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I Don't Know What To Do, But Feeling Really Miserable Now.

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by SGBV, Aug 29, 2019.

  1. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    I don't know what to do, but feeling really miserable now.

    My trouble with my in laws started since marriage. They even went up to abort my baby when I was pregnant for the first time. They tried to separate us, and made my H marry someone of their choice and what not.
    Due to their interference and cultural/religious differences we always had issues in our marriage, and at some point we were at the edge of separation too.
    So much have happened in the first 5 years of our marriage, but something in us/something in our love kept us going.
    Since we were inseparable, our PILs changed their targets and by that time it was my co-sis and BIL who became their prime target.
    During that time, I had my second kid, and that was a girl. MIL was fond of girl kids, and my DD bonded so well with MIL.
    Since then, our relationship has gotten better and in laws have become an important part of our lives.
    Though there were misunderstandings (obviously religious and cultural), we handled them maturely and moved on in life.
    I forgave all the past disturbances, and started genuinely welcomed them to our home in the coming years.

    Its been just over a decade since we are married. Everything goes well in life but with so much hurdles. Specially my H has lost his real self, lost his self confidence, lost his career, and he has changed so much from a lively modern youth to a very dull, negative, depressed middle aged man.
    I too had so many disturbance in the name of illness, and kid's sudden illness etc that affected my career and peace of mind.
    But we grew close with God, and always prayed for our better life.

    During this, a famous pastor from India visited our place for family blessing and he sensed some evil spirit in our home. The team prayed over in the coming days and found it was a witchcraft dug in our land. They eventually removed it, and asked us continue to pray.

    It all happened like a cyclone in our life, that we witnessed the witchcraft in naked eyes when it was removed and it all seemed real. According to the pastor, the evil doer was a blood relative, other than that he refused to comment. But we did not have any blood relatives who had enmity against us back then. (or at least we didn't think much about others). So, we concluded it must have been our PILs, and started staying away from them.

    The pastor strictly asked us not to fight back with anyone, or not even to tell others about this removal. But take life as it is, and let everything to God.
    But my H - out of furious, rushed to his parents' place and scolded them for this evil matter. Though they swear that they were innocents, they did not take any initiatives to convince us.
    Later we heard they went on to pray to Goddest Durga (Kali) to punish the real culprit asap.

    Later that month, my H suddenly told me that someone (I still don't know who, but he tries to convince me) directed him to a Hindu priest and the priest told the actual culprit was my SIL (Brother's wife) and some other people. According to the priest my In laws may have connections with the team, but they are not the direct culprits.

    I thought my H is lying to save his parents or he may be bluffed by PILs to speak like this.
    We waited, and trusted that God will show us the culprit.
    In the mean time our marital life blossomed. My H got a better job within one month and regained all his lost happiness with that.
    Since PILs interference were NIL, we did not have any issues in our marriage in this 1 year.

    Eventually, we forgot everything and moved on with life. Still we don't talk to PILs, and the relationship has ended there.

    Within 1 month after the removal, my brother got admitted in a hospital for an unexpected sudden sickness and later recovered after a surgery.
    Soon after he and SIL had marital issues, and that went on for so many months.
    Once it was almost over, their 5 year DD got diagnosed with Leukemia and it has shattered the entire family.
    Whereas, my PILs grew good. BIL got a child recently after 6 years of childlessness. MIL and PIL are doing OK despite of their old age.

    When connecting the dots, we get a complete different picture about everything. We are unable to leave them as coincidence now.

    My bro is angry that it was my PILs who had done BM to his family, because it was him who stood by my side when things were sour with PILs. Besides, he trusts the same, because the pastor had asked us not to talk about BM removal to anyone, as the culprits could sense it and redo it. Since my H revealed it to his folks, my bro doubts.

    My H seriously doubts SIL (bro's wife). She and her parents already had a huge doubt about my bonding with my bro. They suspected my bro would share all his wealth to me. Specially they were worried about my marital problems, and bothered what if I had to separate from my H, what if my H continue to stay jobless etc... hence openly fought with us to stay away from bro.
    Though I am financially independent, and earn as much as my bro, those village people weighed us based on my H alone.

    Besides, this is what the Hindu priest revealed.

    And according to him Goddest Durga has shown the culprit more than once. But I don't understand this.
    If it was SIL or her parents, then why would my innocent Bro and his innocent child have to suffer.

    Both my in laws and my bro's in laws (including SIL) are from a rural part, where BM and stuff are common. They have close connection with certain Indian cities and priests who are involved in doing and removing BMs.

    Our family is rather modern, and lived in a metro since many years have no clue. But when things go beyond our hands, we are very much carried away too.

    We are seeing a pastor (not sure how capable he is) next week and see whether he could give an answer to the puzzle.
    The older pastor has returned to India, and can not be reachable.

    Even if the no answer is given, we will live with this problem all along. What can we do?
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2019

  2. IL86

    IL86 Silver IL'ite

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    @SGBV , as someone who believes BM I can understand what you are going through. Chances are both set of people might have performed BM on you. But you need to see who would want your relationship with husband to deteriorate, who would benefit from it, I guess your sil wouldn't do things to break your marriage because that would cause harm to herself, at most she might have tried you to get away from her husband. As I have gathered from your previous posts you need to be really vary of your Pil's, and as far as I understand your DH telling about black magic removal has caused this issue. I know in India people who remove BM wouldn't want the details out because that will cause reversal of remedy and Ur DH insisting it's not his parents indicates he is again being trapped in that web. When people realise their BM had been removed,they go and do more of it with vengeance. I am telling this from my own experience,so be careful and do not let any details out.
  3. sunshine1970

    sunshine1970 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi I really respect you SGBV and you give such wonderful advice. I am so proud how far you have come and take a lo of insipiration from you. To the point that I was thinking to visit Sri Lanka as part of my holiday and i was like I should PM SGBV she sounds like a great friend. SGBV you educated and very capable lady. I have read your threads related to BM and understand your stress and uncertainty. I think just put the issue to bed. You seem like you have wonderful people around you that care about you and you don't want to lose that. The main thing is the BM is gone (if you believe in this stuff, I personally do not). You might put everyone under magnifying glass and make incorrect assumptions. I think just try to forget about it and move on. If your SIL or your IL did this to you, they have themselves to face in the mirror. God has a higher court. I just think this stuff is to difficult to anlayse and way to many assumptions have to be made. I hope you don't mind this advice as it is coming from a person that has a great deal of respect for you.
  4. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    Continue praying daily morning evening with entire family. Pray for ill people , help less fortunate ones.
    I too had many problems, though I'm religious. I didn't opt of Pooja, homams, Havans, donations to rich temples, or priests. Only went to temples.
    I went to see my cousin's kid in hospital for a minor issue. While waiting in reception, I saw family with a 8 babymonth waiting for heart surgery. They didn't have enough funds, but hospital was kind enough to post that in notice board and volunteers asking to help the baby.
    That time I had extreme problems. Suddenly my husband said we will pay for that kid. We paid for that baby 1.25 laks immediately. Though we too have loans, we aren't super rich. Something we felt should help. That baby's name was Rachak means protector. After that I feel positive. From then my dh donating blood.

    I suggest pls lend a helping hand for your brother's child. My aunts love me like daughter. I believe you too love her. Shower your love, time and money to her. Brother wife won't do. If she intended to do, she would know it has reverse effects. Evil minded people do.... God is watching everyone. Tell your husband it's not bro wife or his parents. Pray and God be with you.
    In Vedas they say God is omnipresent, he is everywhere, watching everyone.
    MalStrom likes this.
  5. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks a lot.

    I would say, BM could do nothing to our family so far. Or at least, we had the needful strength and power to face the effect; hence we are not broken.
    It doesn't underestimate the effect BM had on us.
    Unexplained health issues, struggles at work, marital problems etc..etc.. were there. But we fled with the wind, and coped well.

    I think, it was our faith, it was our prayers, it was the protection we had from God that kept us going.
    Eg: I had a mysterious throat pain for 5 long years, that was so intense that I could not speak or eat or even swallow my own saliva at certain point. This pain mysteriously comes and goes during those 5 years (earlier like once or twice a week, and then it stayed for weeks, and then returned after 6 months, and then it stayed for 1 year but with mild complications, then became intense.... so it varies)

    I checked with so many ENT consultants throughout the country, and then in India, and then in Singapore and even in Germany once. No one could find the cause of it. Everyone suspected of different causes, and treated me accordingly. The pain even cheated the Drs with false improvements, and made us pay a lot.
    I had to undergo different type of cancer screenings, and they were scary.
    But on a positive note, I did not lose anything in my life during those 5 years of pain. Pain became part of my life, and I've learnt to cope with it. I had career advancements, my insurance covered all the treatment costs, and I even had nice vacations during all those medical visits to abroad.

    Then came another issue in my right leg, and Drs suspected it as advanced stage high risk lymphoma, but the MRI and other tests showed nothing. Later that too mysteriously gotten back to normal.

    My son suffered with Dengue, but his counts remained more of less unchanged, that too for around 300,000 despite of being Dengue positive.

    Dr suspected a hole in my DD's heart, and I had to take her to ER and Echo tests immediately, but again, nothing was shown and she was declared perfect.
    Everything happened at different places, different hospitals... so there is nothing about Drs here. It is just an unexplained mystery.

    I was someone who had never believed BM and always expected a scientific proof before accepting anything. Being an educated girl from a well educated background, no one in my family had ever believed BM before.
    But now, after experiencing all this, and after seeing a BM is being removed from my naked eyes, and that too after experiencing the normalcy in life upon removal, I am not a fool to keep on rejecting it.

    But I understand other's POV here. Of course it is not easy for you to accept it or reject it based on others experiences. There are so much fake stories here and there to top it up.

    It is not something to brush it off just like that. It is not something to forget the moment it is removed. I will keep on researching it till my find finds an answer
  6. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    I don't suspect SIL directly. She is an innocent girl too.
    But her family, being in a village can be carried out by others.

    We had a distant relative, who was very much in to evil stuff. We never had any relationship with them previously.
    But after my marriage, we came to know that they were very close to my PILs. That's how we got re-connected with them. Later on, they acted as if they were my H's side and stood against us whenever we had marital problems.
    In fact, this family may have influenced PILs to do BM against us (of course on the pretext of separating H from me, or making H live as their puppet). Since MIL too wanted the same, she would have budge it.

    The same evil family is related to my SIL. Because SIL is none other than my maternal relative.
    They already have familial connections, but during the marriage proposals their unity became stronger.
    Even during my bro's wedding times, we never suspected of any BM in anyone's life.

    Later, we came to know that this evil family is now confusing my SIL and her parents against us, and they reveal all the issues that I and H had to them.
    Because of their interference, and because of my PILs interference my SIL's parents had lots of issues with us. They desperately wanted to separate my bro from my life fearing our closeness may hard their DD's future.
    There were so many issues in the first year of my bro's life, but later we smartly cut of all the ties with this particular evil family from all fronts.
    From then onwards my bro had a very good marriage. SIL started bonding so nicely with us, and we never had any issues.

    Now, the BM removal happened in my home last year, and then all of a sudden everything changed mysteriously in my bro's house.

    When connecting the dots, I only see some issues....
    - My bro's driver has been also hired to drive that evil family occasionally.
    - That driver would initially reveal how this evil family go to certain temples, priests, remote places to do BM and make this driver throw dusts to some homes in other places. They give him money, but after a point he refused. He even said that he refused to drive for them. But in one FB post, I saw a recent pic of him in their car (selfi). Money can buy anyone.
    But he continues to drive for my bro and he is not just a driver but much more than that to him. I mean he has access to everywhere at my bro's place like a relative.

    SIL's mother is still in touch with that evil woman, despite of all the fights. Therefore SIL has stopped talking to her and they are no longer in touch with my bro's family. But this woman (SIL's mom) was the problem creater and wanted her DD to return to her native with family, instead of staying at her H's city.

    I am being a detective now. But I hope I can find an answer very soon.

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