post.. this arrangement wouldnt work for me...
i dont mean to sound harsh, but what would be your alternatives if you didnt have both set of parents near by??
I admit i didnt have such a bad case of sickness, but have close frnds who have had really worse & no family on hand to help out daily.. they managed.. the husband & wife managed together.. when you live abroad , esp where home help is hard to get, ti gets tougher..
But you are in India.. get a maid, get the household chores done by her.. you take rest.. if you get good maids who can cook well, make use of that.. dont spend everyday at your parents & he at his aprents.. no wonder he suggests to go and stay there for the whole period.. that would feel like less stress on you for him..
This arrangement must make you both feel imcompetent to an extent right, like the main reason for your discontent now is becuase of this arrangement.
Make an effort, as you already know, he doesnt have any experience of such a bad case of pregnancy sickness... so get him involved, spend more time with him so that he realsies its not an act..
I have had exp where a guy we know couldnt believe a pregnannt woman could have such a bad case & be so hormonal when his wife got pregnant & had a real bad time , because hes never seen it with any of his relatives and all the ppl he knew here managed their pregnancies quite reasonably..we didnt know the wife much personally, but took couple of sessions to make him understnd there are such extreme cases too..
If you think having a maid to cook for you guys is not practical, my suggestion would be go together to each parents home.. take turns.. a week or 2 to one persons parental home & next 2 weeks to the other persons parents place.. try that..

make some changes to your routine , but make sure you are rested & eating properly.. then rest of the things would fall in palce... take care..

 

Tugga,

This is what I feel.Basically the arrangement itself is not great.Whatever may be the case you both need to be a team.If you both seperate your food arrangments then where is time for both of you to get bonding.He needs to be part of your schdule.Whatever may be the case,you eat food or don't eat food but it needs to be done as together.
Men don't feel anything especially for first pregency and then don't know ABC's of it and that get better with second pregency.I would suggest,get curry from your parents place or in-laws and make rice or chepati for yourself and eat dinner togther and spend time togehter in the week end.
May be you can pick some food for your husband in the week end or he can cook whatever he can.
But don't get angry on him becuase he might have different reasons to get angry on you.Beucase he used for active wife then suddnly if the wife was unable to take care of the stuff,he himself have to no clue how to take care of things.So both of you need to some time to understand new developments and I know you will be depressed with nosia and morning sickness.Read good book and have positive putlook and involve your husband in your day in - day out life and don't make seperate arrangements.May be with the arrangements itself he might have angry on you.So eat togther or don't eat togehter.
Just my 2 cents.Congratulation and happy pregnency.

 

Dear Tugga,

I second priya,to be frank ur arrangement itself is not right,u both would have opted for getting currys frm ur parents&inlaws home and have dinner together at ur home,i know handling pregnancy period is tough,but dont let this make u distant from ur DH,have an open talk with him and iam sure things will place in its place.Please dont stress yourself much,eat and stay healthy.

Good luck:thumbsup

 

Dear Tugga,
Being pregnant is not being easy on you. Frustration and helplessness seems to be a natural thing that one feels esp during their first pregnancy. And since you have agreed yourself that you have been spoilt at ur parents, you find this condition weighs a little more on you.

However the first thing that I felt on reading ur post was your eating arrangements seems to be totally wrong. Your hubby could probably have the impression that you prefer to be with your mom more that him or poking neighbors and friends could have made some comments. Why go to different houses for food? As said in one of the earlier posts, both of you should go together. If your parents stay closeby then maybe one of your mom's could come by once or twice a week and cook for you too.

You can probably take him along with you for one of your doctor appointments and if the doc explains your condition to him he would definitely understand what you are going through. I only see small misunderstandings and miscommunication which would definitely go away. Both of you need to talk (not yell..) and find out what is troubling each one.

Pull yourself up, tweak your arrangements a little, have a calm talk with each other and you should do great..

 

Dear Tugga,
First of all hugs and love to you. Please take care of your health and don't stress too much. You need to understand a few things.

• Some men don't understand the sensitivities of a pregnant woman initially.It takes themm some time to do so.
• Your Dh is a bit flighty..he always does this to you. So don't worry he will come back and be apologetic.
• Don't try to be a superwoman and try to do everything yourself. Why don't you hire a maid for cleaning and general cooking?
• Ask mom and MIL to pass on few curries,etc whenever they can.

Always involve your DH in Doctor's visits. Read a lot of pregnancy books and make sure DH hears a part of it as you read it out to him.

You are a smart woman. You can figure this out. Don't worry it takes time to set up a home and being pregnant at this time slows that process a bit.

Take care. You need to take care of yourself first but don't make the mistake of leaving Dh alone. Do things with him

FL

 

I always shut up, when my wife howls...just to say one dog has its day! When I shout its about two dogs in the manger..

 

ROFL :rotfl
Nah, I can never shut up if anyone howls :spin

BTW - when did Mals give you the Doc. Paanza title?

 

This is the best practice with such spouse... It really words Tugga.... Try out. Dont give any justification to support your act...

About the shirt thing - U know even a dye factory wouldnt do as good as I do with my DH's white shirts... they are alwys muddy pink, pale yellow or light grey in colour... Cheerup gal... and Never be starving, your darling little one would also starve if you... We dont want that naa... Huggs

 

Hi Tugga,

Congratulations on your pregnancy. You are really lucky to get such a loving and caring husband. Its always a different feeling to take care of the loved ones. You will very well overcome the MS after 3 months. So dear be happy and enjoy your pregnancy.

Regards,

Sound.