Hi I need suggestions for how to make my husband understand about his role as a father and husband or responsibilities of married men and also his intention now where untill 6 months ago he was ill treating me . his upbringing is very different from normal husband , where his parents always lived on spend every penny you have on hand now with out thinking about tomorrow . Because of this they have not made any thing of their own ( like House for living too ) and my mother in law give importance to her sister and brother . So my husband growing up when he started earning , buying expensive gifts to his Family and extended family . He didn’t have single penny of saving after marriage . I come from wealthy family and my mother did not ask or check about all these . today I am experiencing the difficulties . They got him married to me because of wealth ( I can earn well) We live abroad , he does not tel me what he does with his salary . He just pays house rent , my salary goes in school fee ( quite expensive in the country where we live ) , my daughter’s extra curricular activities fee and groceries and helper. it happened for the last 3 years . Even when I became pregnant second time , he said ‘ don’t ask me I want money , I give you whatever I am giving right now ( paying rent ) ‘ he often travels , he seldom stayed like he will be outside of home for 15 days a month. After coming to home , he was not spending time with my daughter to take her out and teaching her something , always overwhelming for me . Anyways I used to fight with him and ask his parents why your son is like that ? Ahh ,most of the Indian parents want their lives to be luxury and so son , do not care about daughter in law . I was treated like money making machine , as it was an arranged marriage . last October I came to other country on work . I wanted my duaghter to be with me so she arrived here recently . For him , he wants to give luxury to his family , his elder sister unmarried and stay with his parents ( she works as wel ) , he does not make his sister to spend single penny for the home , he sends money every month and whenever they ask . ( for rent , their expenses and house expenses ) I ask him , what expenses are you paying for me and my kid ? I live in different country for the last 6 months where my kid joined me recently ( he didn’t send me single penny untill I asked recently ) and he bought expensive car for his sister which I didn’t know untill I got to know , he lies on every thing to me. to create an impression that his family not living up to the mark . his parents throw money at street vendor , they buy anything without checking the price of it ( I personally ask the price of it is worth paying , to me it surprises me ) and even his sister . If I buy new TOPs , he will buy double the amount of cloths , saying you bought new tops . he restrict me every time from buying gold ornaments ( I tel him we have a girl ) . His sisters and family ladies buy a lot , he does not say anything . (in fact his family did to the extent where , he had gold chain before marriage , his family wanted to buy gold necklace for his mom and so used his gold chain to make his mom’s necklace , thinking he will get from us after marriage and when I asked him , he didn’t say anything about it and he always hid .) when his parents in town , he does not close our room door as well , thinking his parents feel bad about it . One day it happened ( his father saw me in nude ) where my husband left room without closing doors , his father least bothered . Next moment we were supposed to go out for outing . I cried with so much of pain and blasting at my husband all happens because of you . He said think your father saw it . I would not let my father also see . I didn’t want to spoil the moment because of me and so we went ahead for outing . I am if he was there he would not have made it . Or I am not sure how other girls would have taken this . I had a deep pain inside me . Whenever my family visit us , he never wanted to stand pose with us , outing with us , to the extent where , I booked flight tickets , giving lame reason later saying he can’t make it . I always took his parents for outing when he was out of the town and did things . but whenever I asked for his help whenever they were in town , he was giving lame reason to avoid . because of my husband insecurity of what his family feels for everything , will take to any extent in future . Because of this he never wanted to post our pics on social media or travelling or anywhere . What his family ( sisters parents and aunts think of it , saying leaving me and enjoying with your wife ) becuase of this he had an opportunity to take me to one of the countries he visited , he didn’t take . but today I have come on business trip and he travelled here . I am failing to understand this relationship and him . Now he comes back saying , so far whatever happened had happened , let’s be good . So much pain that I went through for the last 7 years even 6 months he beat me untill nose started heavily bleeding , where I had to rush immediately to hospital because I told my daughter that don’t go to his aunt home . ( they were tortured me and my family and telling badly about us to my husband , he was ill treating me in the first year of marriage) he bought a car recently to his sister , When we wnTed to buy car here which is a necessity , he said he does not have savings to give me and he gave me very less amount and I paid the rest of the amount , where my daughter and I lived on Budget tight untill I get my salary ( even to get groceries ) I told him , all these years , u didn’t give me any of your salary , today we wanted some money , u said u don’t have .what life we are leading ? think of you are fit for married life ? He says he has changed , but he acts and manipulates a lot to me . Which I became so depressed , now I am ok , although there is a challenge in handling kid and work and everything all alone . please pour in suggestions if there is online counsellor to make men the responsibility of the marriage or father or husband . I am sorry for the Long post . I have no other choice .