I Am Ringing The Warning Bell. Are you Listening, Ladies?

varalotti · Jan 19, 2007

Thanks Sihi!

Dear Sihi,
All of us are guilty of poor listening one time or other in our lives. Listening, especially active, participative listening requires more maturity and higher spiritual growth than talking.
Counselling is 99% listening and 1% talking.
Very flattered to know that my thread will improve your listening skills.
Thanks again, Sihi.
sridhar

varalotti · Jan 19, 2007

Enjoyed Your Poetic Response, Seena!

Moved by your great act
Of composing a poem with tact!
I did attempt to versify a fact
That we in ILites listen; thats our pact

Sorry for my poor attempt in mimicking your poetic attempts.
thanks once again, seena
regards,
sridhar

varalotti · Jan 19, 2007

Thanks, Kamla!

By your profuse words of praise you have raised the expectations of the ILites that I have to run faster to stay where I am.
By discussing about these aspects, by posting about gossip and listening, I do not mean to stand one up above the others who read the thread. Whatever deficiencies Sudha and others admitted openly in the forum, I have in abundance. I was looking for the right place to make the confession. And your wonderful post provided me one.
Now thinking over the matter I find that husband-wife conversation and listening as practised by them inter se, could be the subject matter of another full thread. Have already noted the points and am building up enough matter on that. Stay tuned, Kamla. as I stir up another hornets nest.
About the authorship of my books, also I need to confess a humbling experience. My discussion with my publishers reveal that though my books do sell (one daily ordered 100 copies of Vetriyin Vidhaigal in one go to be distributed to its reporters and staff) the sales are not as brisk or as great compared to other simple self-improvement and motivational books. The publishers admit the quality but says that by itself does not guarantee sales. Frustrated, I called up my friend, who is a much published author. She told me, "sridhar, it is not important that your books sell now. The books that sell well today might be forgotten tomorrow. Your books will start selling slowly but will sell for a very long time. You are not a seasonal author."
To hear such beautiful words from another writer was a fulfilling experience and a humbling experience as well. Do I have the heart to repeat such words to a fellow writer? I am still questioning myself, Kamla.
At times you make me think a lot just by your beautiful words of appreciation.
Thanks Kamla,
sridhar

varalotti · Jan 19, 2007

Thanks Anjana!

Dear Anjana,
Not only you, Anjana, I also have a long way to go. Perhaps longer too. The idea of my posting is a thread like this is to just remind ourselves of the journey. My post might have been the lead-post in this thread, but I am a fellow traveller with you all in the great journey of self-discovery.
The thread is factually based on the deficiencies found in the author of the lead-post.
Thanks for the kind words,
regards,
sridhar

aishu22 · Jan 19, 2007

Hurray im ready to listen now!!!

Dear Sridhar,
I tried hard to listen , listen, listen and finally listen (read) the whole discussion on listening. It was wondeful.Thought Provoking.

Honestly now i have a different perspective about listening.Right now ihave 2 trainees in my team and for the past two days listening to them made a huge difference in their learning and the f.b i got for my training from them was really good. Hope im not boasting about me, but wanted you to know that i have really benefitted by learning to listen to others.

Thank you for guiding us!!

Best Regards,
Aishu.

Vidya24 · Jan 20, 2007

hi

Varalotti,

Since I read yr post, I tried to watch myself. I realised I listen, but not good enough. Sometimes (well, many times) I don't let people complete their sentences. Even on online chat, I seem to have a parallel line of chat running, always out of sync with the other. So, your thread was motivating.Thank you.

Srirenjeni,

U may join, wear pink flannel PJS with bunnies on it. As for u planning,:x :bang

Kamla,Radha,Vandhana, Sudha,

No more PJ party talk here. Cant poach Varalotti's thread.

regards
Vidya

radha_chennai · Jan 20, 2007

ok

ok vidya .you are right . with a heavy heart i will stop partying here. haha

radhavenkatesh · Jan 20, 2007

Sorry for my late response am still listening ( reading ) to all the posts hope mine is the last one so tht when i talk u people will listen
gud to see few discussions here rather than all wah wahs! after seeing three weeks of wednesdays frm varalotti i was also having a feeling tht ppl have all gud words for him v gud but it shd be a discussion forum isnt it i dont see much of arguments or debating on a topic on all pros and cons on v gud topics which hes selecting and writing maybe hes all correct bt dont we have something else to say?
radhagaru helo i appreciate ur feelings its definetly a discussion forum u r free to tell ur opinion but at the same time the whole thread is about listening ) truly there is little of discussion here nor for and against arguments bcz most of the articles r thought provoking .
my dear mr varalotti dont mind y r u always so nice to all the ladies maybe u can try to give a clear picture rather than always making the ladies feel v comfortable wht ur comments maybe ur comments shd make ppl think like ur articles wot u say ?
article was v gud indeed and for the first time i realised the need to listen i have tried to modify myslf by replying last to the post ( ) ) i am listening to wot my son has to say now rather than telling him wot to do always great change in me indeed thanks for tht .

varalotti · Jan 22, 2007

All Gaps Are Due To Poor Listening, Meenu!

Dear Meenu,
What your mil has said could be ancient wisdom. But to say that parents need not listen is leading them to some great disaster. In fact the very idea of my listening thread is to make those in a superior position to listen. (Parents to children, boss to subordinates, mil to dil etc) Our listening to our bosses is okay. It naturally happens. But our listening to our subordinates or children does not happen most of the time.

These words of you represent your distilled wisdom borne by years of good living and good parenting
"It is possible to run a home without quarrels if you cosider each member of the family as another creation of God entitled to live his own life in his own way."
You are not off the track, Meenu.
regards,
Varalotti

varalotti · Jan 22, 2007

You have a point, Sushi!

Dear Sushi,
You have a very valid point. If we listen all the time, when shall we speak and when shall we act.
I made it very clear that we should listen. I never said that we should only listen and do nothing else.
Voicing our views and acting upon our thoughts is equally important. Normally when we have a listening session in a training programme we usually have AT (Assertiveness Training) where we train the students to assert themselves. But even for a meaningful assertion or a strong action, good listening is imperative. Everything starts with listening.
Thanks for the post, Sushi.
regards,
sridhar