Hyperactive Child

Re: hyperactive kid

Hi Kavya,
What does a energy level of a kid has to do with the gender
Why do you say its a boys thing ?
Now I'm getting worried since I have girl who behaves like this
Just curious to know the answer :cheers
Thanks
Mangai

 

Re: hyperactive kid

Hi Mangaii,

I have been observing a lot of my friends kids who are in the age group of my son. I do see a distinct difference in the behavior of girls and boys. The boys somehow end up getting more interested in cars, trains and puzzles. And the girls get more interested in dressing up. In general I feel girls are a little softer while playing. The boys are more boisterous !!! I don't know if testestorone can influence their behaviour as early as two years of age But they definitely run, jump, fight and kick much more then girls. Ofcourse there are also tom boys out there. My comments here are just my observations and not any generalizations.

Thanks,
Kavya.

 

Re: hyperactive kid

Hi Supriya,

Processed food is definitely a good point. I came across the interesting viewpoint of a parent on another discussion forum regarding food habits and aggressive behaviour. See below
-------------------------
Just from a health stand point I'd cut out excess starches and sugars,
increase veggies, fruits and proteins, and stick to whole foods. As a
nutritionist I try to feed my son healthy all of the time as this is an
area that is important to me. However I also try to not be too strict
because research has shown that the more you restrict a particular food,
the more the children want it.

So to balance this out I was allowing my son to have one medium sized
cookie with his lunch every day at daycare. The daycare came to me and
told me that my son was misbehaving more and more each day, hitting
other children and throwing things and not listening, etc. I had no
idea what to do at that point, but my first thought was to cut back on
sweets because I know how they can effect me and my son shares my genes.
However I did not expect this strategy to work at all.

So I stopped sending my son to school with his daily cookie, and 3 days
later the director of the day care asked me what I had done with my son.
She said he was acting like an entirely different child! So definitely
nutrition makes a difference.

As far as from a behavioral standpoint, often children misbehave either
because they want attention, or they are frustrated. What I found works
for my son is really listening to him, even if I am saying no to his
request. I repeat back what he says to me (mirror technique) so he know
he has been heard. For example a dialogue might go:

Son: Mommy, I want a cookie.
Mom: I understand you want a cookie, but you may not have a cookie right
now.
Son: I want it!
Mom: I understand you want a cookie, but the answer is No.

I keep repeating back what he is saying so that he knows I am not saying
no because I don't understand him, so that he has to keep repeating his
request, but instead that I'm saying no to his request but that I've
actually heard his request. Another good technique is to redirect his
behavior to something more constructive. So say he is throwing some
inappropriate things. Maybe take him outside and throw a ball around
with him.

Hope that helps...

------------------------------

Thanks,
Kavya.

 

Re: hyperactive kid

yah as you said on the ohr hand he is very caring n loves kids alot.but because hyperactiveness he is hurting himself manytimes recently he slipped coZ of his fast running and backside of the head its a big injury.
and its very tough to control him in malls and outside places as he moves here and there n demnands wat he want.he is very smart that catches things fast and got good memory ,but this activeness sometimes crosses limits
give me suggestions please

 

Re: hyperactive kid

Hi Kavya,
My personal thoughts on this subject that this idea is forced by society that boys should be playing with cars and girls should be playing with dolls.While the society describes a girl who plays with boys toys as tomboy what name is given for boys that play with girls toys.I think it has to do more with the personality of the child and the interest and not surely based on gender. I don't believe in this stereotype thinking.And also I don't think the kind of toys they play will define their future.Car should be seen as a toy and not a representative toy for boys world. Although SAHD is not a common thing in Indian Society I see thats not the case with other society.And also I hate to say that pink is associated with girls.Why can't a boy wear a pink shirt ?As a parent we have to teach them to play with cars and toys.Playing has to been seen as a learning.


Thanks
Mangai

 

Re: hyperactive kid

There are lot of useful suggestions.Hope it helps
Thanks
Mangai

 

Re: hyperactive kid

Hi Mangaii,

I also felt the same before my son was born. I felt we were just stereotyping boys and girls. But my attitude changed after I saw my son and many other kids in his age group. My son and many of my friend's sons developed an automatic interest in cars. They just get so fascinated with cars and trucks. The girls developed their own interests. None of the parents are brainwashing their toddlers saying that these are boy toys and these are girl toys. Somehow they gravitated towards them. I definitely think that boys and girls are genetically wired differently. When I read the book "Men are from Mars and women are from Venus" my views only got stronger.

Thanks,
Kavya.

 

Re: hyperactive kid

Kavya, I have noticed this boys will be boys here a lot. Let me tell you something, it does not have to be brainwashing, there is a subtle reinforcement of boyness and girlness. Look at the gifts, clothes, books that boys and girls receive. For boys it is commonly balls, machines, vehicles. The toys are almost always trains, cars, cranes.
K loves the kitchen because that is the centre of activity in our homes. We got him a kitchen set, to keep inquiring hands off hot stove, where he cooks up his imaginary potions. A visitor told us we will raise him to be a girl that way. He loves to play catch, run around, etc. but given a choice, he will return to his kitchen set.
I routinely get asked if K is a girl by total strangers (I mostly dress him in ethnic/handloom clothings for his eczema), why? He has eyes like a girl, how the heck does a toddler have girly eyes... what exactly are girly eyes, anyways. IMO gender stereotyping exists in ways not very apparent and not necessarily wrt to toys.
On the other hand, K's cousin D is a very active, rumbunctious three year old. She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee , loves her cars and knows all motorcycles on the road, her favorite vehicle. There may be little genetic differences, but the social conditioning starts very early. I would say at the cradle.

 

Re: hyperactive kid

Aruna, one thing I will do is repeatedly reinforce gentle touch, how to be soft, one finger touch. Some children are really fearless, they jump, run carelessly. I will narrate a story here my MIL says of her two children. R and A (DH and BIL) apparently decided at one point they need to race down the stairs ON THEIR BICYCLE. I think DH had bruises while BIL broke a bone! Fun... NOT!
When he gets difficult to handle in malls, can you distract him to something else and remove him from the place.
K has a penchant for re-arranging everything in shop display. So I enrol him to help me pick groceries. So pick something, say rice packet, give it to him and ask him to place it in the shopping basket or the push thingy! I am there right behind him, ready to catch the packet if he drops it. Then I praise him for being careful and being gentle.
When he bangs his toys, I show him how to make different noises with his "musical toys". basically just food-grade containers with a lot of different types of beans. Distract, distract, distract and engage in something else. It does eventually pay off. From what you say, it does not seem like he is destructive, just needs some chanelling of his energies.

 

Re: hyperactive kid

Hi Kavya,
I never said men and women are same.I strongly believe they are totally different.But the point of discussion here is at toddler level do we need to differentiate toys that are played between boys and girls.

Thanks
Mangai