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I am feeling hurt

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by mkclg, Jan 27, 2009.

  1. mkclg

    mkclg New IL'ite

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    Dear All,

    My inlaws have come down to our place to visit us for 3 days & I have been trying to be as good & poilite as I can be.My DH used to complaint that he wants to see me as happy as I am on arrival of my parents & this time I am really taking very good care of them,preparing good food,taking them to outings & talking to them inspite of my teething toddler who is pooping n no of times a day & nt letting me sleep.Everything is going on smooth as of now & they r leaving tomorrow mrning .
    We are "Vaishnavas" & my Inlaws dnt eat onion/ garlic but my hubby dsnt eat anything without onion & garlic.My MIL is so fond of spicy & chatpata outside stuff like paanipuri,chaat,samosa ,kachori etc that she could take it as her breakfast,lunch & dinner but if plain chapati & sabji is served to her,her hunger disappears.Believe me,I have seen it at times.If u ask her to have dinner ,she wud say that she is nt hungry but if u take her outside she will take 1 masala dosa & 1 chhola bhatura.I dnt have any prob with her eating habits but I am hurt coz of her attitude.On the very 1st day she gave all the sabjis served to her to my FIL coz it was Bhindi with onion.Yesterday eve she jst made sum poha herself & ask me no to cook anything for her.My FIL is ok with the food made with or without onion.garlic.
    I can cook sumthing for her exclusively without onion but she was eating pakores brought from outside happily but she overreacted so much on my "Bhindi ki Sabji".Sunday eve we went to a mall where she had chhola bhatura & appreciated chhole alot but Monday mrning again she did nt touch Sabji made by me.I dnt like this kind of double standards.Whenever my grand MIL comes,i cook everything without onion for all of us coz she is a real "Vaishnav".She dsnt nt even touch any1 after her bath,goes to a temple which is 10 Kms far but my MIL !!!!!!I have never seen her doing routine Pooja at home.
    I was living with them so nicely but now I am nt feeling like talking to her.I am feeling like asking her If she can eat anything outside happily why she is reating so much on the food made by me?
    I m jst waiting for tomorrow mrning when they wud go back to their place whereas I was waiting for their arrival this time coz my Kid becumes very happy when his "Dada daadi" comes.

    Thanks for reading my post .I am feeling a bit relaxed now.
     
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  2. asha_karthik

    asha_karthik Silver IL'ite

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    Dear mkclg.. i was going to write "all you can do to push this problem aside is to write out your heart here in IL and forget about it. its not worth even thinking about it." but you said that in your last line.

    i hv inlaws who do this too. wasting food prepared by me calling it spicy. but they hv food that is two times spicier than this prepared either by themselves or bought outside. these days, anything of this sort i only treat them as a joke to laugh my heart out. so forget about all that. concentrate on ur sick child and his future developments. take care..
     
  3. sandu

    sandu Bronze IL'ite

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    I feel sorry for u. As Asha said, jst brush it aside. There are lots of inlaws who behave this way. They're only trying to see if u pounce on this n make it an issue. Be wise n let it go! Next time, when they visit u, just buy outside food n tell ur husband thats what ur mil eats when here!
    Sandhya
     
  4. Manaswini08

    Manaswini08 Bronze IL'ite

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    From what I can gather, your MIL makes her meals and tells you not to cook for her. But does she go and complain all day long to your DH and FIL that you are not cooking or taking care of her? If the answer is no, then forget about it. Let her make what she wants to eat. You cannot cater to everyone's appetite so don't try to. As long as there are no fights or bad words being spread around why are you so concerned. Maybe she just doesn't like your cooking. Its not a bad thing. As long as your baby and DH appreciate you, you don't need to overly concern yourself with the tastes of your inlaws. Relax dear...their going home tomorrow anyway :)
     
  5. reshsabu

    reshsabu Gold IL'ite

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    Take it easy girl !!!
    Just cook some no onion & garlic food that everyone can eat.
    If she likes the chats , chole etc a lot, see if you can take her out to have those more frequently.If your MIL is being fuzzy about home made food, dont take it to heart.

    She is grown up enough to see that with the baby around and other housework, cooking is not the only thing you need to do.

    They are here just for 2 days right...
     

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