It is fully upto you to decide whats best for you. IMO, Its very important to give proper response in the proper way at the proper time to any person or situation and take correct steps or actions. I wont suggest anyone to adjust with bad treatment. Its understandable to get shocked or not able to give it may be for the first few times. But if we can't do after multiple times, or years of improper treatment from whoever it is, its our inability to rise or adapt to the situation. I consider its failure, that needs my proper attention and demands training or improvement from my side. We have to upgrade ourselves with new skills to cop with these situations and people. All of us are work in progress. We can keep complaining, but how long. How many times..it will go on if we cant rise upto the occasion. Its better to stop complaining if we can't do anything, there are only two ways -to walk away or do something about it. Sometimes, staying away from toxic people and situation is the best option, but if we cant do that, we need to learn how to face it confidently. Sometimes it can he headon, sometimes strategic, diplomatic way, sometimes similing it off, walking away, depends on the situation. A practical approach that suits the situation or better for your life. These skills include building a support situation in any tough environment. If, I were in your place, if this job is not important, I may quit. If job is top priority, I wont resign till I find a better option, simply because one person commented on another person. It is that persons responsibility to deal with it. If that person didn't ask your help, you cant interfere in it. I will keep exploring and wait till I get a good exit. Also, the bad person, I will deal with him very professionally and rest of the time avoid him if I cant do anything else. But I would have talked to him firmly and expressed my discomfort and asked him to stop when he cross the boundary. If not, go to higher levels if he has been crossing boundary after repeated warnings. I wish you to find a job that provide a respectable working atmosphere. Even then there are so many challenges and stress every day. We cant expect every one to talk nicely based on our expectations. There is a huge difference between ' talk to' and 'talk at'. Many people dont know how to. Giving and taking respect is always great. Good luck
Does your family survival depends on your salary . If not Quit Does you Quit impacts your immigration status. If not Quit. Stop over thinking. In my office, people were let go and people quit with a day notice because they did not want to come onsite. what are you afraid of. Networking , Learning new skills rest is all you. Fake your resume, add new skills but be prepared for them . LinkedIn like anything. remember if there is NO HR, avoid any exit negative comments. Some of it is documented. In the new job you can mention, those catch phrases like re-org and layoffs .
Perhaps you are misconstruing the advice pouring in. No one is saying that it should not bother you, that you should take it easy, or you should be okay with it. The gist of most advice is that stressful situations will occur in any job. You need the skills and strength to deal with it till you can find another job. Instead of judging the women in your office for being casual about hugging and taking pictures, or venting each time that guy restarts his inappropriate comments, be more strategic. Identify one woman in your office whom you could befriend. Build that friendship. Keep it at a work friendship level. Once you have a "friend", things change. This needs some research and effort, and trial and error as there is no automatic bond of "fellow desi woman." The ability to ride out an unpleasant situation is a necessary life-skill. As an example - as the school year and college year draws to a close, in my parenting group, there are stories of 17-21 year old's dealing with mean teachers and cocaine-addicted roommates. These young people are counting the days and weeks as they cannot quit their school year or apartment lease. Whether at work, or in prison, or in the in-laws place, having one person even slightly on your side changes the entire dynamics.
finally you are in the right path... you did try your best to get over with this incidents but since its coming once again than to be moving away from it... take a good nice break then start into some good summer jobs..you going to have a blast or have good summer trip with family then start over
There are only two women who are American in their mid sixties.Hugging them and calling they are hot I felt is different from hugging me and calling am hot..didn’t feel right They need their SSN and they are single..my gut instinct does not feel Right .. This guy is not American nor born and brought up in America.He is in USA only for last 10 years..He should also be able to quite judge Indian women I felt ..
I dont think you need to hug him in your office every day. Next time, deny it, or show namasthe. Avoid touch. Dont worry what he will think.
I avoided all that and became very silent.. he took the hint but it irritates me the way he objectifies women and talks “only” about women. Maybe am not okay with it.. for sure in a big office no one can talk about women all the time he is bound to get fired.. Here he is on a roll.. He does not realize nor cares people can get uncomfortable even if it isn’t related to them.. thete are rules what to talk or not in an office.. He is free to do whatever he wants outside with his friends or family…but in an office I feel he is crossing boundaries. Anyways maybe other women can handle this and I could not..so am taking my break better for me
Anika, you don’t have to explain or justify yourself. Something in your workplace is causing you discomfort. You are fortunate to have choices and not in a position where you are forced to work to support your family. There are good workplaces and there are toxic workplaces. If you do want to establish a career don’t let these negative experiences get you down. Keep applying and you will find a respectful work environment.
Harrassment is not acceptable and it should be reported to HR or higher level. You can handle what comes to you, but not everything around. If you have decided to leave, make sure it wont end in a negative note and affect you in your next job search . You have problem with only this person, not others. So, hope it works for you well. May be others know how to handle him or don't want to 'burn the house to smoke out a rat', not sure. But its not your fault that you are in this bad situation. As you have options, consider it as a learning experience and be strong. Good luck
Anika, like MalStrom said, you don't have to explain or justify yourself to anyone. Also, don't make it complicated. Your workplace is causing you more stress and discomfort than any positives it is bringing into your life. So, take the decision to quit. Move forward. Now plan for how to quit, and when. There are many times in life that we face an unfair, "no win" or "not right" situation. Sometimes, the best option is to walk away from it. Is it fair or right that you are having to walk away from an otherwise almost perfect job only due to one guy's unwelcome comments? No. It is just how it is.
