I Feel I Should Have Achieved More In School, Work, In Life, Anyone Feels Like Me?

@Keet great thread started by you.

OP, I too feel I should/could have achieved more had there been some mentor to guide the path.

 

Addendum to #9
Another solid example from a Quoran - it could be cited from nearer home India is

• People I skills: Dhirubhai Ambani owes his success to people skills. He had an innate skill to charm any one.
• He easily impressed common investors of Gujarat to deposit money in his start up-Reliance; and then contacted Prime minister Mrs Gandhi - all on his own - to a grand party where he explained his dream project of Oil refinery to her.

• Common sense: Dhirubhai never went to a management or engineering school; he hardly spoke English or Hindi properly; but, he had a right approach to choose right man/woman for the right job.
• Spiritual: Dhirubhai was a spiritual person and that impressed Gujarati and Maharashtrian investors- business community

• Friendly: As a legend goes; Dhiru bhai Ambani always gave right kind of respect to all . Visitors from his village chorwad and nearby areas were treated too well by him.

• Conclusion: Management means managing men tactfully !

 

I think everyone goes through this phase in life. Every one of us who is middle aged retrospect the life that with life you can only connect the dots looking backwards. I don’t want to sound to be philosophical but I’m a firm believer in the universe and things happening for a reason. Sure, similar to how you can trace the good things happening in your life to some small random occurrence in the past, you can also liken the “bad” things to another event in your past. But life is what you choose to believe. It’s all a matter of perspective — you can choose to believe that roses have thorns or that thorn bushes have roses — it’s all down to how you decide to look at it.

I would like to be grateful — not only grateful to the things that have happened in my past that have made me the person I am today — but also to the things that are happening right now and even those that are yet to come.
And I know, like mine; sometimes it seems bleak and pointless, filled with endless questions of “why”— but if you take a moment to breathe and think, you’ll notice just how in balance and perfect everything is!

 

Dear @Keet ,

You raise an important question and I have been contemplating on this since you posted. Is it possible that getting a doctorate in one subject and changing careers to IT, making all that property and all that success has perhaps shown you your strengths, and seeing others who you perceive as successful, knowing your strengths now has you wondering if they did something different or better in their school days and that is what is making you contemplate on your past? Duh! I realize perhaps that is what is happening. There is no easy answer to that. Any which way I think, the first question that comes to my mind is "have you done your best?" and if you now as an adult feel you may have not done your best in your childhood, that question will continue to haunt you. If you add "in the circumstances I was/am in" to the above question, you will find some solace even if you think you are comforting yourself. But the truth is you are doing your best in the rest of your life.

You need to analyze and make some peace with yourself and your circumstances, successful or not. Think of it this way - most of life is nature vs nurture. Perhaps your nature is all that you are now and perhaps it wasn't nurtured as well back then (by you, your surroundings etc.). But again, life is not black and white and mostly gray. I am positive a lot of things that you did not even know about were nurtured and have helped you become who you are now. I just read this Bernard Shaw quote - "Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." And this creative process is work in progress..........I do believe we are all predestined for certain things and we become that to learn our lessons for this life time. That does not mean we cannot change - we all have to strive to change. One of my favorite uncles once helped me see some sense by saying, "life and what happens in life are like the lines in your palms - they look similar but are different (even if slightly). You come with one set of lines and you keep working and the difference is seen in your other hand."

You may feel that being top 20% of your field is success but that top 20% may be looking at something else as success. The question you have raised can only be answered philosophically and the simple definition of philosophy can be (that I liked when I searched up) - "Quite literally, the term "philosophy" means, "love of wisdom." In a broad sense, philosophy is an activity people undertake when they seek to understand fundamental truths about themselves, the world in which they live, and their relationships to the world and to each other." Which reminds of another quote that I use with my students - "Knowing tomato is a fruit is knowledge, not adding it to fruit salad is wisdom". Talking of success, I am a teacher, I don't know if I am top 20% of my tribe but I certainly strive. I am also told by many a simple "at least you are not wasting your time at home" a number of times. The truth is, it is my choice to be a teacher (after other jobs in the corporate world) and I am grateful I found out, rather circumstances led me to what I want to do in life. The joy I get is annoying to others. Really! There are also days I cry my heart out because of what I see in my population. I don't consider myself successful but when my family including my husband and children not only tell me "We would have been teachers too if it paid better" but actually teach (volunteer or tutor or mentor) on a regular basis, it makes me extremely happy. I feel they realize that happiness and contentment can come differently - they are practical about money/job/real world and are striving to answer that inner craving/calling also.

One of my favorite quotes is from my favorite author (like most people here know) "Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you." - Richard Bach. It really is up to you @Keet. I am also learning that taking some pride in our selves and what we do, being grateful for all that that has come our way and learning to be humble is the way to look at life. Our shadows are always present with us as long as that sun is shining down on us......we all lack vision one way or the other. You are talking of life, I feel that way (lacking vision) on an everyday basis even when I write and go back to read it or the way I taught a class. But we all we can do is look at our current situation and make course correction.

Sorry about the long response. I know I have not spoken anything different from what others have said but then you cannot ask such important questions and not expect introspection and a (long) response Make it a great day girl, just make it a great day! Don't beat yourself up! What you choose to do with "all that" is really up to you - your questions, your doubts, your fears, your dissatisfaction, your good things in your life. It is all a matter of perspective.

 

No one can be 100 percent satisfied with their life.

 

Same I had a friend in my school who always got the top rank and stood first in school but now she is not doing anything! Just married and a home maker!