I feel alone and rejected

Einstein21 · Oct 12, 2015

Hi ladies,
My 5 year old DD does not care about me.she chooses her dad for everything.
If it's a weekend I have no connection with her at all.
On a weekend,she wakes up in early morning 6:00 am and expects me to run and jump as soon as she is aware that my eyes are open too.
I say good morning and wait for 5 or 10 minutes to get up from bed completely.
She will not talk anything.just gets down from bed and runs into kids room where her dad sleeps throughout the night.
My H doesn't talk to me in the day or in the night....he is busy in teaching her Reading and writing English words.though me and H have same studies qualification engineers in computer science from India,he takes control of teaching English for our DD in kindergarten.i did not see this as an obstacle between me and DD's bonding.I saw some changes in my DD talks after H started his writing and reading English classes.she is going far away from me I feel.i will not push her to make her learn at home.i thought that I am sending her to preschool and paying fees in a private pre-k.she will learn in preschool...
My husband has to discuss with me what are his plans and how it is helpful for her or else she may lag behind in public school.he has no idea how he has to keep me updated about anything he is doing.
he doesn't spend time with me.i didn't get a chance in last 2 days to tell about this getting far away from each other.i feel so sad and helpless when I am finding there is no time for me either for my DD or my H.

I even started teaching basics of my mother tongue telugu when her school gave holiday on 2 Fridays.hmmm she chats to me and seems happy and relaxed on that day.as soon as she sees her dad she leaves me alone and forgets about her mommy.
pls help me...

dear moderator,
i am not sure of the correct forum to post my thread.i am sorry if I posted in wrong place.pls move my thread to a related forum.thank you.

yellowmango · Oct 13, 2015

She will not talk
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anything.just gets down from bed and runs into kids room
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where her dad sleeps throughout the night.
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he doesn't spend time with me.i didn't get a chance in last 2 days to tell about this getting far away from each other.i feel so sad and helpless when I am finding there is no time for me either for my DD or my H.
Click to expand...

Why are you both sleeping in different rooms?
How are husband and wife going to be close if they don't even share the same bedroom.Just because you have a child and things become a bit inconvenient does not mean you separate your sleeping arrangement.This is the fastest way to create distance between couples.

Op...you are fortunate that your husband is taking so much interest in your child and gives her so much of his time. Most men don't .Cherish this and use it your advantage.Use this time to finish of your other chores so that you all have more time with each other.
Appreciate their time together. A child bonding with the father is a wonderful thing .When they are busy ....take some juice for them and join them during this break.

You wrote that she enjoys her time with you too when husband is not around.That is great. Make the most of it.watch and play educational games with her.

Don't feel bad that she rushes to him the moment he comes. If he was with her and you had come home latter...she would rush to you too.You both are a team .

They may not say it or mention it,but their lives revolve around you. You are the nucleus of the family...so why feel lonely.

If I were in your place ,I would take this opportunity to go and take a nap....or bake a cake so that both f them come stiffing after their 'class'.
Cheers op...you have a lot of years with your little one .Enjoy every day.

Copy pasted from your thread in kiddies forum.

soulful · Oct 13, 2015

OP, I have heard children go through phases where one parent is suddenly more favourite and the other becomes invisible. My friend has a daughter who is 8 years old now and is in the "Daddy Dearest" phase. She barely communicates to her mom but my friend knows she will grow out of it. YM's suggestions are very noteworthy. I have not read any of your other threads, but unless something is going on and you think DH is influencing her against you, there is nothing to fear. Concentrate on strengthening your relationship with your DH. Sleep in the same bedroom all 3 of you. Take initiative to communicate with him so he will gradually start sharing with you. Go to parks, picnics and take a vacation. Go to a place where you both have something to do together and not just kiddie stuff. Best Wishes, Soulful

Iamagoodgirl · Oct 13, 2015

op is it sudden or things are like this from start?

Jas8085 · Oct 13, 2015

oh dont get me started OP!! My neice (sisters daughter) used to run to her father the moment she sees him!! He walks through the door and its like my sister disappears. This happened until she was 5-6 yrs old. She is 9 now and is closer to mum than dad.

During that daddy daddy phase, my sister used to have a nice long shower, relax and read a book while the tired dad (just back from work) was drowning in daughters love!!!

Enjoy it

Einstein21 · Oct 15, 2015

Hi soulful,

thanks for taking ur time to reply.

We have moved to a new city 2 months back.DD and me don't have indian friends in our apartments.DD loves to talk and play with her(American) school friend.DD,me go to swimming pool in our apartment in weekends.H parents live in old city in their daughter house.He travels to old city in weekend once in 15 days.I don't have car also at that time.DD and me cannot go to even a park or a mall.
H is going through a hard time professionally.He has high BP and type 2 diabetes.
He don't have time or cares to work out in gym.i tried my level best to make him go to a gym.i told him that I will help DD in doing homework and practice words.he won't bother about his wellness or my concern even when he is free to finish his task.

DD loves swimming and also attended classes in last 3 summers.she hasn't joined in class here yet.

I need suggestions on how should I handle his lazy and stubborn attitude of his health.he knows what to do to keep his weight in control,to avoid eating rice in meals.
he ignores his doctor follow up appointments.oh my god...pls help me.