I am a complete man!

Cheeniya · Mar 3, 2010

Dear Sudha
Even as I was booting my PC, I knew someone very special had visited my thread. There was a special glow in my newly acquired Lenovo, a special fragrance the kind of which you get only in the Flower Valley of the Himalayas with its unique flowers like Brahmakamal, Blue Poppy and Cobra Lilly filling my nostrils, music coming out without my switching on the speakers! When I saw your name flashing there, I felt cut up with my PC for not living up to the occasion with more exotic symptoms like offering me a welcome drink with a nice smile.

You encountered a hurricane? That makes you even more special. The only hurricane I had encountered in my life is the hurricane light we carried during my school days.It was my special job to keep it clean and gleaming everyday!

Perizaad is a pensioner's delight! Of course, not every one can be as lucky as Victor Banerjee. And I am highly compromising too. I can spit out whatever I am chewing and say, 'If not Perizaad, give me at least Shamshad, the Begum of the 'forties!

The fellow who produced Kolangal is now showing one of the most dreadful serials I had ever witnessed. My TV goes silent after I finish watching 'Asianet Star Singer'!

Thanks for stepping in, my dear friend! You may have no idea how happy I am!
Sri

Amma15 · Mar 3, 2010

Dear Cheeniya Sir,

How I laughed and laughed and laughed reading your mail and thought to myself ," Cheeniya Sir and I have one thing in common, and they say Great minds think alike ,so I TOO MUST be great ." Modest am I not?
Oh! No. The bulges on the wrong side. Heaven help me ! I am blushing! That would be disaster. No I am not waiting for the auspicious time. It may just be toooooo late.
But truly I feel soo tired just thinking of exercise, especially when I am surrounded by a family of fitness and gym freaks.

Sir, please do forgive me if I sound disrespectful. It was NOT meant to be.

Regards,
Usha

Mindian · Mar 3, 2010

dear cheeniya sir,

now that you are back to writing humour I conclude that that you are in the pink of health. First let me wish you only the very best in health (as at any age it is the most valuable asset that anyone can possess ) and that your sense of humour burns bright and long (which will give you the strength to accept any pinpricks from the Dr Morons of this world.) .
I agree with Jerome..the more medical journals one reads the more diseases one identifies in himself. As i read your post I recalled the first chapter of “three men in a boat “ and was laughing to myself..

On the contrary, whenever, I feel an urge to exercise, I just lie down until the urge passes off safely. My exercise is mostly confined to pedalling an imaginary bike furiously until I fall asleep.

I was :rotfl:rotfl at that.

Next time, if you meet someone looking cheerful and bronzed, don’t side step him. It will be Cheeniya in the mould of who is that guy in Jogger’s Park? Victor Banerjee, chased by Perizaad Zorabian of course!

Whether you are rambling in IL or in Joggers Park, senile or complete you have proved time and again your agility of mind .and now bronzed too?. A deadly combo surely !

Cheeniya · Mar 3, 2010

Dear Usha
First things first.
In Eric Sehgal's famous novel 'Love Story' there is a line that says 'True love means never having to say sorry' It applies with equal force to Friendship too. What is friendship if we can't take liberties with each other? So quit thinking you have been disrespectful and all that.

Let me tell you a story. Once a King put a question to his court enquiring what punishment could be given to someone who kicked the king on the chest. The angry courtiers were uniform in their judgement that the offender's legs must be cut off while a few recommended capital punishment. The wisest of the court (like Tenali Rama or Birbal etc) rose and declared that he would decorate the offender's legs with gold anklets. The court became furious and demanded an explanation. Then he said that no one would dare kicking the King on his chest except the King's infant child! And who could recommend cutting off of the legs of the King's darling child?!

All ILites barring my peers are like my own daughters. Nothing they say or write would offend me or sound disrespectful. So write whatever you want without any such inhibition.

Coming to the bulge at wrong places, it makes it more necessary for women to stick to an exercise regimen than for men. Men can bulge all they want wherever they want. Who cares? But a woman must endeavor to be shapely all through her life like the beautiful Audrey Hepburn who was just the epitome of grace all her life!

Good to know that you enjoyed my post!
Sri

Cheeniya · Mar 3, 2010

My dear Mindi
After reading the opening line of your FB,I rushed to the mirror to ask the usual question in a slightly modified version of
"Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who is the pinkest of them all?"
and to the accompaniment of a hundred violins playing the title song of Pink Panther, the Mirror displayed a young age picture of mine! Though I was a bit disappointed about this chronological insult, I took it in my strides. After all, it did not show an Aamir Khan or Brad Pitt!

Thanks a lot for all the warm words that made me glowing besides being Pink!
Sri

Padmini · Mar 3, 2010

Dear Cheeniya sir,
So happy to see a complete man with his usual humors. But though I google to give fb I never search for any mrdicine or for that matter any ailment. Today’s age of patient advocacy and direct-to-patient marketing of pharmaceuticals, a new phenomenon is flourishing in doctors’ offices: patients asking for specific diagnostic tests or therapies.
I think it’s terrific if you bring information and ideas to your physicians. In fact, it can be a red flag if your physicians refuse to listen to any of your ideas about your evaluation or treatment. Coming to the point of exercise we are sailing in the boat. Atleast yo do have the courage to pedal in dream which I refuse to implement even in my dream.My " Walking" episode ended in shedding out 30000rs. So I took an oath not to venture it again. Married to a man who is so addicted to walking and exercise pestering me to do it. I became furious: According to me I[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]fGod wanted me to touch my toes
He would have put them on my knees![/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] believe He loves us as we are
That includes both big AND small
So when I reach the gates of Heaven
It will be with flab and all!So nobody need look for me in any park !!!
I am confined with my room computer and IL. Am I write?
with love
pad
[/FONT]

Cheeniya · Mar 3, 2010

Dear Padmini
If God wanted me to touch my toes
He would have put them on my knees!

What a fantastic observation! Now why didn't I think of that before? In fact to be frank with you, my inability to accomplish this great task of touching my toes has been so frustrating that I was almost on the point of becoming an atheist. Lord Rama could be victorious against Ravana after chanting Aditya Hridayam but the same sloka was not much of a help to me in my Battle against the Bulge!

You have now opened my eyes with this great statement. God certainly has other plans for me than enabling me to touch my toes, which coming to think of it, is so puerile and not in keeping with my maturity! Knowing my tendency to put my foot in my mouth often, He has rendered it physically impossible for me and without knowing His intention, I harboured such ill will towards Him! Praise be to My Lord, the Inscrutable Power of the Heaven!

If God intended me to touch my toes, He would have had them placed on my head! And when I am about to reach the Heaven, He would certainly have the Pearly Gates widened!

Glad to know that I have such a strong ally in you!
Sri

Tubelight · Mar 3, 2010

Hi Cheeniya

A complete Man or a Complete Pathology Textbook ? Being Dr.Moron to Patient Cheeniya is certainly not an enviable position I see !

I had not heard of Jerome K Jerome. But that one line (‘I had walked into that reading room a happy, healthy man. I crawled out a decrepit wreck.’!) has made me an ardent fan , i adore him already, will get a book asap.

Doctors must regard Google and WIKI as arch villains out to besmirch their fair name . Docs. would certainly support the truism that Ignorance is Bliss - patient's ignorance is doctor's bliss.

Its comforting to know that you feel happy if your condition is certified by The Almighty Net to be something shared by at least one million others on earth. That shows you are an uncomplicated person,god bless you. But I know some twisted hypochondriacs who will not be happy unless they are one in a million having a very very rare disease. Their line of resoning is : if you cannot achieve a listing in Forbes as one of 0.0001 % of the population to own a custom built silver Lamborghini , you might at least aspire to be one of 0.0001 % of pop. to have Schimke Immuno-osseous Dysplacia .Unique identity at any cost.
( BTW Feb 28th. was 'celebrated' as Rare Diseases Day according to the Discovery Network Newsletter . I dunno, though, if Hallmark issued floral motif cards for the occassion. )

Cheeniya, I loved your version of the cycling exercise :biglaugh:biglaughToo bad its not just what the doctor ordered !

But glad to know you are giving the matter of exercise some serious re-consideration and motivating yourself to put one dwadling step before the other with an aim to shape up, even if you are not exactly longing to obtain a body festooned with bulges of different sizes. :rotfl
The prospect of Perizadesque PYTs pursuing you in the Park should prove to be a better goading stick than Dr.Dreyfus' dogged directions.

I'm extremely happy that the volcano of two years ago ( what happened ? ) did not burn out the rambling vein in your cerebrum.

Coming in contact with this Perfect Man has left me infected with a serious bout of Giggleathon hyperventilitis.

Cheeniya · Mar 3, 2010

Dear TL

Of course you are right TL! If you go by Dr.Moron’s body language when I am in the consulting room, you’ll declare him more to be pitied than censured. Even I feel penitent at times but I also understand the risk of letting these guys treat us like the dust beneath their chariot wheels!

If you intend to get acquainted with Jerome K. Jerome, I would strongly recommend that you start with his ‘Three men in a boat’. You’ll love the way he tries to subdue his wife, when she gets argumentative, with the words “The back of my hand is on its way to your mouth!”

“Patient’s ignorance is Doctor’s bliss” sounds ominous. It is perhaps this perception that drives people by the millions flocking to WIKI! There are then people like me who resort to WIKI to estimate the Doctor’s ignorance about my ailments. The Doctors are so busy these days that they hardly get any time to update their knowledge and I help them to bridge their knowledge gaps!

There is a lot of logic in some people wanting to suffer from rare diseases which no one can spell easily and could probably the climax question in a spelling bee contest! I remember a story of a person who could not get through in an interview. When someone asked him, he simply said ‘Pneumonia’ The other guy expressed his regret that he was down with that dreadful fever at the time of his interview and our man replied “No, I was not down with it. I could not spell it!” But this ‘Schimke Immuno-osseous Dysplacia’ does not impress me as a disease. It sounds more like an expletive used by Julius Caeser when he observed Brutus drawing out his dagger to stab him!

Chennai does not boast of many Perizaads and there is no way one can expect motivation for walking from that side! My walking space is invariably over-populated by septuagenarian ladies who continue to harbor a secret desire that the reversal of their aging process may be due any time!

About the eruption of the volcano, you will find it in my following thread:

http://www.indusladies.com/forums/cheeniyas-senile-ramblings/13675-an-awesome-visitor-16.html

The concluding sentence of your FB is indeed the icing on my Cake!
Sri

iyerviji · Mar 4, 2010

My dear brother

Glad to know you are a complete man. I wish you a healthy life. As you know after 60 everyone requires a good health and to be independent.

I do not do any exercise or go for walking which people think it is a must now a days. For me early morning is to take bath and finish of the cooking and pray to God . By God's grace except for the hip bone fracture due to which I am not able to sit down or do namaskar otherwise I am ok.

There is a hopeful bright beginning as each morning brings your way the promise of good strength and therefore this is just to wish you that you should always have good health.

Regards
vii