Dear friends, I am totally broken today. I know, it is hard to be strong all the time. I am also a human, and I too have emotions. I am tired of this life & everything that happens around me. Please bear with this long post - it is a vent!!! My relationship with my H has always been on the rock due to the external interference. He knows that I love him, and I know that he loves me much. But this level of confidence on each other, at times, makes us take each other for granted. That's where these external people interfere and complicate our relationship. I being the primary bread-winner of the family, take care of everything at home. Not just financial matters, but also family matters with regards to kids and home. My H doesn't have a great career, which prevents him from taking up the provider role. His travelling schedule, his lack of experience & interest also prevents him from taking up the care-taker role for the family. He needs to be told, reminded, instructed and supervised if he is expected to assist us in anything. Even if that is a simple task like bathing the kid. He doesn't do that spontaneously. I have been tired of assigning him tasks, and keep on reminding him like a secretary all the time; thus I gave up on depending rather started outsourcing services like maid, nanny, driver, and my mom for such helps at home front. This way I could peacefully look after my home progress in it. His family has been interfering into our lives way too much. This was beyond imagination like they wanted to decide when we should have babies, when we should go to work, build a house, where to live, what to eat, what to name the kids, which religion they should follow, how much to save etc..etc... My H was very poor at keeping his folks at their places, rather he expects me to adjust and accept. He believed they were right, and doing it with the good intention though. It may be normal in his side. But I knew with experience that their intention was not to help, but to separate us as they didn't like our inter-religious love marriage at the first place. Though I don't wanna go in detail on this, I am very much sure of this With everything said & done, after almost a decade of emotional, & financial sufferings in their hands, I decided to quit the marriage. I gave my H an ultimatum that he should decide whether he could protect us (me and kids) from his folks abuse (emotional & financial) to be with us or not. Finally, my H decided to protect us; hence cut all the ties with his folks. This way, after a decade long of trial and error, we have come to an agreement to put each other as our priority, and work for our marriage first. I was happy for a while for this decision by thinking he has finally seen the ugly side of his folks; hence decided to take our side. But i was wrong. It was rather, my H has seen the ugly side of myself (as an arrogant, powerful woman); hence decided to protect his marriage by staying away from his loving folks. He regrets that decision all the time, and wanted to patch up with them at any cost. He feels guilt and makes me feel guilt for doing this to him. In fact, I didn't ask him to cut all the ties with them. All I asked was to maintain a border, so that no one enters into our private life unnecessarily and poke their nose into us. I know, all the husbands do that for their family, including my brother, BIL, his brothers etc..etc... So, I don't think I was wrong in anyway for standing up for myself/my family, that too after having gone through a lot in the past. The issue of today : We are renovating our home. So, we have hired a contractor (of my H's choice which I also agreed) and given the contract. I have allocated the money for the renovation work from my savings, and planned other expenses accordingly. I didn't want to touch my FD, since these are minor renovations and I could somewhat handle them within the salary + available savings (despite of some adjustments which I could handle) My H knew it, but he didn't care since he has never handled finances for the family. Therefore, he has amended the contract, and given some additional tasks to the contractor - causing extra expenses. He did that behind my back, not intentionally though, but he didn't think it was important to discuss these matters with me. I was shocked to hear this from the contractor, as I was not planned to spend extra money this month. It is almost the last week of the month, and my savings are almost nil and I am already scratching my head to cope with usual expenses like kid's tuition fees, domestic helper's salary etc... and hence badly awaiting for my salary. When questioned, my H said he believed these renovations are extremely important, and we should do it now. Besides, he believes we should listen to the contractor as he is the technical person, and it is not important to discuss these matters with women in the house - as women like me have no technical background with regards to civil engineering. WTF... I was so mad at him for talking like this with me. If not for technical matters, at least he must have consulted me for financial matters, because it is me who is expected to pay. This is not the first time... He has interfered with such contractors in the past during the construction time of our house too. He has made them enter into new contracts, and made me pay extra money which were beyond what I could afford that time. This way, I had to suffer a huge financial crisis back then, and had to change the plan and everything related to our house constructions. That stays as the biggest failure in my life till now. Therefore, I am very careful now a days about any such financial dealings; thus questioned my H. This broke a fight last night, and my H was unhappy about the way how I try to take the lead, and sideline him in the family matters. He feels like I am dominating, and being arrogant. I must admit that I was harsh last night. I asked him to pay if he wants to make any such amendments into the contract behind my back - which he took as an offense. I know that I am already very stressful for being a full time working mother, and handling home front, commuting long hrs, and now stressing over about our left servant maid/piled up household chores, kids' exams etc.... while battling office politics on the other hand. I was PMS last night, and I already has PCOD and hormonal imbalance to add fuel to the fire. But staying calm and awaiting him to understand doesn't seem to be working in my case either. I felt like I needed to speak up. I needed to stay assertive here. Because these matters are eating my sanity. This made him go into self pity mode, saying that he had to lose his entire family for me, and now that I expect him to lose his control over his family & home as well. I know that he means it. He stopped talking to me completely since last night. Slept separately, which he seldom does. We usually fight a lot, but we always patch up in no time. But this time, he was hurt. His financial dependency over me (though he works, his salary is small) may be hurting him. He departed for an official meeting early this morning & will come back only during weekends. I sent him a whatsapp msg, asking sorry & explaining my frustration in detail. But he replied with row feelings, stating that he won't interfere into any matters related to our family. And he hates himself for losing his parents & brothers and now his family. I feel broken.... Completely broken. Even after having given up my 100% to this family and this man, I only end up with such comments from ungrateful people like him. What shall I do now?