I want to vent out my dislike towards my MIL here. I don't know, I just can't like her. She is like a disturbance in my life. If its anything about her, I just can't concentrate on what I actually do. I don't know why I feel so, everyone in my relatives circle say that I am the luckiest person to have had godlike IL's. I agree to some extent because my FIL is a saint kind and my MIL may also be a female saint kind but I don't like her that's it! It all started after my wedding (obviously) which happened 2 year back with a NRI that I had to quit everything in India and come behind him to set up a so called married life. Myself and my husband are like best buddies when it comes to just us but we are like enemies when its a matter of our respective parents. My husband and my MIL are like fevicol jodi (I am absolutely fine with them being the way they are) but my husbands unconditional love towards his mother makes him dance to her tunes. Both my MIL and DH are showing off kinds.. I don't know from where should I be starting... while I was shopping for my wedding, my DH and my MIL had told me that I should buy whatever kind of saree or jewelry I wanted so initially my impression was as if they don't mind spending but it was right after our marriage I realized that my DH is not so spending kinds. You need to give him a proper reason for whatever you buy like why do I need it? How useful it is? Is it worth paying so much? Is it going to go waste etc etc. This was a kind of disappointment for me because I am not that spending kinds, upon that my DH asks me questions on everything I wanted made me uncomfortable, that too having worked in India for several years and then being dependent to such an extent was something that I couldn't accept. However, I overcame it and I am kind of used to my DH's questionnaire's . My DH often passes comments saying getting married is an expensive thing in life, I never knew it would cost me so much that I had to go on debt and things like that. Eventually I realized that it was because of my MIL that my DH had to spend so much in spite of my father taking care of all the wedding expenses. My MIL wanted to show off, so she had distributed expensive sarees,dhoti-kurta and dresses for the kids in her direct relations, the 2nd circle and 3rd circle of relations, her neighbors, to some poojari in a temple, to some car driver who taught car driving to her other son, gold to all the girl kids in her direct family and the list goes on... my DH is fine with his Mother spending lacks and lacks of money on some people who my husband is not even aware of but he has questions when he needs to spend on me, I need to answer questions even today. You all might be thinking I might have asked for expensive jewelry or a dress or vehicle, no its none of these, its just some grocery, a small hand bag of worth 20$, some provisional stuff and yeah I can't go shopping all by myself. So this is my very 1st reason in not liking my MIL, that she can spend her son's money like hell and no questions asked but its not the same for me. Now comes the second reason, my MIL's family have a own house, my FIL is retired so he gets pension and therefore their expenses are taken care. They don't need any financial help as such but my MIL's brother's and sister are not financially stable so my MIL wants to be the "money plant" in their house and the source of money is obviously my husband!!! We had a kid immediately after our wedding (we had planning for 3-4 years but mistakes happen you see) and with just one salary it was really difficult to manage. I had some medical complications due to which the insurance had not covered most of the expenses and my DH had to payoff from his pocket, he was in debt due to wedding expenses, along with it we had to prepare for our new arrival and we had to take care of my mom's travel expense for my postpartum we were messed up. With all these coming along, my MIL though she was aware of each and everything, she was shamelessly asking for money to help her relatives who are lazy to work and enjoy the money that my DH sends them. Let me tell you the way she asks - beta, I understand its been hard on you that you have started a family and you are having a unplanned baby so i really don't want to ask any money from you but like always you know your father won't give me a penny and I don't know whom to ask. And my dhaanshoor husband is like - oh no mamma, 50k is not at all a matter for me, I will send you but you spend it on your waste brothers and a show off sister is what bothers me!! The fun part is my DH knows that the money is going for a waste and its not going to come back and he is OK with it.. (you know 50k is not a matter but to buy a 100$ breast pump is a big matter because its of no use after I stop breastfeeding!!). So this is my 2nd reason to hate her. I hate you MIL, I hate you very much. My IL's had visited us to see our kid and my DH insisted they stay here for 6months which I didn't wanted. I was very weak during my postpartum (I was undergoing psychiatric medicine which my IL's were not aware of and according to my husband if they got to know they would think I have gone mad!! ) and I used to get irritated for every silly thing and somewhere deep inside, my instincts had said its going to be difficult to handle a MIL whom I already don't like! Whenever I felt irritated with her, I stopped speaking to her., I never came out of my room. I was pretending to study, I was pretending to do something. I mean, instead of fighting with her I thought ignoring her was the best thing to me but I never knew that would become a big issue. She one day shouted at my DH saying you wife treats us really bad, dont I have a house, get us tickets tomorrow and we will leave!! This was more than enough for my DH to yell at me and we had real big fight and my DH asked me to get out of the house (though he dint really mean it) but this hurt my ego real bad. The next day I told my DH to book a ticket for me to India and I would go back for good because I was sick and tired of all that was happening . I told him cut and straight that I am anyways very independent if I am in India and I don't have to answer questions to whatever I spend on. I also told him that if you think you are scaring me or my parents I wont give a damn about it because I am anyways not going to stay at my mom's place, I have a degree and I can find a job for myself and stay independently. I don't care whatever happens to our wedding and our little child but for this moment I needed peace of mind. I don't know what really happened to my DH that he went numb, he was like -"I am really sorry to have shouted at you but it was all in rage and I didn't mean any of it " and he asked me not to leave him ever. I felt really bad for my DH, he is a sweet heart but it was all because of this mad lady that we both had had the biggest fight ever! and this is the 3rd reason for my hatred towards my MIL. My hatred MIL, I really really hate you. Yes I do. Myself and my DH had received some gold coins as gifts from close set of relatives during our wedding which I had left with my MIL. My MIL wanted to show off to her relatives that she bought jewelry to her grandkid and her DIL. She had planned to use the gold coins that we had got on our wedding. I insisted not to buy anything for me as I don't need any of those when I am abroad and that I would buy something for myself when I come to India for my brother's wedding. She was not at all ready to listen to me, she is like no no I have to get it and I will get it. I wanted to have a different kind of jewelry for which there was a little more gold needed (obviously my DH wont approve and I was not keen on answering his questions) so I had planned that after I started working I would put some more money and make a jewelry which I wished to have. But my MIL shelled out all those gold coins to buy jewelry for my kid and me. I was pregnant and I had wished for something from the bottom of my heart but that didn't happen. When I asked her why she had to get me jewelry and that I wanted to buy something of new pattern for my brother's wedding she bluntly tells me that-"don't worry no one will come and see you at your brother's wedding to check if you have repeated any of your old jewelry or if you have had a new or old pattern. I was so damn angry at her that I felt like biting her at that moment!! We had got those gold as our wedding gift and who the hell is she to spend it the way she wishes to? If she was so keen she should have spent her money. From the day my DH has been earning he's been sending her 15k every month and till date no one knows where she's spent them all. My mom also had requested her that if she plans to buy jewelry for me then my mom would also join her to choose, she told my mother that she would call but she didn't even bother to call nor tell my mom that she bought something. This is my 4th reason to hate her. Awww! I can never like you MIL, never... There are many many many more reasons to dislike her, after leaving from here she's went and told all her relatives that I don't speak, I have attitude and we both have had our disputes when she was here and that my son had scolded me left and right after which I behaved well. Somehow this news has reached my parents and they feel so disheartened about the whole thing. Now I don't call my MIL much and my DH insists that I call her every alternative day and that's such a pain to do so. I mean its so difficult to pretend to speak nicely to someone whom you don't like. I am visiting India this year and planning to stay for 3 months as my dad could not spend much time with my kid and its my brothers wedding too. Knowing this my MIL has already ordered my DH that if I stay here for 3months then the kid should be at her place for 1.5 months and 1.5months at my parents place! Ewwww! I feel like puking on her face. The sole purpose of staying for so long is for my dad to spend time and she has a problem with that as well. She's also told my DH that she would be getting my kid a gold ring (again show off) and she taunts me that my parents haven't given any expensive stuff for me or my kid after having a baby! Now that my brother's wedding preparations are going on, I think of the jewelry that I planned to buy and the piece of jewelry that my MIL has given me and the bitter fact that I can't buy anything new. This disturbs me so much that its 1am in the night and I am not able to sleep which is why I am venting it out here so that I can at least sleep. I know its a silly reason but its because my MIL was behind all of these that I get worked up. Off course there are many good things about my MIL but since I don't like her, I do not want to mention them here. Thanks a lot Indusladies for letting me dump the garbage that I have had in my heart and mind, hopefully I can get some sleep now.