i dont know...but i jst wnted to write this..

shefalimehta · Dec 30, 2012

i have recently joined IL and have posted a few posts. i dnt know whether i should write all this or not , i m little hesitant .

i was quite young wen i got into a relationship with one of my nest frnd, i was in school dat tym,quite young. initially he proposed me and after a long tym i said YES to him(coz i never wanted to get into all dis n just concntrate on my studies) but then i actually felt for him n it all started. after a year, he went for his graduation to some other city n we had a long distance relation for 2 years. it was very sweet, we had alot many fights but then we always use to make up for that.. slowly i dnt knw what happened he started moving away from me.. i tried hard for 6 months to save my relationship , i use to be polite n hear anything he would say..cry alot but still i loved him so much dat i cud not afford to loose him. but then one day he told me dat he like somebdy else in his clg n wanted to brkup.. i was totally shattered asi was very much emotionally attached to him..i actually loved him..it was not just attraction or teenage relation but i actually felt for him in three years... n i cud not really take it..i cried alot .begged him not to do this but he kept ignorin me...his frnds kept puutin up status n comments related to the other grl n my ex also blocked me from his social ntwrk site..i was so shattered dat i tried to commit suicide ..i know dat was crazy but i just cud nt help myself..cud not take that pressure .. i got operated after that n was hospitalised but inreturn i got a no reaction from his side... he said he dnt care evn if i die..n his fmly asked hm to stay away from me...he changed his nmbr..n i cud never contact hm aftr dat... i know i was wrng doin such a stupid thing to myself ..i realised my mistake..

its been 2 years that all dat happened but m nt yet over with it... i cry evry nght still thnk abt him... i know he dnt even remember me now n he's happy with his new gf but i dnt know if its love or wat stupid thing that have not yet allowed me to move on.. i have started hating being in a relationship, i refuse to get close to any guy.. i evn fght with my mom wen she talks abt my mrg.. i have becum anti-social..dnt talk much...dnt share any feeling wth anyybdy..jst cry wen m alone thinkin abt all dat happened.. i dnt know how ppl move on.i srsly dnt knw..evn aftr 2 yrs i see myself at same plce where i was. feel sick n hlpless..dnt knw when will all these flngs get out my hrt..i wish i cud jst go bck in time n correct all my mistakes..but then regret is for loosers.. n i dnt wna b a looser..i just want to come out of this..

i know it wud appear stupid to many of u...cz u find it kiddish but i dnt knw if thats being kiddish..then whn will i grow up.

p.s- i cud not find a suitable thread i hope the moderators wud put this at rght place

Anitap · Dec 31, 2012

You are not able to move on because you refuse to see the truth that he does not want you in his life anymore.

Live your life well and show him what he missed.

Betrayal is hard. But every person experiences some form of betrayal at work / marriage / friendships etc. we cannot keep shedding tears all our life for people who hurt us.

Why give so much importance to another person?

fencesitter · Dec 31, 2012

ever considered taking counselling/therapy? **** happens, happens to every one. with time most of us are able to make peace and move on. suffering alone will negatively affect your loved ones life also. seek help.

Uttaraa · Dec 31, 2012

In continuation to what Anita stated ..

Why give so much importance to another person?
Click to expand...

Start with loving 'self'. And all the things you did for your ex when you loved him - glow at his smile, delight at his presence, jump from cliff to keep him happy - you would start doing for yourself. Coz you cannot see yourself in a pitiable and unhappy state when you love self more than anything in this world. Rest falls in place..

And then later you will find someone.

tulipzz · Dec 31, 2012

He doesn't deserve you. Kick him (and his thoughts) out of your head ! You are wasting your time

rose8282 · Dec 31, 2012

Congratulations. You got rid of an idiot while you could. You don't realize how lucky you are. Imagine being married to this ungrateful fool and being in this situation. Maintain some dignity and respect. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

prettydevil · Dec 31, 2012

Shefali... this happens dear.... cannot blame you alone, age also plays a major part here. but now gone is gone.
that guy used you, you must infact hate him. But thts why it is said - Love is blind.

Now move on girl. try to explore yourself. all these years you just cornered yourself at one place. Try mixing out with people and making new friends. I completely understand, how annoying it must be when your parents must be nagging you for marriage, But it is for your good only. Even if you had married this guy, I bet you would have landed here in this forum venting about his sick stories. So whatever happened, has happened for your betterment.

Start talking to the guys atleast, whom your parents have selected. This way you can turn your mind away from him and will also be a fresh start for you. Now stop crying for him, get up and get going with your life. You fill find many friends in Singles forum who have moved along in their life. their stories might be able to motivate you.

Now get up and this new year get a complete fresh look - do your hair, facial, mani, pedi etc etc..and make yourself happy. Remember he was just a "part" of your life and NOT your life.

Good Luck to you

DivyaBharati · Dec 31, 2012

Being rejected by someone is the worst feeling on earth . Few years back I was at your position but I pulled myself up by concentrating on my career and now iam happily married ....
Your life should not be dictated by others .... Life is a gift and you will never get back the lost time so try to come out of your house and see life...
If needed take some counseling sessions but Plz don't waste your life thinking about the things you can never change .... Don't spoil your future and youth and he is not worth it... Trust god and may be god wants to give you some better person than this dumbo ex and god will definitely teach him a lesson in future

mommynow · Dec 31, 2012

Never ever cry for the person who don't deserve your tears.Thank GOD that you got rid of him before marriage itself. What will you do if he cheated you after marriage? Come out from the dark,start socializing, involve in your favourite hobbies or some kind of activities, if the situation is very worse you should immediately go for counselling.

Try reading the book, LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT by preeti shenoy, the story is almost same as yours.
All the very best. Cheer up girl, life is what you make it:thumbsup

Naksh · Dec 31, 2012

In ansoonon se kisko kya hua hansil
Mana kehna hai asan nibhana hai mushkil

Wo to nahin tha teri wafaon ke kabil
Jane kya soch kar tune de diya apna dil

Teri zindagi teri hai kisi ki amant nahin
Jab chahe tod de aese ek imart nahin

Is baar dil ka sauda karna na yun bewajhah

Bhool ja Jo hua use bhool ja

Khud ko na de yun saza! un yadon ko bhool ja

If it makes u feel any better, there ve been/are many in ur boat...leave that small boat and join our cruise lol. hehe.

bhool ja - shaan - YouTube

Working? if yes. Super. Else. Work towards it to deviate. Consider yourself lucky, today or tomorrow it had to end noh? now cheer up. else I will cry :biggrin2: ...trust me..it'll not be like shaan's stone :biggrin2::boo: