I love my daughter...

indigrl · Nov 11, 2009

So I had my 20 week ultrasound yesterday and it’s a girl. I was a little disappointed at first because I wanted another boy. I have gotten used to the idea and am really happy now.

My in laws (MIL and SILs) didn’t want us to have another kid. So my MIL was unhappy that we are having another. She kept making snide remarks about us having another child. Now knowing it’s a girl, she has gotten even worse making comments and not been talking to me except when necessary. It is very interesting since she has 3 girls of her own.

I am trying not to let this get to me but it is very hard because she lives with us. My husband can see that I am upset since last night but I don’t want to tell him. I am pretty sure he already knows.

Why is it that even being in US some have this perception that daughters are a burden? Especially coming from a woman who has daughters of her own. Who loves her daughters more than her son.

Manaswini08 · Nov 11, 2009

Tell her mind her own business and don't let her get you down.

Congrats on your new daughter. We have 2 of our own and couldn't be happier. You will have so much fun with her....enjoy!

padmaprasad · Nov 11, 2009

hi indigrl,

congrats of ur 2nd pregnancy. Even me and my DH like baby girls more, which my inlaws doesn't. They were expecting a boy and talk about boy even in words. But i ignore their words and keep going. I believe atleast there should be one girl in home, so that home will be fun happy filled home. Ignore ur inlaw words, stay healthy.

All the best.

satin · Nov 11, 2009

No matter boy or girl a child is a child and solely depends on their parents.I just feel like sharing this ,my co-sister delivered a boy(1s kid) and looks like she hate him and from the day she delivered she never liked him,she tells her hubby to take care of him,even few hours after he was born he was crying and my MIL told her to feed and her reply was "Let him cry"...this was just 2 hrs after he was born,he is 4 now and she still hates him,never cares for him,now her 2nd is a girl and she pampers and loves her so much,the reason she hates is when a boy gets married there will be another girl in her life and she tells he will forget his mother and a girl wont do like that it seems,she is just not ready to accept another girl in her life though she willcome after 25 yrs,she is a very very jealous type,what to say,such women are also there.Its not associated to this thread in any way but I wanted to share this with someone.

Vasumathy · Nov 11, 2009

Not in US, in India too its most dominant thought in not having girl children. Soon the world will crave for girls if this attitude continues!

Leave your MIL words & enjoy your pregnancy! Don't care about her!

lee50 · Nov 11, 2009

Hi Indigirl,

It is very important to be happy during pregnancy. I know of cases where parents are trying after having three to four children for a baby boy. Even my MIL wanted a baby boy but here I am a proud mother of a baby girl and it is I who is taking care of my baby not my MIL. The world will say many things you need to follow your mind.

Do not get stressed. You can go through the link and read of experiences:-
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/im-pregnant/54357-how-imp-happy-during-pregnancy.html

savitha14 · Nov 11, 2009

We are in 21st century, but their thoughts are little old too...... so we can't expect that they will change...... what we can do is, from our generation let us not have that kind of mindset and let us not induce that mind set to our children also....... This is what we can do for this society.

enlightened · Nov 11, 2009

Hey,
I have a boy and my second time around now...would love to have a girl...any kid is fine...after all they are our flesh and blood!

Make a pregnancy ticker

drmchsraj · Nov 11, 2009

wth... i thought that happened only in stories or in the old days or at least not so direct/'blatantly'. i don't know what to say to this... im saddened to know people still harbor such $h!#t#t#y ideas, blah.
but well, assure your inlaws thus: 'since you are all so concerned, eventhough it's a girl, ill strive to bring her up as a boy from day 1. no pretty dresses, only combat boots and gi joes and fistfighs. no cute mother-daughter bonding, instead only tough love will be dished out to her and she will be disciplined from time to time. sent away to boarding schools, be trained in soccer, and taught to burp and blashpemize and trivialize everyone around her just the ways boys do'.

archanajl · Nov 11, 2009

Hi,

I can understand your feelings. We can never change them and their bla...blah ideas about having a girl child. That too after having three daughters...how can they be like that..It is very difficult when they take it to the extent that they don't talk to you.

But the only thing that you can do is "JUST IGNORE THEIR DOINGS." It is your life. It is your daughter. U should be very happy during pregnancy. That is very essential to deliver a happy child. So, don't take it to heart and worry about this. Ur ILS probably will stop doing this once they find that u don't give importance to their words...so don't react...Be happy. Think of all good things u r going to do to ur lovely daughter..

Talk and think about only good things. Be positive and proud to be the mother of two lovely kids....

Love and regards,
Archana.