I Feel Lost In This Home

Dear Kenny,

I feel you should move out from this relationship. My reasons are:

1. Today your daughter is a kid, but when she grows up she will not have any trust in marriage.
2. Happy soul creates a positive atmosphere, here I feel you are continuously unhappy. Resulting your near and dear ones will also be unhappy.
3. Moving out from a toxic relationship I think will help you in personal and professional growth.
4. Also it will help you in exploring new aspects of life and maybe the burden of fake relationship is far more heavy and draining.

 

OP all this stress will push you to lifetime resentment and severe depression. Please do marriage counselling with your husband asap. He must understand your situation. If he doesn't agree you give him ultimatum that you will move to your parents house. Please don't suffer in silence. I went through similar situation few years back and now I have permanent resentment about my husband. I want divorce from him but he doesn't want. Now my kids are grown up. Because of prolong suffering I ruined my mental and physical health. Now looking back I feel why I didn't I take action that time, why did I suffer, why did I tolerate. You must convey your feeling to his husband.

 

Hi,
Just my two cents. We all come alone and have to leave alone. In between what we do, is our karma. We are judged only by our karma, nothing else. So, as long as your intention is pure and your conviction strong, you need to believe in every step that you take for yourself and all those depending on you. Rest leave it on this Universe. Time is the decider and in Time, everything unfolds, gets revealed by and by. So, live every moment as if there is no tomorrow and without regret. Take care.

 

Here I tend to agree. Many issues gets solved or "cured" with passage of time. What was treated or considered burden is nothing when another huge burden is confronted. While working often we felt it when for our work our ears were still wet behind . We get to know as we mature which quarrel to pick up and which one worth the fight.

 

Just hang in there. If it is too stressful, find alternative ways to relax.
I usually go to gym, or yoga classes and spend extra hours with new mates there. After office, spending sometimes away from home makes me totally forget the issues at home. But as a married woman with a child, you can't always stay away from family. Eventually, you will have to return to home. But make sure, you spend quality time with your DD, or take her out for shopping, dinner etc to avoid meeting toxic people at home.
If nothing works, watch TV or play with your phone and make sure your brain is busy. Else, unwanted thoughts. confusions and more importantly self pity will kill you.

Psychology says it takes 21 days to forget whatsoever is nagging you. If you could manage this 21 days mark without further disturbing your mind, I believe it will settle down. So, stop thinking about this matter.

It is none of your fault. Unless you steal from your H to settle your parents in town.
Your parents are adults and they chose where they want to reside- Not your mistake
Your brother and yourself support their decision as children - The right thing to do
Your in laws are upset about this change - It happens, and they are being bad in laws
Your husband is unhappy and showing faces/criticizing you - It is his inability to stand up against his parents; hence he is showing his anger on an easy target/you.

You don't have to receive anything here. Just move on, and feel pity for others 'inabilities and insecurities.