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Husbands speaking harshly...

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by testuser1234, Jun 17, 2008.

  1. testuser1234

    testuser1234 New IL'ite

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    Hello Ilites,
    I just wanted to know if there was anytime when husband was speaking harsh words to you. In my case my husband gets anger on slightest thing. He has lot of ego and I would frankly say a very high ego. Initial days i used to feel very bad but now I am used to it. I always said this to myself why should I not take his anger when I take his love... Most of the women including me think that they should be respected by their husband.. we must have heard harsh words from our siblings or even parents we are ready to forgive them then why not husband.. I just wanted to know everyone's suggestions and views on this.
     
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  2. roopadadia

    roopadadia Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I liked your statement "I always said this to myself why should I not take his anger when I take his love... "

    You are also right that if you could forgive someone in your family behaving in the same manner then why not your husband.

    But you also need to analyze why he gets angry was there any provocation or just to satisfy his ego. But then again what is an ego and what ego to be satisfied.

    Does he get angry in fron of others or when you are alone...were your really wrong or just to show that he is more knowledgeable or superior that he blows his top.

    When in a good mood...you also need to make your DH aware that getting angry is not going to do him any good healthwise hence he needs to take care. or is it that he has some frustrations elsewhere and he takes it all out on you.

    I know that the reply that you are looking for is different.

    I would say that i would take someone's anger or harsh words only if i am wrong...but if the other person makes it a habit of letting someone down for no fault of theirs then its a no no.

    My DH says when someone hurls harsh words or get angry with you say that i don't accept it...so whatever you don't accept goes back to him/her right. Harhar
     
  3. Drpreethis

    Drpreethis Gold IL'ite

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    Perfect, roopa ! Testuser, you dont have to take someone's anger unless you are wrong if its just to vent out their ego ! ( Unless you have the world's patience) I agree we could digest any of our loved ones' anger when we can take their love ! But not at the cost of of just letting go our individuality. Anyone needs to be corrected when they are at fault and any loved one could do it.. be it parents, siblings or even husband ! But why would you when you are clueless about what you are being abused for ?? Life needs to be balanced.. with lil love and lil anger ! Not with lil love and more anger.. You said " Initial days i used to feel very bad but now I am used to it " .. So actually deep down your heart u r hurt but have jus managed your anger. I am sure you let your husband know that.. He could manage it as well !! If he is generally like that then maybe its a serious problem to his health as well.. But if he is jus this way to you and you alone thennn... testbaby you need to change him for good instead of putting up with it ! This is my opinion .. atleast not what you would have expected I suppose..
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2008
  4. Mamta Hemnani

    Mamta Hemnani New IL'ite

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    why should we listen harsh words? without any fault? NEVER!
     

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