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I feel cheated

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by wideeyedgirl, Aug 24, 2014.

  1. wideeyedgirl

    wideeyedgirl New IL'ite

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    We got married a few months back. DH and I were both IT professionals. We had a sweet pre-wedding courtship phase and a nice life so far. Before marriage itself we planned to go abroad and spend first few years of our married life in USA or UK. Because of that we did not plan a luxury honeymoon (we went to Ooty). Now DH says that he doesnt get onsite opportunity in his project. Since we both work for the same company, I checked with my hubby's friends and found that he rejected onsite opportunity. I get a feeling that he feels homesick. I was having dreams about spending our life abroad. Now I feel cheated... I dont know what to do...
     
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  2. littl

    littl Platinum IL'ite

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    OP - he still loves you and you too continue that . you says he feel homesick so you understand him well so stay in here with him, after all you are together is important and may be you both can plan for vocational trips to overseas ... Cheating is a big word to use in this issue.
     
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  3. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    There might have been many many reasons for him having rejects the opportunity apart from homesickness. It might have been:
    - too low profile for his experience
    - short term one or on a visa which can't be extended and requires long cooking periods
    - not enough salary for the place
    - not an appropriate place
    - assignment such that the spouse can't travel alongwith

    only your husband can explain. Talk to him directly: alternately, since you work in the same place, see if you can find yourself such an opportunity.
     
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  4. littl

    littl Platinum IL'ite

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    yes there could be any reason,
    what if he decides not to go abroad now after getting married. still you can talk to him directly but you don't have to worry about relation calling him cheater just cuz he is not interested in the things which you want him to do. It's not so important where the couple residing but staying together is.
     
  5. Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    'Cheated' lol :)
    immature words from newly wed can be overlooked, age and experience will help, but pls grow up.
     
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  6. Weasly

    Weasly Gold IL'ite

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    Just hv an open discussion with him! Tell him how u feel, its not the end of the world dear! If he knows how strongly u feel abt this maybe he tries harder n gets a better opportunity!! Ur lives together has just started, there r going to be lots of opportunities!!

    As guessho as stated there must hv been a strong reason for his rejecting the offer!
     
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  7. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    He may have say yes to you because he do not wanted to say no and make you feel disappointed.
    You may discover more such a things as time goes.Speaking from own experience. I am a newly wed too.
     
  8. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    You might feel like " I dint sign up for it.."..but give the guy a chance. May be he didnt like the opportunity.
     
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  9. oysterzzz

    oysterzzz Gold IL'ite

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    Now that you came to know, he has rejected many onsite opportunities,why don't you plan a luxurious international honeymoon......
     
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  10. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op...just ask him why and listen to his explanation with an open mind. Do let him also know about your wish.Ask him if he would be willing to go with you if such an opportunity arose for you.
     

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