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I just cant understand..sometimes every word and thing he speaks is reverted on to me

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by mirrorimage, Nov 15, 2014.

  1. mirrorimage

    mirrorimage Silver IL'ite

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    simple....
    He always tells-- if I sit to eat something and even if by mistake some rice falls...he tells mean things..really mean things..like I am being careless..I dont kknow the value of money ...

    yesterday again,I sat to eat....even before something actually fell..he said something....
    Me :dont bother for such small thing in life...its okay...
    Husband:"when you pay money for carpet you will understand...."
    Me : what does that mean?? ,does it mean you pay and thats why I dont realize
    **(now the plate completely turned on to me)
    Husband: you are always like this. you misunderstand.....blah blah blah...and started shouting...

    am I misunderstanding something here???
    am I being wrong???
    I really start doubting myself for his words ...He makes me think as though its all my mistake.....really.....
     
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  2. Metamorphic

    Metamorphic Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: I just cant understand..sometimes every word and thing he speaks is reverted on t

    Hey mistakes shouldn't happen always .. they become habits.

    If it is always about rice spilling .......May be you seriously need to train yourself to eat rice without spilling around the plate .....
     
  3. thegirlygirl

    thegirlygirl Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: I just cant understand..sometimes every word and thing he speaks is reverted on t

    Was this a joke??? Or a serious advice?
     
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  4. thegirlygirl

    thegirlygirl Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: I just cant understand..sometimes every word and thing he speaks is reverted on t

    Dear Mirrorimage,

    Who cooks the food at home?

    Next time he spills or wastes something from his plate, tell him he does not value food because he is not the one taking the pain to cook it. He just gets it ready served on his plate to stuff it into his mouth.

    Tell him he too should learn to value it!
     
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  5. Shina

    Shina Gold IL'ite

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    Re: I just cant understand..sometimes every word and thing he speaks is reverted on t

    Hey dear please dont second guess urself. He is in the wrong for shouting and yelling at you. He needs to treat you with respect. He could have discussed his concerns in a respectful way but saying mean things and showing you down is very inconsiderate. From reading all your earlier threads it appears that he is a verbal and emotional abuser.

    But for yout sake do not get into arguments with him whenever avoidable. And work towards becoming financially independent. please do not have children until then.

    All the best dear.hope ur husband realises that caring for ur feelings is more important than the damn carpet.
     
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  6. RedRuby

    RedRuby Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: I just cant understand..sometimes every word and thing he speaks is reverted on t

    even if some rice fell down its not like you did it in purpose and its no reason at all to talk in such a rude manner to someone.
     
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  7. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: I just cant understand..sometimes every word and thing he speaks is reverted on t

    Are you guys in US...he may be worried about the money you need to pay when you vacate ...just put a plastic mat or a small area rug below table and you should be covered. Our indian curry spills leave marks and apartment people do try to extract hundreds of dollars for that.

    If this is not the case then you need to tell him calmly that you feel very humiliated by his behavior and explain your feelings .
     
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  8. thegirlygirl

    thegirlygirl Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: I just cant understand..sometimes every word and thing he speaks is reverted on t

    An adult that too! Not a child a child who is being trained on how to eat.

    Men! Save the world lord! They start growing horns if they are the sole providers.
     
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  9. mirrorimage

    mirrorimage Silver IL'ite

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    Re: I just cant understand..sometimes every word and thing he speaks is reverted on t

    Hey..Not just in US...I am observing this behavior right from India..even in India this used to be the case....
    I am not a child...I have understood...and not that I spill food like a child all thrown around..really not....
    I know ...but at times....when one or 2 things falls down..its an accident...everyone faces it.....He just wants perfection out of everything....
    Even if bed crumples after I sleep...he blames me...keeps asking..why is this bed so crumpled after you sleep...
    we have a shower room,And after I take bath the floor should not be wet at all..how is that possible???I have to come out and take towels right???he shouts for floor being wet after taking bath..I mean not completely wet...just few droplets strewn around..

    same thing happens when he does too...but I keep quiet ..thats the problem..Its just not in my blood to worry about small small things in life...I am emotional and I dont let others selfesteem to come down because of me....
    I find it non sensical...I mean its not a thing to be worried about right..we can set thing right...
    what is affecting is my own self...I feel I am not perfect..I feel something is wrong with me.....

    I agree..If I do some big mistakes its fine if he says...
    But these things??
     
  10. mirrorimage

    mirrorimage Silver IL'ite

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    Re: I just cant understand..sometimes every word and thing he speaks is reverted on t

    Yeah I agree mistakes should not happen every time.and It doesnt happen...He just have a predefined thoughts in his mind that it ll happen....
    I am grown up and I seriously know how to eat.....

     

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